JORDAN PAINTER|GUEST

In February 2024, I arranged my neat little set of watercolor paints at our annual church Galentine’s event. My plan was to paint a picture, have some tasteful hors d’oeuvres, and chat with my friends. God’s plan for me was to challenge much of what I had previously written off in my own pride. I simply couldn’t have predicted how that one light-hearted night would thrust me toward the chaos in which I now sit a year later.

Before the activities began, a woman in our church was asked to speak on her experience with foster care. Although it was probably a wonderful message, I remember nothing she said after this statement: “If every church just had one family willing to foster or adopt, there would be no child left waiting in the system.” Just one. I looked around the room and I realized that we all probably assumed someone else would be the “one.”

At that moment, a seed was planted that I absolutely did not want to nurture. I had seen foster care from a distance and knew it was not for me. To welcome a child, invest in them, love them, and then return them, was not something I felt I could do. I knew foster kids have messy pasts, difficult behaviors, and deep trauma. With two toddlers at home and a husband who travels for work, I was not equipped to handle that.

God Establishes Our Steps

Proverbs 16:9 says, “The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” I had planned my way. It was a very average-American-middle-class way, and it sounded fantastic: I would have two to three well-behaved children, and our days filled with play dates and various groups. My husband agreed with my plan and frankly, we loved it. But the Lord established our steps.

As I type this, I have two foster sons asleep in their beds. One will wake up in about thirty minutes and then continue to wake every hour or so through the night. The other will sleep well and wake with plenty of energy to scream at me when his favorite shirt is dirty. This was not my plan. The Lord established our steps.

But what’s incredible about the steps the Lord established for us is that He knows exactly how much strength, wisdom, trust, and grace each one will take. When I heard my friend speak at that women’s event, the Lord provided just enough grace for me to ponder her speech with honest consideration. When I got home, He offered me enough strength to shakily tell my husband that I had a crazy idea. As we said “yes” to the foster care informational meeting, He granted us the wisdom to ask the right questions for our family. And on the night that our precious boys showed up, the Lord filled our hearts with trust in Himself to do what seemed impossible to us.

The Lord Provides

So, as I consider the challenges of tomorrow, I rest in knowing that the Lord provides the strength for each step. When our little guy wakes up for the fifth time, Jesus will be there with rest for my weary heart. As I listen to the irrational screams of our five-year-old, the God of Peace will be there also. And in His gracious love for us, I know He will also provide moments of joy, laughter, and realization of the deep purpose of this work.

People have often asked me why I felt called to foster, and my answer is: I didn’t. Every step of the way, my husband and I have questioned this decision. Is it too much for our kids? Our marriage? Is it the right season? Honestly, we still don’t know. Here is what we are sure of: We saw a need for safe, loving homes like ours, we recognized the command in Scripture to care for the orphan, and we made a decision to step forward in cautious obedience. There were many times when the door could have been closed, and plenty of opportunities for our minds to be changed. At each one, the Lord provided what we lacked whether physically, emotionally, or spiritually.

I do not, of course, propose that every family pursue foster care. However, I do know there are many more families in the church who can foster but have not yet had their heart softened to it. So, to the woman reading this: is there one family in your church pursuing foster care? If not, would you boldly consider praying for a softened heart? Perhaps you will find that as you inquire, the Lord closes all doors. Or maybe, in a delightful and unexpected journey, the Lord will establish your steps in the way of this messy and wonderful ministry.

A country where no child is without a Christ-centered home is not a grand mystery for which we are restricted only to prayer and wishful thinking. It is, in fact, a simple equation that can be solved by those who love the Lord. One family, from each church. Is it yours?

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash