Encouragement for the Weary Mom

KATIE POLSKI|CONTRIBUTOR Just a few days ago, I picked up my phone to facetime my oldest. I looked at my reflection in the phone as I waited for my daughter to answer and noticed how tired I looked. “Does my face always look this exhausted?”  I asked my daughter when she answered the call. “Mom,” she said, “you look like you always do.” I suppose it should be no surprise that the daily grind begins to show itself physically. Work, grad school, and other responsibilities certainly make me look forward to laying my head on the pillow each night. But where I feel the greatest weariness, at times, is in mothering. Being a mom is one of the most rewarding jobs the Lord has given me, but it has also been the most wearing. From infancy on, a mother regularly plays the role of referee, chauffeur, counselor, comforter, guider, provider, educator, prayer warrior, discipliner, and the list runs on. It’s no wonder motherhood can make us to feel worn down and inadequate. There are many days that I just don’t feel up for the job of being a mom. And thank the Lord for this. Gratitude For Our Insufficiencies Why be grateful for my inadequacy? Because if my children always obey, if I always feel like supermom, then I would have no reason to cling daily to the cross. Without coming to the end of my rope, I would stand in my supposed self-sufficiency rather than recognize the necessity of Jesus’ grace...

Encouragement for the Weary Mom2023-08-15T13:34:22+00:00

On Commencement

STEPHANIE HUBACH|CONTRIBUTOR When my sons were little, they loved to watch the Walt Disney Davy Crockett movies. In one of their favorite scenes,  Davy Crockett and the local bully—Bigfoot Mason—have a disagreement that leads to a fist fight. The drama opens with each of them spitting on their open palms (remember—I have boys!), clenching their fists, and then cautiously circling around the room—never taking their eyes off each other, declaring “Rough and tumble! No holds barred!” Whenever I’d hear little voices loudly announce, “Rough and tumble!” in our house, I knew that some faux fighting was about to commence. When Graduation Signifies the Beginning Just like a Davy Crockett vs. Bigfoot Mason fist fight, academic commencement ceremonies are often preceded with an announcement. Maybe your family is in the midst of sending out graduation announcements right now—letting the world know that your son or daughter is about to set off on new endeavors. Whoever named graduation ceremonies a “commencement” had to be an optimist, as the word means “beginnings.” It sets our sights on the horizon—what is to come, all that is unknown (in the best and most adventuresome way), and all that might be. The very concept of commencement is brimming with opportunities. When Graduation Signifies the End If you are a parent of a graduate, however, your feelings are likely more muddled than pure opportunistic optimism. For the opening of a new time is also, inevitably, the closing of another. It is an ending—a time of “lasts.” Senior year—in high school or college—is a year of “we will not pass this way again.” The last band concert. The last play. The last football game. The last prom...

On Commencement2023-08-15T13:34:46+00:00

Caregiving with Compassion and Respect: Learning from Jesus

ELIZABETH TURNAGE|CONTRIBUTOR When my dad’s cancer spread to his bones, and he became at risk for falls, my brother and I acted quickly. Out of concern for his safety, we helped him move from the home where he had lived alone for the past twenty years into a comfortable assisted living facility. My dad often half-jokingly referred to the assisted living facility as “Shawshank,” after the prison in the movie “The Shawshank Redemption.” To an introvert who had lived alone since his divorce forty-five years before, being suddenly surrounded by so many people probably did feel like imprisonment. Caring with Compassion and Respect Our story with my dad reveals a common caregiver struggle. As caregivers, we seek the safety of our loved one, and in so doing, we sometimes ignore or minimize their desires. In our commitment to safety, we can also make the mistake of treating adults as if they were children, unable to make wise decisions for themselves. Even when dementia or disease prevents our loved ones from thinking clearly, we still must care for them with compassion and respect. To learn how to navigate this challenging terrain, we must remain centered in Christ’s compassion. Learning from Christ’s Compassion As he cared for people, Christ showed compassion by looking at and for people, by asking good questions and listening to the answers, and by gently pointing people to the hope they had in him...

Caregiving with Compassion and Respect: Learning from Jesus2023-08-15T13:35:11+00:00

Motherhood: A Chrysalis to Flight

MARIA CURREY|CONTRIBUTOR Much of motherhood is wisdom taking flight in hindsight. Prayer was the cocooning to my firstborn’s arrival—praying to get it right, to raise our baby in all the ways God desires. I remember driving home alone one evening, anticipating the arrival of this sweet child. At a tender twenty-two, my spirit sought answers, assured success, wisdom, and grace for this little heartbeat within. The comforting protection of God’s Presence filled my prayers, but in a different way from which I yearned. “Father, please help us to guide and raise this little one’s heart,” I cried. With clarity, my mind’s ear heard, “Maria, you two are just the shepherds of this baby. I am this little one’s Father and always will be. This heartbeat belongs to Me.” It was 1988. We didn’t know who was growing within, a girl or a boy, dark-haired like Daddy, blue-eyed like Mommy? We were soon to tumble head over heels in love. Our precious firstborn, a little girl, was born to us on a blistering hot August day. In a dramatically miraculous entry, saved from the clutches of near tragedy, I met her after an emergency c-section. Her expressions so like her Daddy’s, her little eyes searching my face, her ears tuned to my voice, her coos the sweetest melody; oh, to cocoon her in protected peace! Growth in a Chrysalis However, life in Christ is not a cocoon but a chrysalis. No butterfly takes wing without a complex and even painful transformation. So, it is with parenting. God, as the infinite Father and Creator, designed delicate creatures to symbolize much what our own children experience while becoming the next generation—a becoming like Him that will not be finished this side of heaven. Next came our second child, a towheaded, blue-eyed boy, who was as inquisitive as he was quick on his feet. Two and a half years later came the youngest, another son, whom we call our man of mirth. All three different and yet inescapably a mixture of us and God’s masterful design. Born into a military family, these three each have their own birthplaces as unique as their personalities, a full country triangle represented: a Washingtonian, New Yorker, and North Carolinian.  The chrysalis of each involved years of development, regular challenges faced from babies to toddlers, preschool to elementary, hormonally charged middle school into high school interests, with faith more greatly formed and owned, college choices made, and life then continuing beyond.  Each place we moved posed challenges, our oldest experiencing thirteen schools in her twelve years prior to college. Different homes and military installations, friends who came and went, many whom they left with tears and promises to keep in touch. What shaped, molded, and made their wings stronger? Mostly the hard places, the walls which their wings pushed against to eventually fly...

Motherhood: A Chrysalis to Flight2023-08-15T13:35:50+00:00

The Gift of Good Humor

STEPHANIE HUBACH|CONTRIBUTOR When I was a child, there was a Good Humor truck known for circling the neighborhood, selling ice cream, at the most ludicrous time: 5:30pm. Right before dinner. The irony of it all. The Good Humor driver seemed to taunt us with a bad joke—showing up at the very moment that every neighborhood mom was most likely to say! “No way! That will spoil your dinner!” The arrival of the Good Humor truck was not only poorly timed in those moments, but it was also poorly named as well! Good humor in life, when rightly timed, and aptly delivered—is one of God’s good gifts to humanity. Merriam-Webster defines humor this way: “humor implies an ability to perceive the ludicrous, the comical, and the absurd in human life and to express these usually without bitterness.”[1] According to the University of Derby, in the UK, “Previous studies have suggested laughter has several physical, psychological and social benefits, including decreasing stress hormones, boosting the immune system, reducing pain, improving mood and increasing resilience. The psychological and physiological effects of laughter can increase optimism, energy and cognitive function, while decreasing anxiety, stress, loneliness, depression and tension, leading to a great deal of interest in interventions which focus on inducing laughter.”[2] Humor and laughter have been a mainstay of my life, which I attribute to my father’s side of the family tree. Our Opdahl family gatherings always involve witty jokes, painful puns, and gut-busting belly laughs. My son Tim, who has Down syndrome, often epitomizes this same sense of humor. One Sunday, we were in the midst of a sermon series on the Gospel of John. The pastor had preached on the story about when Jesus turned the water into wine. Tim turned to me in the car on the way home, and quipped, “Remember that Jesus said, ‘My hour has not yet come?’ Well, that’s how it is with me and dating right now. My hour has not yet come!” As a good gift, humor can be used to promote healing, help, and hope into the realities of our everyday lives. But as a good gift, in a fallen world, it can also be distorted and used to hide or to hurt. Let’s look at each of these quickly...

The Gift of Good Humor2023-08-15T13:36:18+00:00

On Milestones, Maps, and How God Directs our Paths

ELLEN DYKAS|CONTRIBUTOR Are you a journaler? I’ve been one since age thirteen and now, ninety-two journals later, my story is there with all its dreams, foolishness, heartbreak, life-in-Christ surprises, and…HOPES! As a teen, I dreamed of writing books and traveling the world to help people. Little did I know how God’s amazing plans for me would unfold! For starters, the first two books I wrote both had some form of the word “sex” in the title…I mean, I seriously did NOT see that coming when I was thirteen years old! When my first discipleship workbook, Sexual Sanity for Women: Healing from Sexual and Relational Brokenness, was published in January 2013, I was thankful and expectant. Thankful because producing this resource had been a long, somewhat challenging process and finally, after more than three years of book “pregnancy,” the workbook was born. I waited expectantly to see the response and impact on women’s lives. One message came in on publishing day from a woman: “You do know, right, that 99% of women in the church will never engage [with] this? Most churches won’t even consider this!” Initially, I felt frustrated and angry. I didn’t want balloons and accolades—but perhaps a little encouragement and thankfulness! But GOD...

On Milestones, Maps, and How God Directs our Paths2023-08-15T13:36:44+00:00

Wisdom of the World vs. Wisdom of the Word

LISA UPDIKE|GUEST Everything is beautiful in its own way!... Never say I can’t; always say I’ll try…..If the sun doesn’t shine, create your own rainbows…..Throw kindness around like confetti….Be true to yourself….Follow your dreams….Dream big!....You can be anything you want to be… Inspirational quotes. They’re everywhere! On little kids’ t-shirts, bumper stickers, water bottles, journal covers, and classroom walls. They sound so witty. Clever. Like little pearls of wisdom. Good slogans by which to live your life. “Yes! I WILL follow my heart, try harder, and shoot for the stars! I can be whoever I dream I can be, and love IS LOVE!” Written in rainbow colors, with butterflies adorning the borders, this “wisdom of the world” beckons to our children. It can be quite confusing. Sometimes these slogans can be true; other times they can be outright lies. Often they are lies hiding right next to truth, subtle in their deceit. That is what makes them so dangerous for our children. Lies parading as wisdom. Teach the Truth There is only one true source for wisdom, and that source is God as revealed to us in His Word. However, ever since the events of Genesis 3, we are prone to seek wisdom from other places. How can we guard our children, teaching them to discern the truth from the lie? Simply put, we must teach our children the truth. How do I know that 2+2 does not equal five? Because I was taught how to count. If you counted out two things and had two more, you kept counting. That is adding. I learned this by grouping beads. I learned by counting on my fingers. It never varies. Two things plus two more always makes a total of four. You can’t convince me that 2+2=5 just by putting it on a pretty poster. Even if all my classmates say 2+2=5, I still won’t believe it, because I KNOW the truth! We do the same with God’s Word. We teach it to our children by rote (like we learn to count). We tell them what the Bible says. We share with them the wonderful stories. We memorize Scripture. Just like I held and manipulated those counting beads, we let our children experience and interact with what God says in His Word. This gives them a foundation of truth. They learn what kindness is, and respect, honor, and obedience. They learn about repentance and sin. They know God’s Word because we are living it with them...

Wisdom of the World vs. Wisdom of the Word2023-08-15T13:37:13+00:00

An Ancestry of Faith

KATHLEEN CHAPELL|GUEST Several years ago, I took my elderly mother on a road trip to a family reunion. I learned a lot during those four days of travel with her—about my mother, and about myself—but also about my heritage—my heritage through generations of believing mothers. My mother, Audrey Roos Gabriel, was raised as a preacher's kid and trained to be a nurse.  Along with Dad, she raised four kids, helped us with homework, drove us to innumerable music lessons, and taught us to love hymns and Jesus. Her mother, my grandmother, Alice Hamilton Roos, was raised by a widowed mother and was a pastor's wife for 30 years.  Widowed at 58, Grandma taught me about the faithfulness of our Heavenly Father. “I was never afraid,” she would say.  “The Lord has always been faithful to me.” Her mother, Melissa Gannaway Hamilton, was raised by a widowed father, married at 16, had ten children, taught Sunday School in the mountains of rural Tennessee, could recite whole chapters of Scripture and many whole Psalms by heart, and taught her children to love Jesus and depend on Him in hard times. Her mother, Tirzah Ferguson Gannaway, who, when her young husband was conscripted into the Confederate Army during the Civil War, gathered up their three young children and newborn daughter, packed a few belongings and the family Bible, and walked through the forests and foothills of central Tennessee to her parents' farm, seeking their protection. Tirzah didn't live to see her children grow to adulthood, but all the family knows the story of how her husband fell in love with her because of her faith in God and her passionate love of the Scripture. And there was HER mother: Eliza Craig Ferguson. Sadly, I know nothing more than her name and dates. No old photos, no family stories. But I think it's clear she raised her daughter, Tirzah, to love the Lord, and I can surmise that she, too, loved Jesus as her Savior.” He is My Inheritance And so there you are—at least five generations of mothers teaching their children about God’s love, praying with and for them, and praying for the generations to come. And I am the next in line.  Bryan and I taught our kids about the grace of our Savior while they were growing up—prayed with them and for them—even as now they each pray for their children...

An Ancestry of Faith2023-08-15T13:37:39+00:00

The Half-full Cup of Coffee: A New Perspective on our Interruptions

CATHERINE LARSON|GUEST “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven” (Matt. 19:14). The half-drunk cup of coffee is a running joke in our family. At the end of many a day, my husband will find my half-empty cup of coffee sitting cold on the counter. With six children underfoot, the morning ritual was of course interrupted by the baby’s cry, by the toddler needing help at the potty, by the fight which needed breaking up, and so on. There’s a glorious inefficiency to motherhood. It doesn’t seem to matter the task, there are always ample interruptions. There are points in my day where I do nothing but hold. The baby needs holding because he is fussing, the toddler wakes up from his nap grumpy, the seven-year-old skinned his knee. By the time the day is done, the tasks are still half-done, like my half-drunk cup of coffee. Maybe you are no longer in this stage of motherhood, but how often we all find this tantalizing satisfaction “of finishing” that eludes us. When it comes to motherhood, perhaps it is because the work of raising children is so abstract, that we long to complete anything. But in our lust for completion, the actual people in our lives—the relationships—can be seen as impediments to progress...

The Half-full Cup of Coffee: A New Perspective on our Interruptions2023-08-15T13:38:00+00:00

Jesus Became Like Us

ALICE KIM|CONTRIBUTOR Have you noticed how you are drawn to certain characters and stories in the Bible? The reason we resonate with one more than another is they often mirror our natural bents and proclivities. The nuances and themes of their story give us words to name our own. We experience comfort and reassurance in our shared struggles and vulnerability to temptations. We are not alone; there is another who understands. In the letter to the Hebrews, the author addresses weary first century believers in danger of discouragement and disbelief. He helps them to see Jesus, the one who is intimate with humanity and their experiences of living in a broken, suffering, and fallen world. Though Jesus is divine, his humanness prepares him to be the great high priest who sympathizes and gives followers courage to persevere in their trials and suffering. Jesus, the Son of God It was essential to God’s redemptive plan that Jesus would have solidarity with those he would rescue and redeem. Therefore, Jesus “had to be” made like us “in every respect” (2:17). He was born in the ordinary way that infants come into the world. He crawled before he walked and cooed before he spoke intelligible sentences. He had his share of cuts and bruises,  colds and flus. And he matured in understanding and wisdom: he “learned obedience” (5:8) and was “made perfect” (5:9). In essence, he took on flesh and became like us...

Jesus Became Like Us2023-08-15T13:38:25+00:00
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