The Mixed Messages of Welcoming and Belonging

One warm summer day, many years ago, when our youngest son Tim was a teenager, we were holding our annual “Down Syndrome Extravaganza” at our house. Most people would call it a picnic. However, “extravaganza” always seemed like a better descriptor to our family as the gathering of so many families, with so many children with Down syndrome and all of their siblings simply offered the opportunity for unexpected events to arise. We had some years that we hired neighborhood teenagers to ensure we didn’t lose any “runners” in the chaos. One year, Tim had a good friend with Down’s who was very interested in movies and proceeded to empty all 50-75 DVDs from their respective boxes, scattering them randomly all over the floor while seeking the perfect fit for his viewing interests. On another occasion, we even had a rabid racoon appear on our front porch while friends were arriving with their families and food in tow. As we’ve said many times, “It is never a dull moment here!” My favorite DSE event, however, was the year that Tim was giving tours of his room to guests as they arrived. He’d redecorated his room with Elvis Presley paraphernalia, and was eager to share his collection. Visitors were only allowed in one at a time. He even asked me to serve as his “bouncer.” I had fun standing at the door watching as Tim talked with each visitor. As one of our friends lingered in the room making conversation, Tim finally looked at him and declared, “I’m sorry Mr. Nolt, but your tour is over. Don’t make me call security.” My “bouncer role” quickly reverted to “Mom mode” and Tim and I had a quick little chat about what it means to show hospitality to our guests. Tim was definitely giving folks mixed messages. The truth is, we all give (and receive) mixed messages to (and from) others fairly frequently...

The Mixed Messages of Welcoming and Belonging2022-05-07T22:37:09+00:00

Hinged Bible Study: Unpacking the Content of the Gospel in the Context of Community

For the last twelve years, Thursday has been one of my favorite days of the week. Why, you ask? It is Women’s Bible study day. It is a day of blessed belonging. I surround myself with gospel friends who remind me who God is and what He is calling me to be from His Word. On the best days, I leave more vitally hinged to Christ, His Word, and His people. This past year I had to say goodbye to my gospel friends. As we cried and celebrated, we reflected on gospel content that only could have been learned in the context of community. C.S. Lewis said in The Four Loves, “what draws people to be friends is that they see the same truth, and they share it.” The Word of God and our walk together over all these years profoundly shaped me. Hinged Hearsay.... Maybe you had heard the buzz about Hinged. It is the name of our 2020 National Conferences (you heard it here first). It is also the name of the Women’s Bible Study on the book of Ephesians to be released January 2020. (Everyone who registers for the Hinged Conference receives a complimentary copy.) What’s in a name? A hinge is a utilitarian piece of hardware that connects two things for a useful purpose. It is hidden in the gap of a door or cabinet. When a door hinge is operational, we rarely notice, but other hinges in life are far more vital. Being vitally connected to Christ and His Church, well, that is life! Hinged Together.... I often say that I do things the most inefficient, but prayerfully, the most effective way I know how. So instead of having a single author write this study, I invited eight women to collaborate in writing this study together. This group of women from our National Women’s Ministry Team is a unified yet very diverse group of women. They live in different parts of the country. They are of different ages and races. They have unique faith stories. The churches they attend range in size from under 100 to several thousand. It is a love for Christ and His Church that unites them. The book also contains 12 unique stories from women just like you who are seeking to apply the truth of God’s Word right where they live. And when you add up these 20 women you see a picture of the Bride...and she is radiant!...

Hinged Bible Study: Unpacking the Content of the Gospel in the Context of Community2022-05-07T22:48:43+00:00

Not Just Another Haunted House Story

As my husband and I made progress in our homeschooling journey, like most parents, we read and read and read some more. We noticed words that kept showing up, words like “reformed” and “covenant” and “sovereignty.” Who were these people who baptized their babies? Was it possible that Christianity went back farther than Billy Graham and encompassed more than our non-denominational Bible church? We kept reading. Providentially, (oh how I’ve grown to love that word!), the Lord brought me a homeschooling friend who answered many of my questions. Although she lived across town, it turns out she attended a small PCA church in my neighborhood. And we had mutual friends who attended the same church and they invited us into their home and answered even more questions. We kept reading.  Authors like R.C. Sproul and Michael Horton and G.I. Williamson started to fill our shelves. A New House Those bookshelves started to overflow! We joked that after twelve years and five children, our little “starter home” had certainly gotten us off to a great start! Thankfully we found a larger house the next subdivision over. When we excitedly showed the pictures to our friends at church, the first thing they said was “Oh! That’s the E’s old house. They are wonderful people and they went to…” Guess where? That same neighborhood PCA church. It seemed the E’s had left their mark on more than just the stenciled nursery walls. Joshua 24:15 was permanently attached to the front doorway.  I already loved this house. This two-story red brick, with its friendly kitchen and ample laundry room was going to be just perfect...

Not Just Another Haunted House Story2022-05-07T23:00:12+00:00

On Choosing a Church in College: PK Version

I distinctly remember my first Sunday morning in college. I was 15 hours away from home, far from my family and from the church that my dad planted and pastored for most of my life. I was a PK (pastor’s kid), and for the first time in my life, I had to choose where I was going to go to church. Suddenly, I realized that I hadn’t ever actually stopped to think about why I went to church or what kind of church I should attend. I simply went where my dad was pastoring. I found myself paralyzed by the choices and a little over my head with the decision. Ministering on a college campus has revealed that I wasn’t the only pastor’s kid to feel this way. While seeing the church from the perspective of a PK is a beautiful and complicated thing, sometimes we assume that transitioning to a new church is second nature just because that’s the world we grew up in. But often, it’s harder than we think. You’re not alone, and it’s okay. Here are some thoughts about going to church in college as a PK. Seven Things to Consider as You Look for a Church Home First, go. It’s not uncommon to start reviewing values you grew up with when you leave home. It’s also normal for PKs to feel a sense of freedom from the proverbial fishbowl when they go away for college. It’s tempting to want to sleep in or skip church for a while. After all, you probably never had those options growing up. But, let me encourage you to make going to church a priority. Don’t skip just because you can and feel like it. It will be harder to get back into the rhythm later. If you must bask in a newfound freedom, sit in the back row. Second, don’t be discouraged if you don’t feel “known” right away...

On Choosing a Church in College: PK Version2022-05-07T23:12:22+00:00

Running Life’s Marathon with Our Soul Sisters

I trained for my first marathon in a month and was surprised to finish. Each year, as soon as the spring breeze has a hint of warmth, I find myself looking through my closet and hoping my clothes will fasten over my once-hibernating body. This was how I returned to my running routine; I wanted to feel healthy and make sure my shorts fit.I joined a local running group. Each morning, a crew of women gather at the break of dawn, tie shoelaces, strap on water bottles, and light up safety gear to hit the trails. I joined them on the unfamiliar course in my old Target attire and tread-less shoes. As we sweated through each step, I quickly learned that every single woman was training for an upcoming race. Running with “Sole Sisters”After a few weeks of running with and learning from this band of “sole sisters,” I increased my mileage. I began thinking about signing up for a race too. As I researched various races, on a whim, I also entered my name into a Facebook contest I came across for an upcoming marathon. I entered it because I thought I could win an entry for a friend who had told me she wanted to sign up but couldn’t do so for financial reasons. When I won, my friend told me she had already registered, so the opportunity was all mine. The next morning, I woke up at 4 am, joined some friends who had been training all summer, and with trepidation, ran 18 miles to see if a marathon was even realistic. We were up so early that within the first five minutes, we startled a sleeping deer! For the next five hours, my friends to me about the essentials of marathon running: pacing, fueling, and gear.I returned home with a wobble and exhilarated I completed the run. I was also salty, sore, hungry, and fearful I would need to buy so many new things to manage the long race. I shared with my husband the list. Since our budget was tight, we prayed.Later that day, the running company who had said I won an entry in the marathon contacted me to tell me that they were mistaken; they did not have a free registration to giveaway. The race would actually cost $175. To be honest, I was a bit relieved, even as my aching muscles seemed to groan aloud. As the news settled in, I messaged my friends who spent the morning traipsing all around the county with me. They were dismayed. They had been so instrumental in getting me through each step of those 18 miles. Within a few hours, I was notified that they paid my entry fee. I was so touched by their kindness and enthusiasm!

Running Life’s Marathon with Our Soul Sisters2022-05-07T23:26:28+00:00

The Cross Centered Life: How We Love One Another Matters

SARAH IVILL|CONTRIBUTOR "My feet aren’t going to know what to do with someone handling them so gently. Usually the aides are in such a hurry, they just shove the shoes and socks on my feet.” As I slid knee-highs on Doris, an elderly woman who lived at the same retirement center I lived and worked at for free rent as a seminary student, I was overwhelmed that she’d allow me to look at her feet and get so close to them. They smelled awful and her toenails were a dark yellow from age, but she wasn’t embarrassed. As I cared for her, I couldn’t help but think of Jesus washing His disciples’ feet in John 13. “When he had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, “Do you understand what I have done to you? You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you. Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them” (John 13:12-17).

The Cross Centered Life: How We Love One Another Matters2022-05-07T23:52:58+00:00

Are You a Bucket Filler?

PATSY KUIPERS|GUEST Most Mondays and Wednesdays find me at daughter Mary’s house. As 1pm draws nigh, I start herding 7-year-old Joshua and 2-year-old Emma toward the car so we can pick almost-5-year-old Lyla up from pre-school. Depending on the number of distraction-produced detours they take, the process can last anywhere from 5 to 15 minutes. Likewise, the drive to school and back may be filled with enthusiastic commentary on the scenes passing by or with shrieks of “Grammie, tell (insert sibling’s name) not to look at/touch/talk to me!!!” Yes, the trek to retrieve Lyla from school and return home safely is often the most stressful part of my day. But a couple of Mondays ago, the events surrounding our mid-day trip were decidedly pleasant. As soon as Lyla and her teacher exited the building, Joshua, exclaimed, “Lyla’s got the bucket! She’s kid of the day!!” And so she was. As Lyla climbed aboard and buckled up for the ride home, we all started talking excitedly. Congratulatory remarks blended with curious queries regarding the contents of her bucket. Several pieces of candy, a stencil, a super-cool, light-up pen, a certificate declaring her kid-of-the-day, and two books resided inside. Joshua read the books to us after lunch. They were all about how we fill or empty each other’s imaginary buckets by being kind or being mean. Furthermore, the books pointed out we’re doing one or the other all the time.

Are You a Bucket Filler?2022-05-07T23:59:56+00:00
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