ALICE KIM | CONTRIBUTOR

As the author of Ecclesiastes emphasizes, there is a time for everything. A time to usher in life’s new chapter with clarity, confidence, and joy. A time when taking the next step is not marked by stifling “what if’s.” There’s also a time for deliberate pauses and periods of prolonged waiting. There is space in an otherwise fast-paced frenzy for stillness and contemplation, whether by choice or circumstance.

In this current season, I identify with the latter and to be honest, I feel conflicted between trust and anxiety. Somedays are characterized by greater peace and reassurance in God’s goodness; while other days, the uncertain horizon feels like a nightmare trapped in my mind. However, what comforts me is knowing that the Bible is littered with story lines of waiting. I am not alone. More so, waiting is not captive to happenstance, but is intentional.

We see this in the very beginning. Adam was acquainted with loneliness before he knew intimacy. Waiting revealed his inherent need and longing as part of the process of discovering that his Maker alone fully satisfies. From the life of Joseph, the sweetness of forgiveness and reconciliation is delayed a decade or more. The painful years that ultimately led to an unlikely heartfelt family reunion were marked by grief, abandonment, betrayal, envy, and mistreatment and yet, he grew in perseverance and faith.

Fast forward to the fateful event of Good Friday, when heaven and earth held their breath. The disciples witnessed their Messiah, the Son of Man, unjustly tried, convicted, and publicly scorned and shamed on a tree. That weekend of loss, devastation, and dread must have felt like forever until the power of resurrection and the glory of ascension. Since then, we live in the already-not-yet hope, groaning with creation for the day when Jesus makes all things right and new.

There is no shortcut to waiting. Waiting is not delaying gratification and filling the time with empty distractions. It is not powering through by just grinning and bearing until our desires come to fruition. It is more than the idle passing of time. It is being still and knowing He is God. As the author of Hebrews writes, it’s “fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross”.^[1] Waiting is a holy, redemptive, and restorative work of God.

Intended for Confession and Repentance

God is patient in our journey through waiting, especially when it is muddy, messy, and ugly. He pursues us in the process to reveal and reprieve us from the insecurities and beliefs that hinder our freedom in Christ. He uses waiting to expose our fear of being discovered a failure, hypocrite, and not good enough along with our knee jerk reactions to control, criticize, manipulate, and defend. He knows we are impatient, envious, self-centered, contemptuous, and how we justify our complaints attempting to disguise our finger pointing at God.

When our motives and inclinations are named, do we believe this is the kindness of God inviting us into confession and repentance?

Confession is less about listing all the ways we have messed up but more about returning to the joy of Christ’s salvation. Repentance is an act of resting in His perfect provision for us poured out on the cross, not motivating right behavior through guilt and shame. As Dan Allender wrote, “Repentance, though it may involve certain levels of grief and certain levels of awareness of failure, is sufficiently … a response to join the invitation of God to celebrate our return.”

Renewed Hope in God’s Promises

These past few months, I’ve collected symbolic rocks like the shepherd boy David gathered five stones for his epic battle with Goliath. Each of my rocks represents a promise in the midst of ruminating replays of judgement, anxiety, and hopelessness. When my focus begins to turn inward toward the chaos, I desperately scheme a plan to squelch the angst. Then, I pick up one of these rocks and my fingers trace the smooth surface and rounded corners and feel its cool touch. Its weight makes hope tangible.

I confess, “I am prone to wander, Lord, I feel it; Prone to leave the God I love.”^[2] I plea, “Take my heart, oh, take and seal it with Thy Spirit from above.”^[3] The rhythmic sound of these rocks of promise rubbing against each other as I pace back and forth bring me back to the yes and amen found in Christ alone. And I play my current playlist of promises.

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”^[4]

“… all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be”^[5]

“But God…”^[6]

“… what is that to you? You follow me!”^[7]

“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”^[8]

Waiting renews our hope in God’s promises. It is indeed used for our good, and His glory. May we not waste our waiting but seek the Lord in it.

^[1] Hebrews 12:2 NASB 1995

^[2] Come, Thou Fount of every blessing

^[3] Come, Thou Fount of every blessing

^[4] 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 ESV

^[5] Psalm 139:16 NIV

^[6] Ephesians 2:4 ESV

^[7] John 21:15-22 ESV

^[8]  Psalm 23:6 ESV

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash