BARBARANNE KELLY | CONTRIBUTOR

I consider myself to be a relatively capable person. I know that I have limits, but I thought my capabilities outweighed them. I used to believe that God wouldn’t give me more than I could handle, until he started giving me more than I could handle. I’m now decades into learning how very weak and dependent—how incapable—I am, and how very strong, faithful, and capable my Lord is.

This summer has been a crash course for me in a whole new area of dependence and incapacity. Early in July my husband fell from a tree, and until his broken bones heal, his injuries render him unable to bear weight on either leg. He also needs a brace to support his upper body due to two broken vertebrae. When Jim came home in a wheelchair, we ran smack up against our limits. Life as we knew it turned upside down. Then, just as we thought we had the new routine figured out; a new unbearable pain sent us scrambling for answers. We called 911 and my husband was taken back to the hospital by ambulance—three times in one week—ultimately to discover that his lungs were lined with a constellation of pulmonary emboli. New medications and heightened cautions were added to our new routine. New depths of weakness and dependence were discovered.

Peter considered himself to be a relatively capable person too, bless his heart. On the night of the last supper, when Jesus told his disciples that they’d all abandon him, Peter rashly denied that he was capable of such a betrayal. But Jesus, knowing full well not only that he would deny him, but also the devastation it would wreak in his dear friend’s heart and mind, assured Peter that even though “Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, . . . I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail” (Luke 22:31–32).

How compassionate is our loving Savior! Even before Peter realized his utter helplessness in the face of the coming trial, Jesus had prayed for him. And his prayer wasn’t that Peter would summon the strength to be equal to the trial, or that he would in fact not deny Jesus when the temptation arose. No, his prayer was that when Peter reached the end of himself and was left floundering in his own weakness and incapability, his faith would not fail. Peter’s courage would fail. Peter’s strength would fail. Peter’s dogged loyalty to his Master—the Christ, the Son of the Living God—would fail. But when the dust settled and the necessary trial had passed, Peter’s faith in Jesus would remain intact.

That third night in the Emergency Department, sitting next to my broken and hurting husband, I ran out of prayers. I was so exhausted, physically, mentally, and emotionally, that I couldn’t string three words together to form a prayer more coherent than, “Lord, help.” So I texted my family and friends, knowing that they’d petition our heavenly Father on our behalf.

The responses flooded in:

“We’re praying for you!”

“Praying—what can we do to help?!?”

“Praying!”

“Oh no! Praying for y’all! What do you need?”

Honestly, I had no idea what we needed. But I knew that my entirely capable Father did know, and that he was hearing every petition lifted to him on our behalf, long after he knew we’d need them. And I knew that Jesus himself was praying for us, because the Bible tells me so (Rom. 8:34). And when all I could choke out was the weakest of prayers, the Holy Spirit would gently carry even that into the presence of God, cleaned up and wrapped in his holy will (8:26–27).

Do you recognize your own limitations? Have you been plunged into new depths of dependence? Has our wise, faithful, and capable Father sent a situation to teach you your weakness and your need for his strength to carry you? Allow your Christian community to pray with and for you, drawing them closer to you and to our Lord as they petition him on your behalf. Rest in the knowledge that in his compassion, Jesus has already been praying for you and he knows precisely what you need. Cry out to him, Beloved, even if your only prayer is a strangled plea for help, for the Holy Spirit will speed your prayer to the throne of grace where you will receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need (Heb. 4:16).

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