EOWYN STODDARD |GUEST

I find myself in a quiet house we recently moved into, having left our previous city of 23 years just as our last child left for college. My husband is away for ten days for work, and our aging family dog is as disoriented as I am by the silence and stillness. Her persistent whining pulls me from my solitude. It was not always this way. Our home used to be bustling with the activities of raising five children—mornings were a flurry of getting everyone to school, followed by afternoons filled with homework, sports, and family dinners. Beyond our own children, we hosted German students for the past five years, engaging in nightly discussions about life and faith. Those years were full, but that chapter has closed.

A New Chapter

I typically enjoy new chapters in books as they signal progress and adventure, but this one feels different. The pages of my life ahead are blank, and I am uncertain how to fill them. After 25 years of mothering, I struggle with who I am now without it. I recall, as a young, introverted mother, guiltily daydreaming about a time when the house would be quiet, and I would have more space for myself. Do not get me wrong! There are certainly benefits to this new phase: the freedom to structure my own time, travel with my husband, and the opportunity to pursue personal interests. Yet, I miss those days of crazy chaos.

A Time for Evaluation

What if?

The early stage of empty-nesting has led to an evaluation of my parenting. I find myself plagued by “what ifs”: What if we had been allowed to homeschool instead of choosing German public school? What if our children had been in a more supportive environment? What if I had been more prayerful or less fearful? My husband reminds me that this “what if” game is a losing game. God has been sovereign over every moment of our life, including my mistakes and my children’s choices. He chose me to be their mother, determined where we would live, and knew how they would respond. Besides, He loves them more than I ever could.

Even If

Reflecting on the past 25 years, God blessed us with so many good gifts, even if life was not always easy. I grew in faith and dependence on God, even if my efforts did not always produce the desired outcome. Our marriage endured, even if we did face challenges. God was at work in building His kingdom, even if we went about it the wrong way. Despite our imperfections and failures, God’s grace has been abundant.

A Time to Press into Our Calling

Empty-nesting is a great opportunity to press further into our calling as followers of Christ. My primary identity is in Christ, not in being a mother (Phil. 1:21). With fewer demands on my time, I can serve more intentionally. I am considering how I want to spend the last third of my life. I do not want to live vicariously through my children. Instead, I am asking God to direct me to a ministry that uses my gifts to serve His kingdom in this new stage. I want to focus on others who need Jesus, spiritual children God will yet call, without neglecting to love my adult children well.

A Time to Renew Marital Love

This new chapter requires my husband and I to reassess our relationship. How do we continue to grow in love, develop shared interests, and balance time together and apart? We do not want our marriage to stagnate or disintegrate. Instead, we want it to become a haven for others, a clearer picture of the gospel of Christ and His bride (Eph.5:32).

A Time to Renew Our Trust in God

Empty-nesting also provides a profound opportunity to renew my trust in God. After 23 years on the mission field, with spiritual battles, challenges, and hard knocks, I find my trust in God needs renewal. The most difficult challenge has been seeing some of our children not walking with the Lord. It has been humbling and painful, but I am slowly learning to trust God’s sovereignty, even when I can’t yet see the outcome.

A Future Full of Hope

The story is not over. For now, I want to be a deliberate, faith-filled prayer warrior and to live out a joyful, trusting faith that my children might want to emulate someday. Empty-nesting is an opportunity to reorient myself towards God, to trust Him more radically, and to invest strategically in His kingdom. Reflecting on God’s past faithfulness gives me hope that God will be faithful to me and my family in the future. And that future will be far from empty! One day, it will be filled with the glorious roaring of the riveted worship coming from the lips of God’s people from every tribe and tongue (Rev. 7:9-10). Each new chapter of that book will be better than the last, for all eternity. Truly, the best is yet to come! So, let us press on toward the goal (Phil. 3:12-14). It will be worth it!

Photo by Luke Brugger on Unsplash