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Grieving as a Couple: Infant and Pregnancy Loss Awareness

KIM BARNES | CONTRIBUTOR Twenty-two years ago, I was twenty-three weeks pregnant with our third child. During a routine check-up, my obstetrician discovered that our baby’s heart wasn’t beating. We were heartbroken. That evening, I was admitted to the hospital to induce labor, and by the next morning, I delivered our stillborn baby girl—Hannah. She was tiny, but fully formed. There were no visible problems—nothing to explain what had gone wrong. God had numbered her days. My husband and I held her in our arms, said our goodbyes, and felt the anguish of never getting to know her this side of eternity. The following summer, we were overjoyed to learn I was pregnant again. It felt like a miracle after the four years of infertility we experienced before our first child was born. But this pregnancy, our fourth, was marked by both joy and apprehension. We were deeply grateful but also carried the scars of our previous loss. One day, while twenty-six weeks along, I felt anxious. The baby’s movements seemed less frequent, but I assumed it was just my grief from losing Hannah making me overly cautious. I decided to visit the doctor, hoping for reassurance, but it wasn’t the news I hoped for. The next day, I delivered another stillborn baby girl. We named her Charity. The weight of grief was unbearable—we couldn’t believe it was happening again. In the United States, 1 out of every 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage, and 1 in every 160 pregnancies ends in stillbirth. October is Infant and Pregnancy Loss Awareness Month, and it is also the month we lost our baby, Hannah. It’s a time for remembrance, reflection on God’s faithfulness, and considering what we learned through these tragic losses...

Grieving as a Couple: Infant and Pregnancy Loss Awareness2024-09-30T14:00:44+00:00

One Voice, One Hope

JESSICA ROAN | GUEST For one night, a few times a year, a shabby 60-year-old auditorium stage is transformed into a magical scene where a group of ragtag students from all nationalities, academic levels, and socioeconomic groups come together  to make beautiful music. As a public school teacher and a parent of students in the school in which I teach, my emotions always run high at school music concerts. Unlike many  in the audience, I know how truly remarkable this moment is. I know that on this night the valedictorian, the child with a math disability, the outcast, the orphan, and a student from one of the most prominent families in town will come together as one. Thanks to the school’s affordable rental program for instruments and even suit jackets and dresses, the ground is even on that stage. All of the drastic differences in finances and home situations vanish when the director raises her hand and the members play Vivaldi as one.  Just like the students in my school, we live in a divided world. It doesn’t take much for us to take sides against one another. Topics surrounding politics, what we read in the news, theological differences, and even how we raise our children can divide us in a heartbeat. Yet, just like a myriad of violins, violas, cellos, and basses in the hands of teenagers from diverse experiences and backgrounds can come together in miraculous harmony, so too can we as God’s children voice Christ’s anthem.  We Have the Same Creed With the release of the remake of Rich Mullin’s “I Believe What I Believe,” I was led to 1 Corinthians 15, what some might call Paul’s own Apostle’s Creed. We all need a reminder of what it is we believe in—what we place our hope in. We live in a tumultuous world. People are confused about what is true and right. In such times, believers can join together and speak of who Christ is. We can point others to these unchanging truths—truths that provide real hope to a world that is lost.   Paul tells the Corinthians “Now I would remind you, brothers, of the gospel I preached to you, which you received, in which you stand, and by which you are being saved, if you hold fast to the word I preached to you—unless you believed in vain” (1 Cor. 15:1-2). What is this gospel?  Christ’s perfect life, sacrificial death, burial, and resurrection (1 Cor. 15:3-8). Paul is careful to point out that this set of beliefs is true despite who relays the message. With some claiming to follow Paul or Apollos in 1 Corinthians 3, Paul is careful to say, “Whether then it was I or they, so we preach and so you believed” (1 Cor. 15:11).   Causes abound in today’s world. Many issues compete for our attention. Now, more than ever, it is time to do as Paul did and vow to “know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified” (1 Cor. 2:1-3).... 

One Voice, One Hope2024-09-27T18:49:03+00:00

How Prayer Changes Us

MARISSA BONDURANT | CONTRIBUTOR We had finished our conversation at the coffee shop and were hugging in the parking lot when my friend mentioned she was going to walk home. Summers in South Texas are not known as prime walking weather, so I quickly offered to give her a ride. She eagerly refused, explaining that she prays as she walks and didn’t want to miss that time with the Lord. Driving home with my air-conditioning blasting and a podcast playing I felt convicted by her joy. I tend to actively avoid situations where I will be uncomfortable, yet here was my friend— excited to sweat(!)—because that light and momentary suffering was nothing compared to spending time with Jesus. What is so compelling to her about prayer? Why is she willing to suffer a bit to spend that time with God? Part of what drives her is that she knows that prayer changes her. She sees sanctification unfolding in real time. And she hungers for it. If I’m honest, most of my prayer time is spent asking God to change things in my life. I want him to remove suffering, give wisdom, open doors, fix people, and give me more patience while I wait for Him to act. It’s about getting God to do things. And it’s about me being unsatisfied with what He’s already done...

How Prayer Changes Us2024-09-27T18:49:25+00:00

Empty Nesting: Discovering Radical Trust

EOWYN STODDARD |GUEST I find myself in a quiet house we recently moved into, having left our previous city of 23 years just as our last child left for college. My husband is away for ten days for work, and our aging family dog is as disoriented as I am by the silence and stillness. Her persistent whining pulls me from my solitude. It was not always this way. Our home used to be bustling with the activities of raising five children—mornings were a flurry of getting everyone to school, followed by afternoons filled with homework, sports, and family dinners. Beyond our own children, we hosted German students for the past five years, engaging in nightly discussions about life and faith. Those years were full, but that chapter has closed. A New Chapter I typically enjoy new chapters in books as they signal progress and adventure, but this one feels different. The pages of my life ahead are blank, and I am uncertain how to fill them. After 25 years of mothering, I struggle with who I am now without it. I recall, as a young, introverted mother, guiltily daydreaming about a time when the house would be quiet, and I would have more space for myself. Do not get me wrong! There are certainly benefits to this new phase: the freedom to structure my own time, travel with my husband, and the opportunity to pursue personal interests. Yet, I miss those days of crazy chaos...

Empty Nesting: Discovering Radical Trust2024-09-24T16:26:46+00:00

From Bitterness to Forgiveness

JULIANNE ATKINSON |GUEST Seventeen years ago, someone who I thought highly of hid behind a computer and lied to me. I did mental gymnastics to attribute their best intentions to the lie. It was like talking to a piece of wood. I didn’t know at the time the price I would pay for the lie and it took me much longer to accept that I was the one to have to pay it. My closest relationships, parts of my reputation, and even some hopes and dreams I had for my life were damaged. It felt impossible to come back from. As image bearers, we have inside us a strong sense of both justice and mercy. It’s no accident that God makes it hard to let go of what we see as injustice. Our glorious God manages to uphold both justice and mercy perfectly. We are encouraged with verses not only asking us to forgive, but also requiring it (Matt. 18:21-35; Eph. 4:32). I love the tender words of Paul in Romans 12:19 “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’” We could think of the quote “vengeance is mine” with a tight, angry fist or even with bitterness that we can’t take revenge ourselves, but the command is actually an invitation. God calls us as His beloved to let the tears flow, let our laments be heard in heaven, and let our Savior walk alongside us in our grief. We do so, knowing that God will tread the winepress of wrath and personally wipe every tear from our eyes. There is peace and humility in our finitude. He knows every offender’s true motives, generational sins and brokenness, background of trauma, and pain that leads hurt people to hurt people. He alone knows what justice demands in every circumstance. Three Lessons in Forgiveness This doesn’t make forgiveness easy. Here are three things I wish I had known about forgiveness from the start. First, the road of healing is longer for some sins than others...

From Bitterness to Forgiveness2024-09-23T15:35:30+00:00

The Calling of Motherhood

BETHANY BELUE | CONTRIBUTOR It had been a good day. A day of errands, laundry, reading books together, playing, and caring for my children. I tucked my 3 and 2-year-olds into bed, came downstairs and sat my tired body on the couch. I opened social media for a few minutes before cleaning up from the day. In a matter of moments, I felt my heart go from thankful and satisfied to longing for more and dissatisfied with what I hadn’t accomplished that day. My feed was filled with creative lunches for toddlers, colorful crafts, ways to organize toys, parenting quotes, and friends going on adventures that looked more exciting than a day at home with my children. None of these posts were wrong or sinful, but my heart was. I went from feeling thankful for my day and the opportunity to be home with my children to thinking I needed to do more in my role as a mother. Different Callings and Seasons Several years ago, I remember reading this passage on singleness: “Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, to which God has called Him” (1 Cor. 7:17). As I wrestled with my thoughts about motherhood, this same passage stirred in my heart. The Lord has given us different callings and giftings. He has given us different seasons to walk in and different stories for our lives. Whether it be social media, a conversation with friends, or observing others around us, it is so easy to compare ourselves in our callings. It is easy to look at someone else’s life and think that maybe their life has more purpose than our own, that they are making a greater difference, that they have their life together when our own life feels hard and messy...

The Calling of Motherhood2024-09-14T15:45:56+00:00

He Knows Me

SHARON ROCKWELL | CONTRIBUTOR When our granddaughter turned five, her parents took her to Disneyland as a surprise birthday gift. She was telling me all about it – her favorite rides, the food she ate, and then suddenly she said, “Do you know the best part Grandma? Almost everyone there knew me! Wherever I went, they called me by my name, and they knew it was my special day. They all said Happy Birthday.” Only later did her parents remind her that she was wearing a big Disney button that said Happy Birthday, Charlotte! We all want to be known. We were made to be relational, just as God is relational. We want to be known on a deep heart level. And we want to know someone who understands us and loves us anyway. Remember Adam and Eve hiding in the garden after sinning? God searched them out and invited them to be known in a way that would provide a road to repentance and forgiveness. When Moses found himself tending sheep near mount Horeb, he heard God speak to him from a burning bush. God called him by name, twice for emphasis, “Moses, Moses” (Ex. 3:4). He answered confidently, “Here I am,” (Ex. 3:4) but God cautioned him to keep his distance and to take off his sandals in reverence because he was on holy ground. Only then did God tell Moses who He was, “I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, The God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.” Moses hid his face. There was nowhere for him to turn his head from God’s blinding purity. Naked and exposed, he understood that God knew every sin he ever committed, and he was overcome by godly fear...

He Knows Me2024-09-14T15:38:33+00:00

No One Left Behind! Made for More: A Shared Journey

KAREN HODGE | CONTRIBUTOR My family and I prepared for a hike during a recent trip to England. As we got ready, we needed to ensure we had all the equipment necessary for a long journey: the right shoes, plenty of hydration and food, and an accurate trail map. The first mile of the hike was relatively easy until we came to the edge of Malham Cove. I stared at four hundred steps straight up a three-hundred-foot incline to the white cliffs above me. At this point, I was tempted to turn back since I was only one mile into a five-mile hike. Half of my family was already at the top, and they shouted over the ledge, "The view is worth the effort!" I took my time so as not to trip or fall. I looked over my shoulder, and my kind son-in-law walked behind me. He is an expert hiker, so I urged him to speed up. As I huffed and puffed, he said, "Nobody in our family gets left behind." Over the next several hours, we saw spectacular views including grand vistas and beautiful waterfalls. I was also thankful that my son-in-law had an "AllTrails" app that helped us see when we were veering off the marked trail. That evening, when we got to the trail's end, we feasted and reminisced about our walk through the beauty of God's creation. A Shared Journey This fall, PCA Women’s Ministries will embark on a Made for More shared journey that will take us to eight cities around North America. It is our hope that these intergenerational conferences for young women third grade and up will just be the beginning of an ongoing conversation. We will be talking about the things that matter most surrounded by the people that matter most in our lives. We will explore big questions such as who is God, why am I here, what is my purpose, and what is my final destination on this faith journey? We hope that these questions spark conversations that will continue long after the conferences...

No One Left Behind! Made for More: A Shared Journey2024-09-05T14:39:19+00:00

Aging Graciously in an Anti-Aging Culture

ELIZABETH TURNAGE | CONTRIBUTOR Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life. (Prov. 16:31) Geriatrician Louise Aronson believes there is a “disconnect between the reality of old age and our beliefs about it.”[i] She describes society’s negative view of old age: “to look at old age and see only bodily decline, forgetting that inside the body is a fellow human being.”[ii] Aronson invites us to foster a worldview toward older adults that says: “We still see you, and we still like, love, respect, admire, and are inspired by you, both for who you were and who you are….”[iii] When older adults believe that they are seen, known, and loved, they live fully and graciously as they age. Aronson is not a Christian, and yet, her words challenge Christians to consider what it means to age graciously in an anti-aging culture. To do so, we must consider a biblical view of aging and God’s call to both the young and the old to live all of our days with the hope of glory. A Biblical View of Aging: Normalcy, Losses, and Benefits of Aging In the Bible, aging is assumed: “Aging and dying were considered to be natural, expected, even providential processes that were ordained and guided by God rather than discrete chronological stages of human development.”[iv]  Genesis 15:15 states that Abraham would be “buried in a good old age.” Psalm 90:10 proclaims that our lives are fleeting: “The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty . . . they are soon gone, and we fly away.” For this reason, we should “number our days” (v. 12), making the most of each one. While the Bible assumes that aging is natural, it doesn’t glamorize it. Ecclesiastes 12 portrays the losses of aging graphically, even dismally. Using poetic language and imagery, the author details many casualties of aging, including weak hands trembling, teeth falling out, eyesight dimming, fears worsening, and mourning and grief increasing (vv. 3, 5). Despite this suffering and loss, aging does have benefits, according to Scripture. For example, it can lead us to anticipate our heavenly dwelling more eagerly: “We know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens” (2 Cor. 5:1). In the Bible, aging also brings honor—it is an honor to be aged, and the aged are to be honored. The fifth commandment promises that honoring your father and mother leads to a lengthy life (see Ex. 20:12). Members of the church are exhorted to encourage older men and women and to honor widows (see 1 Tim. 5:1–3). Jesus rebukes the Pharisees for failing to care well for their parents (see Mark 7:9–13). According to the Bible, ageism is unacceptable. In a world that urges us to resist aging, we must recapture the biblical view of the subject. As we do so, we will learn how to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom...

Aging Graciously in an Anti-Aging Culture2024-09-12T18:02:50+00:00

Why Use a Physical Bible

.TARA GIBBS | CONTRIBUTOR Last fall, I received a text with nothing but a photo of the original, hardback, black and white English Standard Version Bible from my 23-year-old son. I replied with a single question mark. His response made me smile, “Mom, we are at Goodwill, and I saw your Bible.” Why would this text have such an effect on me? I have made more parenting mistakes than I can number, but that day, I stopped to give thanks to God that when my son sees a generic, hardback ESV Bible at Goodwill, he associates it with the impact and reality of God’s living Word in his formative years. What a picture of God’s grace. And what a reminder of the importance of God’s Word in physical form. The God who made us as physical beings allows us to touch, feel, and see His covenant love through physical words on paper. In this day where Bible access is incredibly convenient on our ever-present phones, it is easy to neglect the use of our physical Bibles. I confess my own struggle as a daily Bible-reading plan conveniently populates my inbox with clickable emails. I open the email, and a link leads me straight to a read-aloud plan with a devotional by Don Carson. What could be more convenient? I am a fan of using the audio feature to help me get through my longer Bible-readings. But there is something very personal and irreplaceable about picking up my own personal physical Bible, touching the pages, and hearing God’s faithfulness through these words for the last five decades.  “I read this promise, during this struggle, on this page in the upper, right-hand corner.” I open my Bible to a passage I memorized with my children, and pictures of God’s goodness flood my mind. There is no replacement for regular use of a physical Bible. Here are a few places and ways we can do so: Encouragement to Use a Physical Bible Use a physical Bible in your personal devotional reading whenever possible. Reading comprehension, retention, and multi-sensory connection to the reality of God’s love and presence happen in a deeper way with our physical Bibles...

Why Use a Physical Bible2024-08-26T14:53:44+00:00
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