Parenting

At the Start of a New School Year

JAMYE DOERFLER | CONTRIBUTOR Seven years ago, when my family moved to a new city, we had a drastic change to our children’s schooling. My three boys had been enrolled in a teeny Christian school with an excellent curriculum and godly teachers. I served on the PTA and spent many hours in the school planning fundraisers and running the book fair. Our family loved both the education our kids received and the environment in which they received it. Then, we had an opportunity to plant a church in a new city. As we were praying for God’s leading in this possibility, I distinctly remember having a strong sense from the Spirit that said, “You’re going to plant a church, and your kids are going to the public school.” I myself had only attended parochial schools and then went to a Christian college, so I felt some trepidation about this idea. And yet I felt confident that this was from the Lord. In fact, I knew it was God’s will because it was not what I otherwise would have chosen! Plus, it made sense logically: if we were to be missionaries in a new place, we needed to be part of the community in a meaningful way, and we needed to be where non-Christians were. Still, it was heart wrenching to say goodbye. I had watched my oldest son thrive in the Christian school for six years, but our younger two were only just beginning, and it made me sad for them to miss out on what he’d experienced. On the last day of school, one month before we were to move, I was a blubbering mess of tears as I circled the parking lot one final time. And what a fearsome thing awaited us! My oldest son would be switching from a class of 6 to a class of 225 in seventh grade. And in middle school—the scariest age of all! On top of that, he’s never been like everyone else. He marches to the beat of his own drum. I mean, this was a kid who wore three watches on his wrist for no apparent reason at all. What would a bunch of public school kids think? The first day of school, I was terrified. I was sure he would be bullied. As the day ended, I stood at the end of my driveway peering up the street like the father of the prodigal son, desperate to see my child return safely. Finally, I saw him. There were no visible bruises. His hair did not appear to have been flushed in the toilet. Maybe he was…okay? “How did it go?” I asked when he arrived. Completely nonplussed, he replied, “It was good.”...

At the Start of a New School YearChristina Fox2024-08-14T13:39:19+00:00

Encouragement for Moms During the Busy Holiday Season

LISA UPDIKE | GUEST The holidays. The smell of cinnamon wafts through the air. Families gather around our tables. Smiles, laughter, and music. Our hearts fill with excitement and, and…. Oh, let’s just admit it! Our hearts fill with a sense of panic! There is so much pressure heaped upon us, especially women. You must make great grandma’s corn recipe for Thanksgiving and then endure hearing how it’s not quite the same as hers. You must have a perfectly decorated house, mantel overflowing with the figurines passed down from your husband’s family. You must create wonderful memories and uphold all the family traditions. Shop, wrap, smile, go to every activity, don’t gain weight, and make sure everyone is happy. It’s simply exhausting! Isn’t this supposed to be the “hap-happiest season of all”? Well, yes. It is. The holiday season: Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the New Year. Each one really is cause for “good cheer.” Taking time to be thankful to our heavenly Father, rejoicing in the arrival of the long promised Savior, and pausing to consider what God has done in the past year while looking forward to His continued work in the new, are actually really good things to celebrate. Our hearts ought to be lifted! So, let’s take a step back and figure out where all this pressure is coming from, put it in its rightful place, and lay hold of the joy that the Lord has for us in this season!...

Encouragement for Moms During the Busy Holiday SeasonChristina Fox2023-11-25T16:12:56+00:00

For the Mom Dropping Her Student Off at College

STEPHANIE FORMENTI|CONTRIBUTOR There is excitement in the air. Soon, I will join the rest of my colleagues in welcoming new students to campus as they begin their college career. It’s a celebratory day for faculty and staff—after all, these new students are the reason we are here. It’s an exciting season of life for college students. But I have witnessed enough move-in days to know that it’s not always as singularly joyful on the parent side of things. And for good reason. Leaving your student behind is scary, uncertain, and maybe even disorienting. It goes against every instinct we have as moms. So, how do we navigate these emotions in a way that is faithful and helpful for our son or daughter? While Scripture doesn’t have a chapter devoted to dropping a student off at college, we do find a story about a woman who walked through similar emotions when she left her child at the temple. Granted, the situations are very different, but the story of Hannah in 1 Samuel provides a helpful way forward for moms dealing with these big emotions. First, Hannah maintains perspective. In 1 Samuel 1, we get a sense of Hannah’s deep desire for a child, and we see her persistent prayer for a son. It is gut-wrenching in its depiction. She longs to hold a baby in her arms and to experience the blessing of motherhood. But she also remembers that ultimately any child she is given belongs to the Lord (1:11, 22, 28). This truth works itself out through her actions. Using our sanctified imaginations, we can picture the scene in all its emotion—the tears, the sweaty palms, the pit in her stomach—as she takes Samuel to the temple and leaves him there. She does so because she knows that Samuel belongs to the Lord; it is the best place for her sweet son to be...

For the Mom Dropping Her Student Off at CollegeChristina Fox2023-08-15T13:14:10+00:00

God is Near: Certain Comfort for Moms

LISA UPDIKE|GUEST I walked into Walmart thinking about purchasing a watermelon and salad greens to create a nice, fresh summer meal. I pushed my sunglasses up on my head and proceeded through the route I always take: through the seasonal and sale stuff (just in case there is something good) and then past the candles, women’s clothes, and straight to the produce. Walking my route, I was taken aback. Where the sunscreen had been showcased just last week stood huge displays of glue sticks, pencils, markers, and crayons. Excuse me, Mr. Manager; don’t you know I haven’t even gone on my summer vacation? It is certainly not time to think about school yet! Still, no matter how frustrated I might get with the early arrival of school supplies in my store’s aisles, the new school year is just around the corner, and mothers everywhere are preparing their hearts for the new school year—homeschoolers, Christian schoolers, and public schoolers alike. A Fear We All Have Felt In my role as the Director of Children’s Ministries at my church, I’m privy to the thoughts of many mothers. As moms think about “back to school,” one emotion keeps bubbling to the surface over and over. I hear it in their voices, in the questions they ask, and the conversations they have. It’s not a pretty emotion. It’s one that can sometimes paralyze us. Fear. We’ve all felt it. Moms are afraid of the task of raising children in today’s culture. When kids are home with us all summer and activities are more family based, that fear slips into the recesses for a bit. But the thought of sending our kids out again to interact with others at school, sports, even our homeschool co-ops, means exposure where we might not have control over what comes in...

God is Near: Certain Comfort for MomsChristina Fox2024-06-21T19:11:03+00:00

Passing on an Eternal Legacy

RACHEL CRADDOCK|CONTRIBUTOR I love traditions. I can be persnickety when it comes to the execution of my precious practices and rituals. One Thanksgiving, my brother, who is a very talented chef, fancied up the cranberries. His adding to the traditional recipe sent me into a frenzy—and I cried. However, my love of traditions has mostly had a positive impact in my family life. There are several ways I created traditions for my four children: back-to-school photos on the front porch; family-themed Halloween costumes; March Madness bracket challenges; listening to a state-line songs on road trips, and pizza on paper plates in pajamas when my husband has a late meeting—just to name a few. The natural cadence of life in our home is bolstered by such traditions. As much as I cherish my traditions—which I assume as women we all love to create lasting memories with our children—traditions like that back-to-school photo on the front porch this fall will (perhaps) leave a lasting legacy; however, the traditions which we tend to fuss over while our children are in our homes will not extend into eternity. Reader, I am going to be honest with you here: I am human, both wretched and redeemed. Like the Israelites in the wilderness, my heart is prone to wander, and I am distracted by light and momentary afflictions. But God is faithful to keep me on the course. When it comes to being a parent, my love of earthly traditions can hinder me from being intentional to pass on the most integral and eternal tradition I have the privilege of passing on to my children— passing on the truth of who God is to His covenant people...

Passing on an Eternal LegacyChristina Fox2023-08-15T13:17:49+00:00

Raising Little Image Bearers

TARA GIBBS|CONTRIBUTOR “It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship…,” C.S. Lewis.[1] My husband and I parented four children, and I’ll confess this may not be the quote that comes most quickly to my mind from those years. But as I meditate upon the lessons that stand out the most, I am more and more convinced how foundational Genesis 1:26-28 is to godly parenting: Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. (Genesis 1:26-27) I think my early parenting was often shaped by the unexamined thought, “Look at this small person I have made and will shape into my perfect-parenting-book-inspired image!” Parenting advice floods into our lives from every conceivable direction, and it is impossible not to feel the pressure to produce kids that measure up to the blogs, the books, and the well-coifed verse-reciters quietly sitting in front of us on Sunday. Stewards of God’s Image Bearers We long for the Bible to give us clear steps on how to produce wonderful children. But what if instead of looking for step-by-step instructions, we zoomed out to the bigger picture from Genesis 1:26-28 of what God has crafted—if we remind ourselves, “I have been given the charge to steward an eternal being, distinctly crafted by God to display His Image to this world and act as His ambassador on this earth?” For God not only made man and woman in His image, He immediately tasked those image-bearers with very practical instructions to steward His earth. And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” (Genesis 1:28) Parenting is part of your and my fulfillment of the Genesis 1:28 mandate to be fruitful ambassadors of God’s goodness to the world around us both directly, and by training smaller, novice ambassadors. To do this, we must pay attention to whom we are stewarding. These image-bearers are not one-size-fits-all. Psalm 139 tells us God knitted each of us together in our mother’s womb fearfully and wonderfully. We are each God’s distinct workmanship created in Christ Jesus for work He has prepared (Eph. 2:10). To parent well, we must ask ourselves the question, “How did God wonderfully form this particular child to reflect His goodness, beauty, and truth on this earth?” Does this mean we let our children set their own rules and find their own ways? Should the passions of their little hearts guide our parenting decisions? I think you know the answer. Scripture tells us “folly is bound up in the heart of a child” (Proverbs 22:15), the “heart is deceitful” (Jer. 17:9), and all are born in sin. Sin has distorted and obscured God’s image in us. But by His grace, we are not left with only our Genesis 1 mandate. Believers are given another title...

Raising Little Image BearersChristina Fox2023-09-23T13:22:06+00:00

God’s Transforming Work in the Life of Our Sons

JESSICA ROAN|GUEST If there’s one subject I know a lot about, it’s teenage boys. I had only one brother, only male cousins my age, a male best friend, am raising two sons, and am surrounded by them daily in my high school classroom. Boys can be rambunctious, funny, squirmy, hot-headed, sensitive, and sometimes complicated. For some of us, parenting or mentoring teen boys feels frightening, like trying to tame a tornado you can’t even track. And yet, when I listen to the woes of other boy-moms or fellow teachers, I find myself smiling. Not because the challenges they face aren’t serious or concerning at times, but because I have seen the other side. My own father, my husband, and numerous past students were all once teen boys whom people were very concerned about. Were the concerns valid? Yes. Will I have many concerns about my own sons and future students? Absolutely. But I have seen God transform even the most challenging teen boy into hard working, loyal, sincere men, and yes, into men after his own heart. God Loves Making Immature Boys into Godly Men He was young and insignificant, so unimpressive that his father didn’t even consider him when Samuel came to call. The prophet was looking for a king, and David couldn’t possibly be it. He was too small, too young, and not strong enough for a job like that. While Samuel observed the sons of Jesse, “ . . . the Lord said to Samuel, ’Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart’” (1 Sam. 16:7). By God’s power, David kept Saul subdued with the sound of a lyre and defeated Goliath with a slingshot and stone....

God’s Transforming Work in the Life of Our SonsChristina Fox2023-08-15T13:21:29+00:00

Summertime Discipleship with Your Family

LISA UPDIKE|GUEST “Summertime and the livin’ is easy…” Well, that’s how the song goes anyway. Although I’m not quite sure that summer is all that easy for a mom with kids wanting to go to the pool, have a friend over, visit the park, and build forts in the woods, I do realize that summer is a more flexible time of the year. The long, unscheduled days present opportunities to engage in fun activities, making special memories as a family. That’s what we love about summer, isn’t it? Although my kids are grown, I know that I treasure our picture albums full of smiling, sun kissed faces squinting into the sun next to carefully constructed sand castles. Summertime “easy livin’” also presents us with numerous opportunities to engage our children with the gospel, and that is even more precious than a well-crafted memory album! Memorize Scripture Together Because summer offers a reprieve from the rigors of schoolwork, it is an excellent season to start a Bible verse memory program for your whole family! Choose a verse or passage to learn. Introduce it to the family during dinner, discussing what it means and how it applies to life. As a family, choose an award. Perhaps this could be a trip to the ice-cream parlor, an outing to the lake, or a night by the fire-pit toasting marshmallows for s’mores. Anything can work as long as everyone agrees. Then start memorizing, just a few words at a time, adding to them daily. Have the kids make posters with your family verse, and tape them up on the fridge, in the bathroom, and on your doors. Say it together in the car, in the morning, before bed, or at random times during the day. Once you’ve all learned it, enjoy your reward! You could even make a goal to memorize several passages and have a great big end of summer celebration!...

Summertime Discipleship with Your FamilyChristina Fox2023-08-15T13:24:03+00:00

Parenting in the Age of LGBTQ+

KELLY URBON|GUEST An “age” is a cultural period marked by the prominence of a particular item or a particular way of understanding the world. By that definition, our current cultural moment certainly represents a new age with respect to identity, sexuality, and gender. Never before have sexuality and gender been so persistently centered, and so drastically redefined. The numbers related to this change can be a bit shocking. According to a recent Gallup poll, the number of individuals who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or by some description other than heterosexual and cisgender, doubled from 2012 to 2021. By far the biggest change is seen in those who have come of age as a member of Gen Z. A surprising 20% of those born between 1997 and 2003 self-identify as LGBTQ+. Given these statistics, it is no surprise that there has been an enormous increase in the number of parents who have a child sit down with them to reveal that they are gay, bisexual, nonbinary, trans or queer, to name a few. Many parents struggle to respond. Especially for parents whose firm theological convictions are in conflict with outright acceptance of these identities, this part of the parenting journey can be especially challenging. While there are no cookie cutter responses sufficient to meet all of the questions and tasks before these parents, the following are a few suggestions that will lay a basic foundation for a godly response. Cultivate compassion and patience Several months ago I came across a quote by Christian author Tim Challies. It has become a foundational principle in my current parenting. Challies wrote, “Remember that your children are sinners who are beset by the fierce enemies of the world, the flesh, and the devil. Be gentle with them and have pity for them. Don’t be yet another enemy to them.” Colossians 3:12 immediately comes to mind: “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.”...

Parenting in the Age of LGBTQ+Christina Fox2023-08-15T13:25:51+00:00

Wisdom of the World vs. Wisdom of the Word

LISA UPDIKE|GUEST Everything is beautiful in its own way!... Never say I can’t; always say I’ll try…..If the sun doesn’t shine, create your own rainbows…..Throw kindness around like confetti….Be true to yourself….Follow your dreams….Dream big!....You can be anything you want to be… Inspirational quotes. They’re everywhere! On little kids’ t-shirts, bumper stickers, water bottles, journal covers, and classroom walls. They sound so witty. Clever. Like little pearls of wisdom. Good slogans by which to live your life. “Yes! I WILL follow my heart, try harder, and shoot for the stars! I can be whoever I dream I can be, and love IS LOVE!” Written in rainbow colors, with butterflies adorning the borders, this “wisdom of the world” beckons to our children. It can be quite confusing. Sometimes these slogans can be true; other times they can be outright lies. Often they are lies hiding right next to truth, subtle in their deceit. That is what makes them so dangerous for our children. Lies parading as wisdom. Teach the Truth There is only one true source for wisdom, and that source is God as revealed to us in His Word. However, ever since the events of Genesis 3, we are prone to seek wisdom from other places. How can we guard our children, teaching them to discern the truth from the lie? Simply put, we must teach our children the truth. How do I know that 2+2 does not equal five? Because I was taught how to count. If you counted out two things and had two more, you kept counting. That is adding. I learned this by grouping beads. I learned by counting on my fingers. It never varies. Two things plus two more always makes a total of four. You can’t convince me that 2+2=5 just by putting it on a pretty poster. Even if all my classmates say 2+2=5, I still won’t believe it, because I KNOW the truth! We do the same with God’s Word. We teach it to our children by rote (like we learn to count). We tell them what the Bible says. We share with them the wonderful stories. We memorize Scripture. Just like I held and manipulated those counting beads, we let our children experience and interact with what God says in His Word. This gives them a foundation of truth. They learn what kindness is, and respect, honor, and obedience. They learn about repentance and sin. They know God’s Word because we are living it with them...

Wisdom of the World vs. Wisdom of the WordChristina Fox2023-08-15T13:37:13+00:00