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Navigating Conflict in Relationships

HEATHER MOLENDYK|CONTRIBUTOR Claire and Jen were those young moms that spent more time together than sisters. From school choice to playdates to daily phone calls, the friends were inseparable. At least they were until Jen refused to speak to Claire at church one Sunday. Claire attempted to restore the relationship every way she knew how. Fifteen years later, the kids are grown, and Claire still doesn’t know what she did to hurt the woman who used to be her best friend. At the local middle school, Jordyn isn’t faring much better. Her lunch time is spent trying to find a place to eat in peace. What started as a fallout between two friends, has now morphed into a drama that has the entire school taking sides. Jordyn bites into her apple while longingly watching the table where she used to be part of the group. Would things have been different if the injured classmate had been as open with Jordyn as she had with the other girls? Relationships are messy. As sinful creatures, we often make mistakes and hurt one another whether intentionally or accidentally. Fortunately, we serve a God that does not abandon us to the messes our sinful natures create. He walks with us, teaches us, and gives us the power to do hard things. Jesus teaches His followers how to manage relationships in the book of Matthew. Though the teachings of Christ might make us squirm, Scripture is incredibly clear as to how we are to navigate the struggles that come our way...

Navigating Conflict in Relationships2023-08-17T14:20:25+00:00

Steadfast Hope for a New Semester of Ministry

BECKY KIERN|CONTRIBUTOR It’s that time of year again. Everywhere I look there are advertisements for kids clothing, backpacks, and notebooks. My inbox is full of email correspondences for fall teaching engagements. My social media pages are filling up with photos reminiscing about last-summer adventures. And friends are preparing to drop their kids off on the new adventure of kindergarten and college. All of this adds up to the truth that another summer is ending and a new fall semester is upon us. Some of us are entering into this new semester with excited energy. We are ready to roll out the new ministry programs we’ve developed or Bible studies we’ve prepared to teach. But some of us find this semester approaching and the best we can do right now is limp along. We are unable to fathom where we might get the energy for this new semester. We are still recovering from, or in the middle of, a painful ministry season. Paul’s words of hope to the Romans, can offer us a chance to pause and reflect upon the simple, yet profound foundational truth of the gospel message. His encouragement to the early church was to remember their peace, their relationship with God, and their steadfast hope. And his words of encouragement can offer us the same hope as we enter our ministry work in this new semester.  Romans 5:1–5: Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us...

Steadfast Hope for a New Semester of Ministry2023-08-15T13:13:52+00:00

For the Mom Dropping Her Student Off at College

STEPHANIE FORMENTI|CONTRIBUTOR There is excitement in the air. Soon, I will join the rest of my colleagues in welcoming new students to campus as they begin their college career. It’s a celebratory day for faculty and staff—after all, these new students are the reason we are here. It’s an exciting season of life for college students. But I have witnessed enough move-in days to know that it’s not always as singularly joyful on the parent side of things. And for good reason. Leaving your student behind is scary, uncertain, and maybe even disorienting. It goes against every instinct we have as moms. So, how do we navigate these emotions in a way that is faithful and helpful for our son or daughter? While Scripture doesn’t have a chapter devoted to dropping a student off at college, we do find a story about a woman who walked through similar emotions when she left her child at the temple. Granted, the situations are very different, but the story of Hannah in 1 Samuel provides a helpful way forward for moms dealing with these big emotions. First, Hannah maintains perspective. In 1 Samuel 1, we get a sense of Hannah’s deep desire for a child, and we see her persistent prayer for a son. It is gut-wrenching in its depiction. She longs to hold a baby in her arms and to experience the blessing of motherhood. But she also remembers that ultimately any child she is given belongs to the Lord (1:11, 22, 28). This truth works itself out through her actions. Using our sanctified imaginations, we can picture the scene in all its emotion—the tears, the sweaty palms, the pit in her stomach—as she takes Samuel to the temple and leaves him there. She does so because she knows that Samuel belongs to the Lord; it is the best place for her sweet son to be...

For the Mom Dropping Her Student Off at College2023-08-15T13:14:10+00:00

A Prayer for Bible Study

SARAH IVILL|CONTRIBUTOR Another season of women’s Bible studies is upon us! In the midst of all the planning, let us not forget to pray.  Father, We are so grateful that You have chosen to reveal Yourself to us in Your holy Word. Too often we look to other people, places, or things to revive our soul when Your Word alone rejoices the heart (Ps. 19:7-8). Too many times we make room for other relationships in our schedules but fail to take time to “meditate on your statutes” (Ps. 119:23). Help us, O Lord, to “delight…in the law of the LORD” and meditate upon it daily (Ps. 1:2). As we begin another season of Bible study, please give us a heart of love and compassion for all the women who will attend. Open our eyes to see women who are hurting and need someone to befriend them. Open our hearts to those women who have hurt us in the past, or been difficult to understand, so that we might love them well as sisters in Christ. Open our minds to appreciate changes the leaders may have made this year, especially if we would prefer things to be different. Help us to not have a consumer mentality, but to pray that we might benefit, encourage, and edify the women with whom we study and fellowship...

A Prayer for Bible Study2023-08-15T13:14:30+00:00

Freedom From the Idol of Control

VAL PETERSON|GUEST I grew up going to a summer camp where the campers would repeat a chant at the start of every day. The Camp Director would call out, “If it’s to be…” and the entire camp would shout back, "It’s up to me!”  I confess that at the time, I didn’t think twice about what kind of mindset this was instilling in me. In the moment, it seemed like a great way to encourage kids to get along, try new things, and make the most of our days spent away from home. While it’s been decades since I attended that camp and shouted the chant, it continues to be my mode of operation. It seems that with the more kids I have, the life experiences I walk through, and the responsibilities I carry on my plate, the temptation to believe this lie only grows stronger.  When Desire for Control Shapes our Life What’s most frustrating to me is that I have experienced “that breaking point.” After walking through the near loss of my husband’s life to a brain tumor, you would think that I would know by now that all control lies in the Father’s hands. In the darkest moments of that season, there was nothing I could do but trust in the Lord. Yet here I am today, still believing and living by my childhood summer camp chant.  I relate to the apostle Paul in Romans 7 when he wrestles with himself saying, “For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate” (v.15). I hate believing that it is “up to me” to make things happen in and around my life. Yet I am discipled by a culture that says “YOLO” and to “live my best life.” Whether it’s in manipulating circumstances to work in my favor, taking on a role that is not mine to fill, or just reaching for my phone in a moment of uncertainty, the temptation to believe that God is holding out on me and the resulting grasp for control often rules the functional theology of my life. This desire for security, productivity, and knowledge comes from a deeper belief in the lie that it is up to me to sustain the joy and vitality of myself and my family, which only leads me to feel less secure, more anxious, and out of control... 

Freedom From the Idol of Control2023-08-15T13:14:48+00:00

The Most Important Person in Your Bible Study

CHRISTINE GORDON|GUEST I’ve seen the signs and I’ll bet you have, too. They’re on special store shelves, tucked into sale flyers, and piled up in designated areas of Target, curtly signaling that summer is waning. The school supplies are back. It always surprises me, no matter how many summers I’m alive. “Really?” I think to myself. “It’s already time?” Once I’ve accepted the sad fact that pool season will once again come to an end, I begin to think about what comes next. For me and many women in the church, this means Bible studies.  Every fall, we crank up the machine: leaders, sign up lists, childcare, and nighttime meeting spaces. It’s a good effort and a worthy cause. We need the help of our sisters, the regular schedule and expectation of a passage studied, a book chapter finished. But in all our resolute efforts, it’s easy to forget that we are not the only participants in this endeavor. In fact, if the sum of our activity was simply a group of women regularly reading the same text, our time may have been better spent back at the Target school supply area.  The Work of the Spirit Thanks be to God, something more than a good book club happens in these groups—something supernatural and beautiful. God himself, in the person of the Holy Spirit, works alongside the Word of God. Our Father not only reveals himself in his Word; he also illuminates our hearts so that we might understand and believe it...

The Most Important Person in Your Bible Study2023-07-25T19:12:32+00:00

God is Near: Certain Comfort for Moms

LISA UPDIKE|GUEST I walked into Walmart thinking about purchasing a watermelon and salad greens to create a nice, fresh summer meal. I pushed my sunglasses up on my head and proceeded through the route I always take: through the seasonal and sale stuff (just in case there is something good) and then past the candles, women’s clothes, and straight to the produce. Walking my route, I was taken aback. Where the sunscreen had been showcased just last week stood huge displays of glue sticks, pencils, markers, and crayons. Excuse me, Mr. Manager; don’t you know I haven’t even gone on my summer vacation? It is certainly not time to think about school yet! Still, no matter how frustrated I might get with the early arrival of school supplies in my store’s aisles, the new school year is just around the corner, and mothers everywhere are preparing their hearts for the new school year—homeschoolers, Christian schoolers, and public schoolers alike. A Fear We All Have Felt In my role as the Director of Children’s Ministries at my church, I’m privy to the thoughts of many mothers. As moms think about “back to school,” one emotion keeps bubbling to the surface over and over. I hear it in their voices, in the questions they ask, and the conversations they have. It’s not a pretty emotion. It’s one that can sometimes paralyze us.  Fear. We’ve all felt it. Moms are afraid of the task of raising children in today’s culture. When kids are home with us all summer and activities are more family based, that fear slips into the recesses for a bit. But the thought of sending our kids out again to interact with others at school, sports, even our homeschool co-ops, means exposure where we might not have control over what comes in...

God is Near: Certain Comfort for Moms2024-06-21T19:11:03+00:00

Forgiveness: A Costly Yet Worthy Obedience

ELLEN DYKAS|CONTRIBUTOR Corrie ten Boom, imprisoned during WWII for sheltering Jews in her home (along with her family), told a powerful story from a speaking event in Berlin. After sharing about God’s love, a man approached her. Oh, Miss Ten Boom, I’m so glad to see you…don’t you recognize me? She realized he was one of the cruelest guards in the concentration camp where she had been imprisoned with her sister, Betsy. He enthusiastically told her he was now a Christian, marveling at God’s forgiveness for all the cruelties he inflicted on people. But, he said, he prayed that God would give him an opportunity to ask one of his victims for forgiveness. Miss Ten Boom, will you forgive me? Corrie said, “I could not. I remembered the suffering of my dying sister through him...and I realized that if I did not forgive those who sin against me, my heavenly Father would not forgive me…but I could not [forgive him], but could only hate him.”[1] Confronting our inner hate and desperation I’ve not suffered the kind of trauma which Corrie endured, but I have been sinned against, and have confronted hatred in my heart towards evil doers, as well as believers who’ve betrayed me and mishandled my heart. What about you, sister? Today, are you weighed down with lingering pain and anger due to someone’s sin against you? A leader, friend, husband, parent, son, daughter, or boss? Do you resonate with Corrie’s desperate honesty, I can’t forgive, I can only hate?...

Forgiveness: A Costly Yet Worthy Obedience2023-08-15T13:17:27+00:00

Passing on an Eternal Legacy

RACHEL CRADDOCK|CONTRIBUTOR I love traditions. I can be persnickety when it comes to the execution of my precious practices and rituals. One Thanksgiving, my brother, who is a very talented chef, fancied up the cranberries. His adding to the traditional recipe sent me into a frenzy—and I cried. However, my love of traditions has mostly had a positive impact in my family life. There are several ways I created traditions for my four children: back-to-school photos on the front porch; family-themed Halloween costumes; March Madness bracket challenges; listening to a state-line songs on road trips, and pizza on paper plates in pajamas when my husband has a late meeting—just to name a few. The natural cadence of life in our home is bolstered by such traditions. As much as I cherish my traditions—which I assume as women we all love to create lasting memories with our children—traditions like that back-to-school photo on the front porch this fall will (perhaps) leave a lasting legacy; however, the traditions which we tend to fuss over while our children are in our homes will not extend into eternity. Reader, I am going to be honest with you here: I am human, both wretched and redeemed. Like the Israelites in the wilderness, my heart is prone to wander, and I am distracted by light and momentary afflictions. But God is faithful to keep me on the course. When it comes to being a parent, my love of earthly traditions can hinder me from being intentional to pass on the most integral and eternal tradition I have the privilege of passing on to my children— passing on the truth of who God is to His covenant people...

Passing on an Eternal Legacy2023-08-15T13:17:49+00:00

Take Heart

JAMYE DOERFLER|GUEST In general, I don’t recommend paying close attention to the words written inside a bathroom stall. Twenty years ago, I made an exception to that rule. In one of the women’s bathrooms at the seminary where I worked, someone had posted a Bible verse on the inside of each stall door. On that day, I happened to pick the stall with John 16:33: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (NIV) I’m sure I’d read that verse plenty of times before, but in that moment, seeing it isolated, I was struck more profoundly, and it’s stayed with me since. Let’s look at it closely. “I have told you these things...” The “these things” Jesus refers to is a long monologue He just gave to his disciples, known as “The Farewell Discourse,” recorded in John 13-17. Shortly before his death, Jesus taught them what they would need to know in his absence. Some of the themes of that teaching included the sending of the Holy Spirit, Jesus’ promise to return in the future, and what it means to abide in him. “...so that in me you may have peace.” The word “peace” conjures up a spirit that isn’t afraid, a mind that doesn’t ruminate on negative thoughts, a heart that isn’t distraught. The Lord has allowed humans to discover ways to calm anxious minds through various means, and I don’t discount them—I myself have benefited from therapy. However, Jesus offers his followers access to a different kind of peace. By providing for the forgiveness of our sins, He offers us peace with the Father. The peace that comes from the assurance of salvation and the promise of Heaven supersedes the peace offered by human means...

Take Heart2023-08-15T13:18:08+00:00
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