ELLEN DYKAS | CONTRIBUTOR
Those who live alongside me as friends and co-laborers in the gospel have most likely heard me say, “I’ve got my share of issues, but workaholism isn’t one of them!” Am I busy? Yes! Do I seem to always be ‘on the go’? Probably. Do I sometimes pridefully struggle with saying yes when the wiser answer would be no? Check. However, I’m grateful that, generally speaking, I enjoy time off and don’t live enslaved to my ministry position. However, a while ago, I reached a point when I needed to detach altogether from my key ministry leadership role at my church. A convergence of circumstances challenged my commitment to truly rest.
The convergence of needs, conflicting opinions, and ministry roles
My paid vocational path has been a rich one for the past nineteen years at Harvest USA. It’s been a profound privilege to journey with hurting wives and women bound up in sexual sin, along with teaching church leaders how to engage in this kind of ministry. It’s also been intense to be invited into the delicate and painful circumstances of others and to come face to face with the darkness of habituated patterns of sin.
This is my day job that I get paid for.
However, my local church family is, well, my family in Christ, and so I seek to invest in the spiritual maturity, encouragement, and care of my brothers and sisters. I’m also consistently grateful for being on the receiving end of such precious gifts in the household of faith. My key place of service since 2022 has been in our church’s “Sister Care Ministry,” which provides companionship and care for women in crisis.
Here’s what converged and confronted me with my limitations. At my day job, I was creating content, providing ministry consultation for leaders, and coming alongside younger leaders who needed guidance and encouragement. A key resource I was developing was our latest video discipleship course for sexually betrayed wives, Hope in Your Heartbreak.
In Sister Care, we were also grappling with several difficult situations involving marriages impacted by infidelity. I had been invited to participate in a short-term leadership team at church to consider how we could grow as a congregation in engaging sexual brokenness, including the wreckage of marriages. People were generously sharing with me their opinions and hurt feelings about what I (and the church) weren’t doing right.
Are you sensing the picture that was emerging?!
Everywhere I turned, it felt like I was facing sexual brokenness. Then, in one of two key contexts in which I’m not expected to be a ministry leader or counselor, but simply a sister-in-Christ, all of the above came out and tumbled over me.
I can still see myself in a circle of people as the conversation evolved and emotionally and literally sinking down as I privately mused, “No! No…not here too. Help, God! I need a safe space to have a break from all this!”
Sabbatical and the need to detach and disconnect
The above incident was the providential prompt I needed. I talked to my pastor and told him I needed a break from Sister Care for the remainder of the year. Thankfully, he was all for it and compassionate to my situation.
I needed to follow Jesus’ example. He demonstrated how withdrawing from immediate needs can be faithful rather than selfish. I stepped away so I could seek the Lord and receive His gift of rest, which includes the grace of not leading for a time. What followed was a four-month sabbatical from that ministry role.
That’s one story from my life as a woman in ministry. I would guess that, like me, many of you who are involved in ministry in your church are engaged in other paths of being poured out: as roommates, caregivers, wives, moms, grannies, employees, volunteers in your community, and more.
On top of all these “‘day jobs,” you’re active in your church leading Bible studies and organizing retreats, counseling women and making meals, discipling women and teaching Sunday school, leading worship and caring for missionaries. And you’re tired, maxed out, and, dare I say it, thinking about quitting it all, moving to the country, getting some goats and chickens, cancelling Wi-Fi, and taking a deep breath to reset while you sit in the sun.
Maybe you don’t need those drastic measures, but you sense in your spirit that you need a break.
The story of perseverance in ministry and faithfulness includes rest stops
I recently saw an online post by a beloved, faithful pastor who, by his own admission, needed help to repent from the “need to be needed.” He acknowledged his exhaustion and that the Lord was humbling him so that he’d gain not only wisdom, but strengthening grace that comes from purposely stepping aside for a time.
Maybe you wrestle to slow down, delegate, or admit you’re weary and empty. Perhaps, like me a few years ago, you’re currently in a season where the brokenness of the world—and of life right under your feet—has become a heavy weight on top of you. Circumstances God has allowed are confronting you with your weakness, limitations, and, let’s call it what it is: your humanity!
He is inviting you to trust and love him by stepping aside for a time—perhaps even stepping out of current responsibilities—for the sake of rest, recalibration, and renewal.
Sister, God is building His church, and nothing will thwart His purposes (Psalm 138:8).
You’re not expected to hold the church together.
God’s not wringing His hands with worry because you’re weary.
This is wonderfully freeing news.
He’s holding His church—and you—with sovereign, strong love.
He will counsel you in the way you should go (Psalm 143:8). So perhaps the faithful thing for you right now is not to do more, but to step back, receive His grace, and trust Him with what you cannot carry. Remember, grace + faith + humility sometimes mean receiving the gift of not leading for a time!
Photo by Clément Falize on Unsplash
