BETHANY BELUE | CONTRIBUTOR

My children and I have been working our way through a Scripture memory book this school year. Each week, we focus on a different verse, learning it together, memorizing it, playing a song related to it, and weaving it into our week. It’s been a sweet way for us to hide God’s Word in our hearts together. Last week, the passage was short and simple: “Love is patient. Love is kind” (1 Cor. 13:4). Although it was a simpler verse to memorize, it brought so much depth of conversation and meditation.

As my husband and I parent our children, we often talk about loving others. What does it mean to put our siblings before ourselves? How can we show kindness to our friends? How can we be patient when we have to wait for things? It’s woven into our parenting and our family values, but in my own heart, memorizing this passage with my children provoked some deeper feelings and struggles.

First Corinthians 13:4-7 says, “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” It’s easy to love my children when they are obeying me, to love my husband when he is serving me, to love my friends when they are treating me kindly, but what about all the times when it’s hard to love others?

Love that is Broken

Since the Fall in Genesis 3, mankind’s love for others has been broken. We are all born with depraved hearts that seek after our own desires and needs. We hurt others with our words. We blame others for our own sins. We expect others to be for us what they were not created to be. In all these ways and more, we fail to love. Truly, we struggle to love others because deep down we love ourselves more. Whether we like it or not, we live in a fallen and broken world where human relationships are filled with conflict, selfishness, and betrayal.

We can trace through Scripture men and women who walked in broken relationships, including Adam and Eve, Abraham and Sarah (and Hagar), and King David with all the brokenness surrounding his life. God knew there was only one way they (and we!) could be saved from sin and our relationship with Him and others restored: through His Son. We need Jesus to rescue us. We need to know His great love for us. “But God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom. 5:8). Jesus showed us ultimate and perfect love by giving up His throne to be born into this fallen world and to live the life we could not live and then die the death we deserved. “We (can) love because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19). The only hope we have of truly understanding love and showing that love to others is through the love of Jesus.

Only Through Jesus’ Love

The reality is that relationships are marred and broken by sin in this world. Marriages will struggle and at times fragment. Friendships will be hurtful. Children will disobey and may even walk away from the truth. However, as children of God, we can turn to God’s love for us when we face relational strife and challenges. We can remember the depths of His love for us at the cross. We can find hope in the truth that He has not left us alone to navigate relational challenges and conflicts. He gave us His Spirit who lives within us and who empowers us to love as we’ve been loved. We can then move towards others out of the love that Jesus has shown us (1 John 13:34). And we can rest securely in His love even if we don’t experience the love of another. We can find hope in His love because it never ends; it is a covenantal love that cannot be broken.

As my children and I have been discussing this topic, I have been reminded once again that none of this is easy. It’s not something we will fully grasp one time and then never struggle with again. As we live with others in community, raise children, and serve others, we will face this often-hard commandment to love others. We will face our own depravity and inability to love others as we ought and prayerfully see our need for Jesus. The good news is we are not alone. Jesus knew that we couldn’t understand love apart from Him. He knew that we would struggle and need His forgiveness and grace. I’m so thankful for the love of Jesus and for the cross where He demonstrated His covenantal love for us.

In the Jesus Storybook Bible Sally Lloyd Jones, often talks about the love of Jesus in this way: “God’s Never Stopping Never Giving Up Unbreaking Always and Forever Love.”[1] On our refrigerator I have this phrase laminated, personalized with our names printed on it. I want my children to grow up understanding this deep and forever love of Jesus. Although loving others is not easy, it is a gift to experience God’s love and to have the opportunity to show it to others. Sisters, I pray this for you too! Cling to Jesus and His love, then go out and love others.

[1] Sally Lloyd-Jones, The Jesus Storybook Bible: Every Story Whispers His Name Zondervan, 2007.

Photo by Jonathan Meyer on Unsplash