KRISTINE SUNG
As I stare at the computer screen, writing this blog, I hear the thoughts scroll through my brain. “What are you doing? You’re not a writer. Do you really have anything worthwhile to say? Wouldn’t it be better just to play on your phone?” This, my friends, is a glimpse of my inner critic. It can be so bossy. Critical. Impatient. It’s like a toddler.
Perhaps you can relate. Scientists estimate humans have 6,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Many thoughts go unnoticed. Yet others we hyperfocus on. When we stop to listen to our thoughts, we don’t tend to hear a ton of ‘atta girl’ thoughts, nor do they naturally conform to truth of the gospel. Sadly, more often than we realize, our behavior marches to the beat of their drum.
A Look at Psalm 103
Thankfully, this is not a modern problem. In the Psalms, David often reveals how he deals with his own inner critic. Take a look at Psalm 103. As you begin to read the psalm, you see right away David giving instruction to his own inner critic, which he refers to as “his soul.” He tells himself to “Bless the Lord, O my soul” and “not to forget all his benefits.”
We don’t know what David was struggling with when he wrote these words. But when he tells himself not to forget, it is likely he is doing just that, forgetting. I know my toddler-like inner critic is often forgetful. While I know that I am not and will never be perfect, nor is there any hope in me to save myself, my inner thoughts easily forget that. And it doesn’t want to think about God and His benefits; rather, it often focuses on unrealistic expectations of myself. And it is quick to point out how often I don’t meet those expectations.
Perhaps David was experiencing the same. Think about the responsibilities David carried, on top of the sins that he committed. The combined weight of those could be crushing to any human being. I am overwhelmed with my own responsibilities, and they are nothing in comparison to being king of the Lord’s chosen nation. Nor do I have to overcome the guilt and shame of murder and adultery as David did. So, if my own critic can bring me down, imagine how easily his critic could find ways to condemn him. Therefore, speaking to his own soul, David directs himself to intentionally focus on the Lord and His benefits. And to do this with “all that is within himself.”
Look to the Lord
I love to play tennis. Sometimes in the heat of a match, my inner critic can creep up and say “Don’t mess up. Hit a winner! Keep the ball in the court!” One coach told me, that when I hear those thoughts pop up, to look intently at the seams of the tennis ball. This instruction gives my brain a specific task to focus on and takes my mind’s attention away from the ‘don’t mess up thoughts.’ When I’m focused on watching the seams of the ball, I am more in the moment, and able to let my body do what it has practiced doing countless times. As a result, my performance is better, and the game is a lot more fun when I’m not listening to that bossy voice in my brain demanding performance.
I share this tennis tip, because it’s what I see David is doing in this psalm. He is not asking why he is having these thoughts. Nor is he directing himself to pay attention to them. Rather he is redirecting his focus from his own shortcomings and anxieties to looking intently at God and all of His blessings. And just like focusing on the seams of the tennis ball helps me stay in the moment on the court, focusing on God’s benefits can help us silence the inner critic and focus on our attention on the real game changer in our life: the Lord. Isn’t life far more manageable when we remember that we are taken care of by our Heavenly Father?
After all, look at the list that David shares throughout the psalm. He recounts God’s forgiveness, healing, redemption, steadfast love, satisfaction, renewal, righteousness, justice, grace, compassion, understanding, mercy, healing, and steadfast love. He reminds himself that God knows his frame, that he is dust. That his Father is compassionate. Think how soothing and renewing these reminders would be for David in his life and position. A necessary balm to his soul that grounds and equips him to face the role that God gave him.
This can be a daily battle, sometimes minute by minute. When the inner critic is having a fit, criticizing, or impatient, take a minute. Redirect your thoughts to God and His blessings. Read, memorize, and meditate on this psalm. Whatever you have done, or whatever you are facing, it is not too much for God. There is nothing He hasn’t forgiven and His steadfast love provides all that you need. The same God who sustained and equipped David is with you today. His grasp is firm, and He won’t let go.
Life inside our own heads can be a battle but we are not alone in the struggle. We all have that mean, bossy voice in our heads. But don’t forget! God’s love, forgiveness, mercy, and compassion is greater than any inner condemnation we feel. By focusing on Him, we can quiet the inner critic and live in the freedom and joy He intends for us.
Photo by Catalin Sandru on Unsplash
