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Pastor Appreciation Month: Show and Tell

TARA GIBBS | CONTRIBUTOR Sometimes church members seek to show their care for their pastor with “helpful” tips and advice like, “Let me tell you how to fix your sermon. You preached too long/too short/too much grace/too much law/ with boring illustrations, etc. etc.” Or, “Let me help you know why I am upset because you didn’t call me enough… fix my marriage… heal my broken family…” And that “helpful” feedback isn’t restricted to the pastor himself. It extends into pastoral families as well with comments like, “Your children are too fidgety in worship. Here’s how to fix that.” Or even insights we share with one another and not to our pastoral family’s faces like, “Did you see his wife’s sweater has a stain on it?” Or “Did you see the length of his daughter’s skirt?” Or “Is that too nice of a car for a pastor’s family?” As a longtime pastor’s wife, I have a bookshelf filled with titles ranging from Windows in a Glass House to Help! I’m Married to My Pastor! to She Can’t Even Play the Piano, and perhaps most eye-catching of them all: I Quit! All four of our children offered concerned queries when they saw me reading that last title! What does it mean to care for those who live in glass houses, don’t always preach perfect sermons, and perhaps have fidgety kids, but who are nonetheless called to shepherd the flock? We know our pastoral families are frail humans in need of grace and support just like we are. But in daily practice, it can be easy to start applying a different scale to ministry families. Perhaps Pastor Appreciation Month is a good time to prayerfully consider how to apply Paul’s words in Hebrews 13:17, “Obey your leaders and submit to them for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning...”...

Pastor Appreciation Month: Show and Tell2023-09-21T19:32:08+00:00

Working Together Across Gender in the Church

HOLLY MACKLE|CONTRIBUTOR When my pastor, Bob Flayhart, asked me to help adapt his life sermon into a book, my immediate wash of excitement quickly turned to a flood of fear. In my experience, it’s hard not to dignify any relational conflicts that arise in inter-gender work with a weight they should never carry. This feels especially constraining in the body of Christ, where an often unspoken sense of higher stakes in working together betrays an underlying level of disunity in the church. As such, I imagined all the ways working alongside Bob could go terribly wrong—all the scenarios in which I could disappoint, frustrate, or annoy him. I spoke my hesitation to a friend who wisely didn’t quash it, but rather turned the tables to the what if. “What if one or all of those things do happen?” she pressed. “I don’t knoooow,” I whined. “What would I do?” Instead of looking at me like I had three eyeballs, in a level, somehow non-judgmental tone she replied with the answer whose obviousness still stuns me to this day: “You waltz.” Oh right. Got it. It seemed my wash of fear would be a good place to employ the very framework Bob asked me to help adapt from sermon into book form, which he termed the Gospel Waltz. It also happens to be the precise skill to which I am witness number one as to its transformative power. Yet how quickly I forget. I am a writer who works largely in collaborative contexts, sometimes alongside the men of our church, which means this is hardly the first time this fear has flared. And I know I’m not alone, as so many women in the church labor alongside men in ministry and service contexts. The questions of what to do if I disappoint him or annoy him aren’t unique to me, and the truth is they barely scratch the surface of the deep-seated fear. It strikes me that the real question as we seek to work together across gender is: how do we do this well? How do we honor the Lord in our projects, planning, and partnership both within the church and out into the larger world?...

Working Together Across Gender in the Church2023-11-15T22:00:50+00:00

Engaging with Christian Community

JAMYE DOERFLER | GUEST On July 1, 2017, our family of five pulled up to our new home in a new city with a 27-foot U-Haul and two cars packed to the max. Within an hour, five adults were helping us unload the truck. Mind you, we’d met most of these people only once before. One man, we’d never even seen in person—we’d only had a single Skype conversation. Yet here they were, near-strangers sweating and struggling to carry our heavy furniture and boxes of books. The night before, when we’d loaded the truck four hours east, about 15 people had helped—some inside the truck packing it tightly, others carrying the boxes and furniture, and still others cleaning the house. The week prior, women had helped me pack up the kitchen and dining room. Once the kitchen was packed and cooking became difficult, various friends provided dinner for us every night as we visited and said goodbye to those with whom we’d spent the last eleven years. As I walked through that week, I was struck by God’s wisdom in putting Christians in community with one another. All of these people who served us in such a tangible way? They were our church family, our brothers and sisters in Christ. We’d spent a decade with some of them; others, we had only just met—but we were already bound by the fellowship of the Church. Created for Community I have met Christians for whom church attendance and participation is considered optional. “I can be a Christian but not go to church all the time,” they reason. Or, “I just like to go on Sundays and get in and out,” as though church is like a stop at the dry cleaners. This isn’t what God intended for Christians. Consider these Scriptures: Hebrews 10:24-25: "And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." 1 Thessalonians 5:11: "Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing." Galatians 6:2: "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." On June 30 and July 1 of 2107, our brothers and sisters were quite literally bearing our burdens...

Engaging with Christian Community2023-08-28T15:45:32+00:00

Forgiveness: A Costly Yet Worthy Obedience

ELLEN DYKAS|CONTRIBUTOR Corrie ten Boom, imprisoned during WWII for sheltering Jews in her home (along with her family), told a powerful story from a speaking event in Berlin. After sharing about God’s love, a man approached her. Oh, Miss Ten Boom, I’m so glad to see you…don’t you recognize me? She realized he was one of the cruelest guards in the concentration camp where she had been imprisoned with her sister, Betsy. He enthusiastically told her he was now a Christian, marveling at God’s forgiveness for all the cruelties he inflicted on people. But, he said, he prayed that God would give him an opportunity to ask one of his victims for forgiveness. Miss Ten Boom, will you forgive me? Corrie said, “I could not. I remembered the suffering of my dying sister through him...and I realized that if I did not forgive those who sin against me, my heavenly Father would not forgive me…but I could not [forgive him], but could only hate him.”[1] Confronting our inner hate and desperation I’ve not suffered the kind of trauma which Corrie endured, but I have been sinned against, and have confronted hatred in my heart towards evil doers, as well as believers who’ve betrayed me and mishandled my heart. What about you, sister? Today, are you weighed down with lingering pain and anger due to someone’s sin against you? A leader, friend, husband, parent, son, daughter, or boss? Do you resonate with Corrie’s desperate honesty, I can’t forgive, I can only hate?...

Forgiveness: A Costly Yet Worthy Obedience2023-08-15T13:17:27+00:00

Passing on an Eternal Legacy

RACHEL CRADDOCK|CONTRIBUTOR I love traditions. I can be persnickety when it comes to the execution of my precious practices and rituals. One Thanksgiving, my brother, who is a very talented chef, fancied up the cranberries. His adding to the traditional recipe sent me into a frenzy—and I cried. However, my love of traditions has mostly had a positive impact in my family life. There are several ways I created traditions for my four children: back-to-school photos on the front porch; family-themed Halloween costumes; March Madness bracket challenges; listening to a state-line songs on road trips, and pizza on paper plates in pajamas when my husband has a late meeting—just to name a few. The natural cadence of life in our home is bolstered by such traditions. As much as I cherish my traditions—which I assume as women we all love to create lasting memories with our children—traditions like that back-to-school photo on the front porch this fall will (perhaps) leave a lasting legacy; however, the traditions which we tend to fuss over while our children are in our homes will not extend into eternity. Reader, I am going to be honest with you here: I am human, both wretched and redeemed. Like the Israelites in the wilderness, my heart is prone to wander, and I am distracted by light and momentary afflictions. But God is faithful to keep me on the course. When it comes to being a parent, my love of earthly traditions can hinder me from being intentional to pass on the most integral and eternal tradition I have the privilege of passing on to my children— passing on the truth of who God is to His covenant people...

Passing on an Eternal Legacy2023-08-15T13:17:49+00:00

Companions in the Journey

LAURA DAVIS|GUEST She set out without telling anyone where she was going.  Her eleven grown children were used to her disappearing, and they scarcely ever worried about her.  She was a tough woman who had suffered much in her 67 years—she was the hardworking wife of a farmer who had physically abused her for their entire marriage.  She’d proven she could take care of herself. On May 2, 1955, Grandma Gatewood set out from Oglethorpe, GA to become the first solo female to hike 2,160 miles of the Appalachian Trail.  She carried a lightweight handmade drawstring bag with a few provisions and wore canvas sneakers on her feet.  She brought no map and no plan except to put one foot in front of the other. A Treacherous Journey On September 5, near the end of her journey with almost 2000 miles behind her, she traversed some of the most difficult terrain she had encountered thus far.  She had one good lens in her glasses after she accidentally stepped on them, and she limped from a knee injury after a fall. The climb before her was treacherous, the kind of treacherous that was a matter of life or death with just one small misstep.  The weather had also become cold and miserable with fat, icy rain drops pelting her skin.  Her canvas sneakers, which she has replaced multiple times before, were worn through so that water gushed through the holes and soaked her socks.  She was half-blind, limping, wearing worn out shoes, and the path was slick and dangerous.    She left the trail to find a town in which to buy shoes, but instead, she encountered a man mowing the grass.  He explained there were no towns for miles but offered for his wife to meet her at the next trail intersection with a new pair of shoes.  Later that afternoon, she met his wife and when she tried on those new shoes, they were too small. The woman invited her to stay the night and the next day, after giving her shoes that fit, her daughter and a friend joined Grandma Gatewood on the next 10- mile stretch of the trail.  For most of the journey, she hiked solo, but for parts of it, this tough woman needed other hikers to encourage and provide for her and to pull her to safety at critical moments.  Strangers gave her warm houses, warm meals, and warm beds. She enjoyed their company, and it lifted her spirits. Grandma Gatewood’s story is a picture of life in a hostile world where everything seems set against us finishing the race, but the companionship of others spurs us on.  Did the treacherous climb or the miserable weather change?  Did she get new glasses so she could see clearly?  Did her knee miraculously heal?  No, none of these circumstances changed.  Rather, she was given a new pair of shoes and companionship.  The shoes would eventually wear out again, but the impact of their companionship would last a lifetime...

Companions in the Journey2023-08-15T13:19:41+00:00
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