MARISSA BONDURANT | GUEST
She stood next to me one Sunday with tears streaming down her cheeks. Without looking at her, I gave her arm a squeeze. Both our faces were up; both of us were singing loudly. But I was singing of God’s faithfulness with a new baby strapped to my body, and she was singing of God’s faithfulness with the stinging news of another failed IVF treatment.
In my heart I wondered, “How is my friend doing it? If I were in her shoes, there is no way I’d be able to sing to the Lord this morning.”
Suffering Well
Have you ever had a similar thought? Have you ever watched a fellow believer suffer well and wondered how she did it?
It might help to define “suffering well.” To suffer well is to suffer like Jesus. To acknowledge the real pain and sorrow of the experience, while simultaneously holding on to the hope that the pain will not last forever. Before he went to the cross, Jesus was honest with his Father about his pain – asking God to “let this cup pass from me” (Matt 26:39). Then his prayer moved directly into hope and trust, “nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will” (Matt 26:39).
My friend who sang praises to the Lord in the middle of heartache was not ignoring her pain. She was pleading with God to make her a mom, but she also held onto God’s promise to make beauty from ashes (Isaiah 61:3). Perhaps hardest of all, she trusted that God’s version of beauty would be better than any version she could imagine.
When I looked at my friend and thought, “how is she doing it?” I asked an honest question. But I missed the truths from Lamentations 3:22-23:
“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”
The Love and Mercies of the Lord Never Cease
Underneath our questions about where our friend is getting her strength are two assumptions:
- At some point God stops giving, and we must do the rest on our own; and/or
- There is a finite amount of God’s love and mercy to go around.
Scripture refutes both assumptions. First, God’s word tells us that it is by grace that we are saved, and it is by grace that we can walk through the sufferings that are before us (Ephesians 2:8-10).
Romans 11:6 says that if we throw our own efforts into the equation then grace is no longer grace. We don’t “do the rest.” We rest in Jesus, whose work on the cross freed us to lean wholly on God’s love and mercy to see us through our sufferings.
Scripture is also clear that God’s love and mercy are infinite. Pick any character in the Bible and you will see a story of sin, failure, and messiness into which God wove his thread of love and mercy. He never runs out of mercy; his well of love never runs dry.
When we watch our friend singing praises to the Lord during suffering, we aren’t seeing her pulling herself up by her bootstraps. Nor are we seeing the last drop of God’s mercy being doled out. We are seeing the work of the Holy Spirit in her life – overwhelming her with God’s good gifts.
The Gifts of the Lord Are New Every Morning
In Exodus, God fed the Israelites “manna” by raining down the exact portions they needed each morning. God was very specific that they needed to trust in him for their daily bread (Exodus 16:16-18).
Likewise, God’s mercy is new every morning. It is doled out in proportion to what we will face that day. The harder the day, the greater the dose of his mercy.
Perhaps it felt awe inspiring to me because she had been given more mercy than me that morning. It was as if I was watching a marathon runner eat a breakfast of eggs, toast, oatmeal, fruit, and chocolate milk, while all I had eaten was a banana. I could either be shocked at how much more the runner received than me. Or I could understand that we had both been given exactly what we needed to get through our day.
God knew just how much mercy my friend needed to endure a church service surrounded by pregnant women, babies crying, and large families. And he gave her the marathoner’s breakfast of mercy that morning.
Mercy of God Revealed
A couple of years later, it was our family’s turn to receive God’s abundant mercies. As we held our cancer ridden daughter in the back of the church service and sang to the Lord with tears streaming down our cheeks, we were the ones needing to be held up by Jesus.
But I knew God would sustain us. I knew his faithfulness would endure. I had watched my sisters in the Lord suffer well. I had seen God sustain them, minister to them, and enable them to sing his praises with tear filled eyes. So, I knew he would sustain us too.
In the good days, sing loud with confidence that you’ll also be able to sing on the hard days. For your sister’s suffering is pointing you to the deeper mercies of God.
About the Author:
Marissa Bondurant
Marissa and her husband Rob are members of Redeemer Presbyterian Church in San Antonio, Texas. They have four girls ages 9, 7, 4, and 1. Having walked through childhood cancer with her second daughter, Marissa now seeks out ways to comfort others with the gospel comfort she received. She writes for Christian Parents of Kids with Cancer, as well as on her own website: www.marissabondurant.com. When she’s not writing, wrangling her strong-willed girls, or keeping up with Rob’s endless energy – she can be found water coloring, walking with friends, or just reading a book in peace.