parenting

Wisdom of the World vs. Wisdom of the Word

LISA UPDIKE|GUEST Everything is beautiful in its own way!... Never say I can’t; always say I’ll try…..If the sun doesn’t shine, create your own rainbows…..Throw kindness around like confetti….Be true to yourself….Follow your dreams….Dream big!....You can be anything you want to be… Inspirational quotes. They’re everywhere! On little kids’ t-shirts, bumper stickers, water bottles, journal covers, and classroom walls. They sound so witty. Clever. Like little pearls of wisdom. Good slogans by which to live your life. “Yes! I WILL follow my heart, try harder, and shoot for the stars! I can be whoever I dream I can be, and love IS LOVE!” Written in rainbow colors, with butterflies adorning the borders, this “wisdom of the world” beckons to our children. It can be quite confusing. Sometimes these slogans can be true; other times they can be outright lies. Often they are lies hiding right next to truth, subtle in their deceit. That is what makes them so dangerous for our children. Lies parading as wisdom. Teach the Truth There is only one true source for wisdom, and that source is God as revealed to us in His Word. However, ever since the events of Genesis 3, we are prone to seek wisdom from other places. How can we guard our children, teaching them to discern the truth from the lie? Simply put, we must teach our children the truth. How do I know that 2+2 does not equal five? Because I was taught how to count. If you counted out two things and had two more, you kept counting. That is adding. I learned this by grouping beads. I learned by counting on my fingers. It never varies. Two things plus two more always makes a total of four. You can’t convince me that 2+2=5 just by putting it on a pretty poster. Even if all my classmates say 2+2=5, I still won’t believe it, because I KNOW the truth! We do the same with God’s Word. We teach it to our children by rote (like we learn to count). We tell them what the Bible says. We share with them the wonderful stories. We memorize Scripture. Just like I held and manipulated those counting beads, we let our children experience and interact with what God says in His Word. This gives them a foundation of truth. They learn what kindness is, and respect, honor, and obedience. They learn about repentance and sin. They know God’s Word because we are living it with them...

Wisdom of the World vs. Wisdom of the WordChristina Fox2023-08-15T13:37:13+00:00

Walking With God in Motherhood

BETHANY BELUE|GUEST BETHANY BELUE|GUEST The moment I brought my little boy home from the hospital, so much in my life changed. Overnight, my whole world shifted, and I began to see life through the lens of another human being who was completely dependent upon me. My time went from things I needed to do to what the baby needed: when did he need to eat, when did he need to sleep, and why was he crying so hard? One morning, as I stood at my sink looking out at the fresh flowers in the flower box outside my kitchen window, while my baby slept in the room beside me, tears welled in my eyes. Motherhood overwhelmed me. The to-do list felt endless, the sleep felt too little, and the needs of this tiny little human felt exhausting. My need for the Lord felt great, yet my time with Him was almost nonexistent. In that moment, the voice of the Lord spoke to me, a voice of love and compassion: “My presence will be with you and I will give you rest” (Ex. 33:14). I’m not sure there could have been more needed words for a tired, anxious, first-time mother. I knew then that He was near and He saw me. He reminded me that in those days of early motherhood, He was with me, and although rest may not be found in sleep, it was found in Him...

Walking With God in MotherhoodChristina Fox2023-08-15T13:46:09+00:00

Cultivating Community on Your Leadership Team

SHEA PATRICK|CONTRIBUTOR I’ve noticed a recurring theme in the phone calls I have received during my five years as a Regional Advisor on the PCA’s national women’s ministry team: the women’s ministry team at a particular church is unable to accomplish any of their goals because someone is trying to take over the team, or strife and conflict have caused relationships to completely break down. How can our leadership teams work together while loving and serving the church and each other well? I believe the answer is by working on the relationships between the women on the team. Even more, the relationships on our team can help our women’s ministry to support the mission and vision of the church or it can hinder these same things. We can take steps toward cultivating community on our team by doing two things: 1) remembering God’s design and 2) intentionally pursuing community...

Cultivating Community on Your Leadership TeamChristina Fox2023-08-15T13:47:15+00:00

How Jesus Cares for Caregivers

MARISSA BONDURANT|GUEST There is a picture on my phone that is hard for me to look at. It’s of me lying on the sofa with our four-year-old daughter lying on my chest. She’s completely bundled up in a thick, furry blanket. It wasn’t a cold day, but because of how sick the cancer had made her, it was the only way she was comfortable. I remember feeling exhausted that day. And overwhelmed. And sad. So sad. Deep in my heart, I asked God tough questions about my child’s suffering. I wondered what the days ahead would look like. I lamented the fact that I really didn’t want to be in that caregiving position. After all, caregiving is hard. Not only do we grieve the suffering of our loved one, but we also process our own losses. Caregiving requires us to lay down our preferences and plans, and pick up the holy calling of meeting the needs of another. Caregiving also means keeping. Keeping appointments and medicine schedules. Keeping doctor’s numbers and medical details. Keeping up with cleaning, cooking, and other family members’ needs. Keeping track, keeping up, keeping on top of. In the marathon of caregiving, we might hit a point where we look around and think: In all my caregiving, who cares for me?...

How Jesus Cares for CaregiversChristina Fox2023-03-24T17:46:48+00:00

Hurrah for the Seasons

HOLLY MACKLE|CONTRIBUTOR In college a friend told me she welcomes the seasons—even celebrates them. I’m sure I nodded to look cool, “I totally get that.” (Not likely.) I’m getting older now, with definitely more wrinkles and possibly more maturity, but finally I get it. Now I too celebrate the seasons. For me, this celebrating of the seasons is more than pumpkin spice lattes and tall boots—it’s about worship. God has been about the business of seasonality for a long time. He’s the One who set the Old Testament festivities for his glory and our good when we were just being introduced to his character. By way of introduction, the Old Testament Jews were given Passover, Purim, and the Feast of Booths—just to name a few. Through them it’s as if he said, Allow me to introduce myself. And once you understand me a little bit more you’re going to want to worship me—so here’s how you do it, and here’s how you celebrate who I am and the story I am writing. On this side of the cross, we have tremendous Christian liberty and holiday celebratory leeway as we walk around indwelt with Christ himself—the personification of the Temple, Jesus—abiding in our very hearts. In John 2:19 Jesus referred to himself as the temple, and 2 Corinthians 6:16 pulls from Leviticus 26:11-12 to explain how this indwelling extends to us, “For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, ‘I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.’”...

Hurrah for the SeasonsChristina Fox2023-03-24T17:47:08+00:00

A Grandmother’s Heart for Her Loved Ones

PATSY KUIPERS|GUEST Many years ago, an article I read described being a mother as having a piece of your heart walk around in another person. When your child hurts, you hurt. When they rejoice, you rejoice with them. Weeping with those who weep and rejoicing with those who rejoice is scriptural (Rom. 12:15), but those feelings are magnified when the one doing the weeping or rejoicing is your child. I wasn’t an overprotective parent. As my daughters grew up, I allowed them to work out their challenges to the extent it was appropriate for their ages and maturity levels. Even so, they knew I was there to back them up, and when issues arose that were beyond their abilities, I stepped in to advocate for them. I’d like to say I always did so with grace, but there were times when anger or frustration got the best of me. Though this may not be the best example, it’s the one that came to mind immediately as I typed that line. One morning, I was following behind newly licensed Mary, who was driving to school with her younger sister Jessie in the passenger seat. Someone cut between us and started tailgating Mary. Unable to give the driver an ample piece of my mind regarding road etiquette, I did the next best thing – I gave her a long, loud blast of my horn. Not my proudest mom moment, but my “cub” was threatened, and it was the only way I could intervene...

A Grandmother’s Heart for Her Loved OnesChristina Fox2023-03-24T17:47:52+00:00

Cultivating a Love for Worship in Our Children

KATIE POLSKI|CONTRIBUTOR When my youngest was about seven, I decided it was time to help her engage more in the worship service. Because she liked to doodle, I bought her a journal and pens and told her it might be easier to listen to the sermon if she wrote down some of what the pastor talked about. I suggested that she draw a picture of what he read from the Bible or write down a question she might have. The next Sunday, she opened her new journal with enthusiasm when the sermon began. The pens moved voraciously, and my heart swelled with pride. She was listening and learning! I couldn’t wait to see how her young heart responded to God’s Word. When the service ended and she hurried off to ensure she was the first in line at the snack table, I opened the journal and read this story...

Cultivating a Love for Worship in Our ChildrenChristina Fox2023-03-24T17:48:59+00:00

The Most Important Discipleship Group

SHEA PATRICK|CONTRIBUTOR In high school and college, I participated in discipleship groups. These groups met each week to talk about our struggles and what the Lord was teaching us. I grew in my relationship with the Lord because of these wonderful opportunities to learn and grow in my faith. But as I became a mom and began to consider what it looks like to disciple my children, the discipleship model I was used to did not seem to fit. My children would not even sit still! With the Lord’s help, I have reconsidered what discipling my kids means and how it changes as they grow and mature. Now that my kids are nine through fourteen years old, discipleship looks very different from my early expectations. But the three main components of instructing, coming alongside, and getting at the heart have remained consistent...

The Most Important Discipleship GroupChristina Fox2023-03-24T17:49:07+00:00

Parenting Adult Children

BARBARANNE KELLY|CONTRIBUTOR This weekend I helped my daughter peel potatoes. We were having company for dinner, and I’d asked Kate to make her roasted garlic mashed potatoes to go along with the main dish that was braising in the oven. As we stood side-by-side at the sink, she commented on the difference in how we wielded our peelers. “I always nick a knuckle when I hold it that way.” I smiled and nodded—regardless of how she holds the peeler, she ends up with a peeled potato. Her recipe differs from mine in other ways: she melts the butter in the microwave, I drop it straight into the hot potatoes; she whisks in chopped thyme from the garden, I settle for salt and pepper; she peels the garlic cloves before roasting them, I roast the bulb whole; her choices of dairy products are richer and more generous than my own; and the cayenne pepper was a surprise. When she was finished, she served up a side dish that could have taken center stage. Kate is the second of our five children, all of whom are grown and flown, four of whom are married, and two of whom are now parents. I’m not writing on the topic of parenting adult children because I’ve figured it out, but as many writers will attest, by this exercise I may learn a lesson or two. Even the terms empty nest and grown and flown are instructive. Our adult children are no longer hatchlings who need us to meet their every need for survival. Nor are they fledglings who need us to manage the larger responsibilities of their lives. They have spread their wings and flown from our nest of parental care into the lives God has ordained for them. I’ll just share the top three lessons on my growing list, because I’m still learning, and, well, there’s a word-limit—which I’ll probably exceed anyway...

Parenting Adult ChildrenChristina Fox2023-03-24T17:49:37+00:00

The Mist of Motherhood

RACHEL CRADDOCK|CONTRIBUTOR If I am being completely honest, laundry is my least favorite household chore. Like Mary Poppins, I can find an element of fun in most jobs that must be done around the house. But when it comes to laundry, I long for a fairy godmother’s power to simply swoosh away the piles of dirty clothes. Being a mom to four means my laundry basket is always full and sock-matching seems never-ending. We have forty-two pairs of socks in a week’s worth of laundry; the odds of finding all eighty-four socks in the same week are slim. In the new heavens and the new earth, when Christ returns to redeem and restore all things, I have a holy anticipation that socks will no longer go missing. I am convinced sock causalities must have something to do with the Fall. In my flesh, laundry is a begrudging chore. In my flesh, I can’t see laundry rightly as important kingdom work. When I focus my eyes on the earthly things I can see—the piles, the baskets, and oh-so-many socks—I easily become overwhelmed.

The Mist of MotherhoodKathy Wargo2023-03-24T17:57:01+00:00