GRACE THWEATT|GUEST
Six months after my second child was born, both kids were sleeping through the night. I, however, wasn’t. My body exhausted; I’d lay my head on my pillow only to find my thoughts racing: I haven’t spent enough quality time with my oldest since the baby came. I wonder if he feels neglected. Goodness, I wish I hadn’t yelled at him when he disobeyed earlier. I really need to work on having more patience. I’d begin to drift off to a restless sleep, only to have a stressful dream wake me and leave me with an urgent sense that a child needed me or that I had forgotten to do something important. I would check the time, and my heart would drop with despair at the glaring number, 3am. I needed sleep to have energy to face the next day! My worrisome thoughts continued: Should I reset my alarm to get a little more sleep and just skip having an early-morning quiet-time? But I’m already feeling distant and lacking in my relationship with God…
Anxiety and striving had grown to characterize my life, and they were eating away at me. I imagine I’m not alone in this. As moms, it seems we often strive in response to the anxiety we feel about our parenting. We worry: Are we teaching our kids the right things about God? Should we be memorizing more Scripture with them? Are we praying with them enough? And discipline… are we doing it right? Are we really helping facilitate heart change? We move through our days trying to do it all and do it all right.
Our striving often comes from a good place: we desire to be good moms and godly individuals. But our striving ultimately leaves us feeling burned out and in bondage to our finite strength and capabilities.
Encouragement for Striving Moms
In John chapter 17, Jesus prayed for His people shortly before He went to the cross. In John 17:3, Jesus stated the reason for His prayer: “These things I speak in the world, that they may have my joy fulfilled in themselves.” What is it that Jesus wants for us? Joy. Not anxiety, not burnout, not shame, but joy.
In verse 11, Jesus prayed for His people the words I think hold the power to deliver moms from striving: “Holy Father, keep them in your name.” Jesus asked for His people to be kept together in faithfulness to God and in all God has revealed Himself to be—that His people might continue faithfully trusting and loving God.
Now, notice what Jesus did not pray for. He did not pray, “May my people keep themselves in your name.” Rather, He prayed, “Father, you keep them in your name.” It is God who keeps us. Our relationship with God is not ultimately dependent upon our own efforts to have a quiet-time or pray. It is God who keeps us in His name. Our godly parenting is not ultimately dependent upon our own commitment or resolve. It is God who keeps our kids in His name.
Of course, we have a role to play. But when we stand on the foundation of God’s power and work, our role is one of surrender rather than striving. The invitation Jesus holds out to us is to put our trust in God’s work rather than our own efforts! He invites us to look not to our own capabilities or performance but to trust in God.
We can trust God will pursue us and continue making His character known to us.
We can trust that God will continue to refine our character and make us more like Christ.
We can trust that God will give us the wisdom and strength we need to parent well.
We can trust that when we wander, God will not let go of us. He will come after us and draw us back to Himself.
And can we trust that God operates in such a way toward all His people, meaning our own kids’ spiritual journeys are not in our hands, but in the Lord’s.
Letting go of our anxious striving, we can rest in the security of God’s hold on us and live from a place of rest. This rest is what makes for a fruitful, joyful life—the life Jesus desires for us.
Resting in the Presence of God
As one who still daily struggles with striving, here are a few practical tools that are helping me live from a place of rest in God:
- Set aside time to practice a posture of spiritual rest. Every morning when I go to have my “quiet-time,” I spend the first ten minutes sitting in silence before the Lord. One phrase I’ve heard others use that describes this time well is “beholding God beholding me.” I try to focus on God’s presence with me and His loving disposition toward me. I don’t offer many words of prayer or jump into reading Scripture; rather, I seek to simply be present with God. Much like physical therapy exercises work to train your body to operate in a certain way consistently, having a focused time where I can practice this posture of trust, stillness, and quiet waiting before the Lord helps me come back to this place throughout the day.
- Memorize Scripture that reminds you to trust in God’s power. When I commit Scripture to memory, I find that the Holy Spirit brings it to mind and empowers me to trust in the promise when the moment arises. Here are verses that have been particularly helpful in helping me trade striving for rest:
“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 1:6)
“Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.” (Psalm 42:5-6)
“Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ. For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me.” (Colossians 1:28-29)
- Pray out loud throughout the day. When I find myself at the end of my rope, a commitment to praying out loud often gets me praying in the first place, looking to God for help rather than my own strength. I also think praying out loud shows my kids that mom is imperfect and needs God’s help. Hopefully this models a dependence on the Lord that they might learn to emulate.
- Cultivate relationships in your life that point you toward the rest Christ offers. In this season, community for me often looks like a series of texts or voice messages exchanged, or an interrupted conversation over the chaos of kids playing. But prioritizing relationships with people who can recognize when I’m slipping into striving and can remind me of the rest offered to me in Christ has been (and will always be) vital.
If you’re a mom who struggles with striving or you’re someone who wants to encourage mothers in your church body, take hold of this truth: in Christ, we don’t have to live with our anxious striving. We can place our trust in God, remembering that it is He who keeps us in His name, holding us secure in a faithful relationship with Him. We can live the reality the hymn “He Will Hold Me Fast” so beautifully proclaims:
When I fear my faith will fail
Christ will hold me fast
When the tempter would prevail
He will hold me fast
I could never keep my hold
Through life’s fearful path
For my love is often cold
He must hold me fast
Photo by Sandra Seitamaa on Unsplash

Grace Thweatt
Grace Thweatt lives in Dallas, Texas with her husband and their two young kids. Her days are bookended by a hot cup of tea and filled with outdoor play with her kids, aspirational baking attempts, and writing about faith in motherhood. You can read more of her writing through her newsletter Renewed Motherhood: https://renewedmotherhood.substack.com/.