BETHANY BELUE | CONTRIBUTOR

It wasn’t long after I moved to New York City that I was commuting home from a day at the Redeemer offices and happened to be in the same subway car with one of our assistant pastors. I don’t know how the conversation began, but I remember both of us making comments about how busy our lives felt. I was a recent college graduate, single, and navigating life with a full-time job in a big city. He was a pastor, husband, and father of young children. Both of us felt overwhelmed but for very different reasons. I do not remember much of that conversation except for a simple statement he made that has remained with me for many years: “Sometimes we have to say no to a good thing to say yes to a better thing. Every time we say yes to something, we are saying no to something else.”  He probably wasn’t thinking he was making a revolutionary statement to me, but to a young girl figuring out time, boundaries, and life out of college, the statement changed much of my perspective.

The Pull of How We Spend Our Time

When we step back and think about the big picture of our lives, God’s Word makes it clear that each of us has a set number of days. The Lord knows these days before one of them comes to be (Ps. 139:16), and He has directly told us to wisely use our days that He has given us (Eph. 5:15-17).

As women, each of us is in a different season of life. And just like the change of seasons in our climate, the seasons of our lives change. My time looked very different when I was single, working full-time and living in New York City, than my life does today, working part-time with two young children and a husband who is a pastor. In each of these seasons, I have had to navigate how to spend my time. Whatever the season of life we are in, we most likely say life is busy. It moves fast, it’s full of demands, and time is often spread thin. The world around us tells us how to spend our time; the culture we live in pulls us in different directions. Work, volunteer opportunities, hobbies, kids’ activities, social media, and more encourage us to say yes to many things. The opportunities can feel endless, and the challenging part is that many of these yesses are for good things. For each of us, we have an opportunity and a responsibility to navigate what is pulling at us and ask what is best for the season of life God has called us to.

Discerning How to Spend Our Time

If we are children of God, there are three primary tools we use when discerning how to spend the time the Lord has given us.

• God’s Word. God’s Word will not tell us to say yes to one thing and no to another, but it does tell us what is most valuable. Matthew 6:33-34 says: “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” God’s Word is clear on what we should seek after and how the Lord meets us when we seek Him. When we live according to God’s Word, we will remain in step with the Lord and that will impact the decisions we make in our daily life.

• Prayer. The Lord cares deeply about our lives. He tells us to draw near to Him and to seek after Him. Matthew 10:29-31 reminds us that no sparrow falls from a tree without the Lord’s knowledge. “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.” As we make decisions about our lives and our time, it is important to remember the truth of how deeply the Lord knows us, sees us, and is in control of our lives. Prayer relieves us of making decisions alone and gives us the opportunity to surrender our desires to the Lord. As we surrender, we experience the joy of living a life according to the plans and will of the Lord.

• Community. The Lord has called us to live in community with other believers. When we are known by others and living life with others, there is an opportunity for others to speak into our lives. It can feel vulnerable when we let others be a part of our decision-making, but what a gift it is not to make decisions alone. Proverbs 15:22 says, “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.” When we let others into our decisions, we have the opportunity to receive different perspectives and wisdom. We grow in our relationships with others and experience the privilege of being a part of the Body of Christ.

The Impact of How We Spend Our Time

I have always struggled with overcommitment. I love to say yes to many things and I love to be involved in different things. As much as my head and hands may think I have a big capacity, what I have learned through different seasons of life is that when my life gets too full, the most important things in my life begin to suffer. My walk with the Lord, my husband, and my children—before I know it, the pressures of what I’ve said yes to begin to crush the things that deserve the best of me.

The Wisdom in How We Spend Our Time

There is great wisdom and discernment in decision-making. The beautiful gift we have if we are a follower of Jesus is that He gives us His Holy Spirit to guide our hearts and our lives. He is a God of wisdom, a God of clarity, a God whose Word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path (Ps.119:105). He has written a story for each of us that is different from any other. He has called us to live life rooted in His Word and to seek Him for wisdom. He has promised to be with us. He has given us the opportunity to live in community with others and to not make decisions on our own.

The late Christian artist, Rich Mullins, sang a song titled “Step by Step” that many years later plays in my car.

Oh God, You are my God
And I will ever praise You
I will seek You in the morning
And I will learn to walk in Your ways
And step by step, You’ll lead me
And I will follow You all of my days

 These words carry so much weight in how we live our lives and make decisions in light of the Lord. As we seek the Lord and praise His name, He has promised to lead us step by step. As we follow Him, our decisions become less about us and more about Him. May we be women who are living our lives for eternity and are willing to say no to things that may be good so that we may say yes to things that are best!

Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash