JESSICA ROAN | GUEST

If there’s one subject I know a lot about, it’s teenage boys. I had only one brother, only male cousins my age, a male best friend, am raising two sons, and am surrounded by them daily in my high school classroom. Boys can be rambunctious, funny, squirmy, hot-headed, sensitive, and sometimes complicated. For some of us, parenting or mentoring teen boys feels frightening, like trying to tame a tornado you can’t even track. And yet, when I listen to the woes of other boy-moms or fellow teachers, I find myself smiling. Not because the challenges they face aren’t serious or concerning at times, but because I have seen the other side. My own father, my husband, and numerous past students were all once teen boys whom people were very concerned about. Were the concerns valid? Yes. Will I have many concerns about my own sons and future students? Absolutely. But I have seen God transform even the most challenging teen boy into hard working, loyal, sincere men, and yes, into men after his own heart.

God Loves Making Immature Boys into Godly Men

He was young and insignificant, so unimpressive that his father didn’t even consider him when Samuel came to call. The prophet was looking for a king, and David couldn’t possibly be it. He was too small, too young, and not strong enough for a job like that. While Samuel observed the sons of Jesse, “ . . . the Lord said to Samuel, ’Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart’” (1 Sam. 16:7). By God’s power, David kept Saul subdued with the sound of a lyre and defeated Goliath with a slingshot and stone.

He was the bratty little brother. Already the favorite, he had the nerve to tell his older brothers that he would one day rule over them. But God wasn’t going to let a little thing like his being sold into slavery keep him from using Joseph to build his kingdom. After being cast away from his family and reduced to the lowest position in a foreign land, God accomplished his perfect plan by giving him the favor of his captors and the ability to save his people from starvation (Gen. 39).

God Loves Transforming the Troubled into Godly Leaders

The gospel. It is funny how often we use this word and yet how often we forget that God is in the business of salvation— transforming sinful people and using them in mighty ways. In Ezekiel 36, God promises: “I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh” (36:26). And 2 Corinthians 5 tells us, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come” (5:17). Will I worry if my son, student, or family friend acts on impulse, makes poor decisions, or intentionally sins? Absolutely. To despair, however, is anti-gospel. A walk through the Bible reveals a hall of faith filled with unruly boys (and girls!). Moses made excuses; Samson gave in to lust; David committed murder and adultery; Peter denied Christ, and Paul did everything he could to undermine the early church.

Yet God works in and through his people despite their weaknesses, temptations, and sin. God provided Aaron to meet Moses’ weakness. Despite Samson’s disobedience, God used him to protect his people from their enemies. avid was humbled and learned repentance. Though Peter denied Jesus, he was restored and strengthened and went on to establish the early church. The apostle Paul experienced a drastic conversion so that he might see the glory of Christ. Even more, he experienced significant suffering so that he would know the power of God at work in him (2 Cor. 11; Phil. 4). God worked in and through each of these men’s lives, despite their failures and flaws.

Both the weakness and outright disobedience of some of the Bible’s most significant players were used in God’s redemptive plan. While I certainly wish I could determine the path God has for my sons, students, and other boys in my life, I know that God will use their challenges, struggles, and even sins for his good purposes. It is never easy to watch the boys in our lives struggle. Yet, whether it be honest immaturity or outright sin, God has proven time and time again that he loves to transform people into vessels for his gospel.

So, when our sons struggle, we can point them to these men in Scripture and show them the power of the gospel and how God transforms people for his purposes. Rather than despair over their immaturity or respond to them in irritation, we can speak the truth in love. We can be patient with them, knowing that we all need God’s sanctifying grace. And we can pray unceasingly for the Spirit to produce fruit in their lives.

Lord, please grant us the faith to parent and mentor the teen boys in our lives. Help us to trust that you are at work in their lives. Help us to see your glory on display. May we point them to the gospel and remind them of your unfailing promises. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Photo by Pisit Heng on Unsplash