REBEKAH COCHELL|GUEST

The young soldier sitting across the desk from my husband was around 20 years old. He was tall and thin with a foreboding look on his face. He was a little uncomfortable as he had never talked to a counselor before and had never been to church. He was an atheist.

Yet, there he was, sitting across from a Christian chaplain, an ordained minister in the Presbyterian Church of America.  He had recently run into some trouble and his commander sent him to speak to the chaplain. By the time the counseling session ended, the young man had a relaxed smile on his face. He came back regularly for counseling. Curious about Christianity, he asked many questions, and they had some deep theological conversations. He became the type of soldier who noticed when other soldiers were struggling or in any type of trouble and encouraged them to go to “Chap” for counseling.

This is a typical experience in my husband’s ministry as a military chaplain.

A Glimpse into the Life and Ministry of the Military Chaplaincy

I am writing this post to give a glimpse into the ministry and life of military chaplains and their families. And so that you know how to pray for them. Before my husband became a chaplain, (ten years ago) I had no idea how different the military culture was, nor anything about what chaplains do. Additionally, I had no clue how this job would affect our family.

This calling is different than a pastor or missionary. Yes, some of the duties are the same. A military chaplain preaches in the chapel, conducts funerals and memorial services, and marries soldiers.  But, during the week, he supports the command team and takes care of soldiers. He updates the commander on the training events he has planned or has taught. He advices the commander on the ethical implications of his decisions. He leads and teaches relationship building events, marriage retreats, and training for financial responsibility, suicide awareness, and personal resiliency. He answers calls on the suicide hotline. He counsels soldiers concerning just about every issue under the sun. His soldiers are from every faith group and ethnicity. His job is not to proselytize, but to support the soldiers and protect their religious rights. However, these interactions offer many opportunities to pray with soldiers and converse about Christianity. It is tiring and emotionally draining, yet very rewarding.

The military culture is unique and surrounds every aspect of family life. The chaplain family moves every two years (sometimes less and sometimes more) causing the children to be uprooted from friends and activities. We have moved five times during the past ten years. Deployments and training cause the family to be separated at length. We have endured two deployments. At the time, our three kids were teenagers. Extended family is often far away.  We have never lived closer than a thousand miles away from our parents and siblings. Many wives who have careers must put those on hold, as some military posts do not have the job opportunities that their degrees or expertise make them suitable for.

These are struggles that affect the wife and children, yet the shared experiences help strengthen the bonds of family members. My children learned quickly how to make new friends and authentic connections. Their shared experiences bonded them to each other, and they are close friends. The constant moving has been exciting for me as I love to explore new places and cultures, but it is not easy saying goodbye to friends. Despite the pain of leaving friends, I am thankful for the opportunity to meet so many wonderful people. This past summer, three women who I consider to be my sisters and forever friends, have moved away. But these are the friends, who despite the brevity of our time together, will remain close, despite the distance.

How You Can Pray for Chaplains and Their Families

One of the aspects we miss is the community of a PCA church. During the past ten years, we have never lived close to one. However, we have been encouraged by the prayer support that churches have given us. In the words of Paul: “I appeal to you, brothers, by our Lord Jesus Christ and by the love of the Spirit, to strive together with me in your prayers to God on my behalf” (Romans 15:30).

How can you support the PCA chaplains specifically?

• Pray for the chaplain’s ministry to soldiers. This is a unique position, and he has opportunities to be a light to many who have never been in church.
• Pray for the family. Pray that the children can find good friends wherever they go, especially friends that love Jesus.
• Pray for the marriage. The extensive hours of work, the deployments, and the constant moving all can impact the relationship.
• Pray even more if the chaplain is deployed. Yes, pray for the chaplain’s safety but pray for the family too. I cannot tell you how difficult it is being separated for so long. The physical distance and time difference can lead to communication issues and relationship problems. When the chaplain comes back home, you would think everything would be great… a honeymoon. But those 9-15 months of separation need to be repaired. No one told me the first time that the homecoming would be just as difficult as the deployment.

Handwritten letters or emails of encouragement are greatly appreciated. I have seen that just a short note saying “we prayed for you today” lift my husband’s spirits.

I hope that this gave a glimpse, or perhaps a bird’s eye view, of chaplain ministry. Yes, there are struggles and we covet your prayers, but it is a wonderful ministry that has great potential for the Kingdom of Christ.

Photo by Jessica Rockowitz on Unsplash