Christina Fox, Author at Women.pcacdm.org

The Blindspot About Women and Sexuality

ELLEN DYKAS | CONTRIBUTOR I well remember a conversation years ago, at a Harvest USA fundraising banquet, during which I needed to defend my full-time position in our ministry to women. The conversation went like this: Well-meaning man: “You’re full time? Are there that many wives who have Christian husbands looking at porn?” Me: “Well, yes; not only do wives reach out for help, but Christian women who are struggling with things like pornography and casual sex do as well.” Well-meaning man: “Really? I never thought women struggled with that stuff!” It wasn’t the first time I had to defend my job. Women have long felt invisible in the church. When it comes to sexuality, most of the attention has gone to men. So, when a woman needs help for her sexual struggles, she often wonders, where do I turn? Who can help me?! Darcy¹ came for help because she couldn’t stop hooking up with men. She’d sought out more men than she could remember, and her face and voice communicated shame and pain as she gave me her diagnosis, “Ellen, I guess I’m just more like a man.” She needed help understanding that lust and sexually sinful behaviors are gender neutral. Why did Darcy think that? Because in her church circles, she only heard that men had problems with lust. Yes, there was something wrong with Darcy, but it wasn’t that her sexuality was more like a man’s. She needed help understanding that lust and sexually sinful behaviors are gender neutral! Idolatrous, lonely, and selfish hearts don’t belong to one gender. Is your women’s ministry a safe space for women who struggle sexually?...

The Blindspot About Women and SexualityChristina Fox2024-07-24T17:09:04+00:00

Equipping You For A New Women’s Ministry Year

MARIA CURREY | CONTRIBUTOR With a new Women’s Ministry year peaking on the horizon, leaders’ minds are perking with everything from finalizing calendars, setting the fiscal year budget, and encouraging and recruiting existing and new team volunteers—just to name a few likely thoughts on your prayerful punch lists! Sometimes, facing new year expectations seems daunting, like scaling a ministry-Mt.-Everest. Fortunately, we have the best gear for whatever climb we face: God’s Word, prayer, and leaders before and behind us as “spiritual sherpas” of sorts. Jesus is first and always at the front as our guide and hems us in from behind, but it is also helpful to know the resources and relationships of trusted leaders who have climbed similar mountains. The Priority of Prayer The combination of God’s Word and prayer first informs our preparations. Pulled from God’s Word, prayer was the pacing of Jesus ministry from His baptism in Luke 3:21 to His final breath in Luke 23:46 and in His consummation of blessing and breaking bread with His disciples in Luke 24:30. As we follow in Jesus’ perfect footsteps, trusting established placement of our feet, He gives us the critical cues to pray without ceasing as we prepare. Jesus, who was perfect in every way, relied on prayer as the lifeline with God His Father; if it was critical for Him, it is even more essential for us...

Equipping You For A New Women’s Ministry YearChristina Fox2024-07-24T13:50:16+00:00

Set Free Indeed

TARA GIBBS | CONTRIBUTOR As a young mother, I took my one and three-year-old toddlers with me weekly to visit an elderly homebound widow. Seeing this woman’s joy in the hugs and laughter of my two children was a delightful gift. But, as I left each week, I began noticing unsettling thoughts in my mind and heart: “It is so wonderful that you visit this woman with your toddlers each week! What a good thing you are doing! If people knew, they would really say nice things about you.” How frustrating it felt to not be able to do one thing without pride. I knew the solution was not to stop doing the right thing, but I wondered if there would ever be freedom from this weight of sin. I wondered, “Is the Christian life just one, long slog of feeling guilty all the time?” Twenty-five years later, I would commend my younger self for identifying and confessing the sin in my heart. But I would also encourage “younger me” that a continual slog of guilt is not how the Bible describes the Christian life. Repentance was in order, but when repentance turns into one more opportunity to over-focus on self, I have missed the mark. We can construct a false, self-made identity through focusing on good works, or we can build our self-made identity by over-focusing on guilt and shame. In both cases, I am the focus...

Set Free IndeedChristina Fox2024-07-20T13:52:00+00:00

The False Identity of Vanity

KATIE POLSKI | CONTRIBUTOR In C.S. Lewis’ fantasy novel, The Great Divorce, there is a scene where people in hell are offered a bus ride to the mountains, which are symbolic of heaven. The passengers on the bus are all ghost-like figures while their family and friends near the mountains are solid beings, beautiful and non-transparent. One of the ghostly ladies on the bus, dressed very nicely, feels inferior because she is transparent and not as solidly beautiful as the others: “How can I go out like this among a lot of people with real solid bodies? It’s far worse than going out with nothing on would have been on earth. Have everyone staring through me.” [1] The spirit-narrator looks at the woman with bewilderment as she has just been given the chance to leave hell, and he says to her, “Friend, could you, only for a moment, fix your mind on something not yourself?” But she could not. Overcome with the way others might see her, the woman chooses eternity in hell rather than feel less beautiful than the other bodies in her midst. Vanity: A False Identity Vanity is often defined as someone who has an excessive love of themself—an over-the-top, prideful attitude that thinks, “I am the fairest.” Vanity is certainly not less than this. There are many who live in self-admiration of the way they look or in excessive pride over their gifts and talents. The vain person sees no need to give thanks to God when a compliment is received because they believe they are the sole reason for their success; they love themselves more than they do anyone or anything else, let alone the God who created them. But there is another aspect to vanity that is equally harmful, and that is seen through Lewis’ fantastical illustration. Sometimes, vanity surfaces from deep insecurities over one’s appearance. While seemingly contradictory, a person who is consistently ashamed of their appearance or often worried about how they look in comparison to others is also expressing vanity. Many women struggle with this in one form or another. Whether we walk around gloating in our beauty, or deliberately drive the bus back to hell to avoid company that causes us to feel outwardly inferior, it is all vanity, and connected to a blurred vision of our true identity as a believer in Jesus...

The False Identity of VanityChristina Fox2024-07-20T13:44:41+00:00

Speak Words That Are Fitting

CHRISTINA FOX | EDITOR Have you ever gone through a hard season, and someone said something with the intention of making you feel better, but it only made you feel worse? Perhaps you just learned shocking news that brought you to your knees and a friend said, “God will work this out for your good.” Or maybe you just experienced a significant loss, and someone said, “Everything is going to be okay.” Or you faced a very real fear, and someone said, “Don’t worry about it. You just need to trust in God.” Suffering is uncomfortable—certainly for the person enduring it, but also for those who witness it. We can feel uncomfortable with a friend’s expressions of grief or anger or agony, so we may say things to her to cheer her up or calm her down that does the opposite of what we intend—our words hurt rather than heal. We may even say things that are ultimately true but said at the wrong time. A friend once said to me that when he is suffering, he wants friends who did as Job’s friends did—but only in those first seven days when they sat in the dust and ashes with him and said not a word (Job 2:13). Because Words Matter Proverbs 25:11 says, “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.” What we say really does matter. This is true not only in times of suffering but also when a friend voices a problem she is experiencing at work or a dilemma she faces in her parenting or doubts she faces in her faith. It’s important that we pause and take time to consider what is truly helpful and what meets her heart’s need in that moment. What words will encourage her? What words will remind her what is true? What words will equip her to live for God and His glory? As we speak to our friend, we need to be mindful of how we speak...

Speak Words That Are FittingChristina Fox2024-07-26T14:31:21+00:00

A Time to Wait

ALICE KIM | CONTRIBUTOR As the author of Ecclesiastes emphasizes, there is a time for everything. A time to usher in life’s new chapter with clarity, confidence, and joy. A time when taking the next step is not marked by stifling “what if’s.” There’s also a time for deliberate pauses and periods of prolonged waiting. There is space in an otherwise fast-paced frenzy for stillness and contemplation, whether by choice or circumstance. In this current season, I identify with the latter and to be honest, I feel conflicted between trust and anxiety. Somedays are characterized by greater peace and reassurance in God's goodness; while other days, the uncertain horizon feels like a nightmare trapped in my mind. However, what comforts me is knowing that the Bible is littered with story lines of waiting. I am not alone. More so, waiting is not captive to happenstance, but is intentional. We see this in the very beginning. Adam was acquainted with loneliness before he knew intimacy. Waiting revealed his inherent need and longing as part of the process of discovering that his Maker alone fully satisfies. From the life of Joseph, the sweetness of forgiveness and reconciliation is delayed a decade or more. The painful years that ultimately led to an unlikely heartfelt family reunion were marked by grief, abandonment, betrayal, envy, and mistreatment and yet, he grew in perseverance and faith. Fast forward to the fateful event of Good Friday, when heaven and earth held their breath....

A Time to WaitChristina Fox2024-07-22T14:22:14+00:00

The Renovation of a Soul

SUSAN TYNER | CONTRIBUTOR Never go to the grocery store hungry and never let your husband look at Zillow if you’re feeling bored. The move from Mississippi to Texas had been a big one. Besides the loss of small-town connections, our usually chaotic house of seven finally entered the empty nest phase, and Lee and I found ourselves idling. Listless. In a word, we felt a little blah. In this season of unusual boredom, Lee was Zillow-surfing and landed on a listing in a neighborhood we stalked on weekend drives. The tree lined streets boasted sidewalks with families walking their dogs. Grand homes and cottages looked well-tended despite their age. We toured the house Lee found and decided it would be perfect once we did some construction on it. So, out of a little loneliness and a lot of naivete, we decided to put our house (a perfectly beautiful house on a really lovely street, by the way) on the market. I knew just because I wanted this house, that did not mean I would get it. Feeling like a little girl asking my earthly Daddy for a new toy, I sat down with my Father and boldly prayed for this house. He and I both knew it was not a necessity—more of a wish. And, I knew if this was a terrible idea, He would never give me something that wasn’t good for me. I trusted Him to answer yes or no. He said yes. And, it was a quick yes. Buyers snatched up our house before it hit the market. We bought our new home for lower-than-asking-price. We hired a contractor. Sure, we’d heard the horror stories of renovations of old houses, but this was God’s gift to us. And while we knew better than to overlook the peeling paint and crooked walls for the hundred-year-old charm, we saw green lights everywhere. The inconveniences of a renovation were small prices to pay to unwrap this good gift, right?...

The Renovation of a SoulChristina Fox2024-07-04T15:47:39+00:00

Five Things I Learned From My Husband’s Life-Threatening Illness

LEAH FARISH|GUEST “Inoperable.” “Stage 4.” “Radiation won’t help.” “Aggressive cancer.” These are things I was told about my husband Kent’s sudden, alarming condition two months ago. But I was also told important things from the Word of God. Since those are the things that apply to everyone, those are what I want to tell you. When we thought he had mere weeks to live, we sat together in awe as he sipped bone broth, the only thing he could stomach. He had started chemotherapy the very day he first saw an oncologist, who admitted him straight to the hospital. We murmured in disbelief to see my husband, a physician himself and a dynamo of energy, quickly declining to a wraith who couldn’t walk across the street. I started asking him his passwords, and hired a yard man. Calls and texts started to pour in to my phone with questions and offers of help. One thing we resolved to do was not to criticize or minimize any attempt to comfort or assist us. I learned not to second-guess messages or gestures of concern, no matter how brilliant or clumsy. We agreed we would take everything that people brought to our situation, no matter how big or small, as straight from God’s hand. We had no desire to use what we thought were Kent’s last days in critiquing ways that others tried to express their love. Love doesn’t keep count of wrongs suffered, so if we had had expectations of what someone should do for us, we gladly dropped them. Since when one member of the Body hurts, we all hurt, maybe wisdom from the pain might come to us through another who was not technically suffering. Kent even started habitually opening his hands upward whenever someone would proffer a prayer or encouraging word. Soon we felt the surrounding cloud of loving support sent by the Body of Christ...

Five Things I Learned From My Husband’s Life-Threatening IllnessChristina Fox2024-07-04T15:43:41+00:00

A Call to Steadfastness

KERRY ANDERSON | GUEST Being in the same church for twenty years truly illuminates the saying “being in it for the long haul.” As with all churches, ours has seen difficult times, sweet times, sad times, challenging times, divided times, and unified times. By the grace of God, we’re currently in a season of growth within a warm, happy church culture where body life is thriving. I’ve witnessed God’s hard but refining fire many times over the years and feel grateful for the blessings and answered prayers we’re experiencing now. Time to sit back and relax! Take our feet off the ministry gas pedal and coast for a while. I mean, what is there to do when peace and unity abound but to soak it all in and take a break, right? It sounds tempting, but we know better. What encouragement do you give to a healthy church that seems to be pleasantly rolling along? It turns out, it's the same encouragement that every church needs no matter what their situation is. It’s the same encouragement our church needed in every season through which the Lord brought us. A look at three churches in Scripture shows us the universal call to this command. A Call to Steadfastness To the messy church at Corinth, Paul writes, “Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord” (1 Cor. 15:58). This church was in chaos. So, after reminding them of the hope of the resurrection, Paul calls them to persevere and be steadfast in following Christ because their work will bring eternal results...

A Call to SteadfastnessChristina Fox2024-07-04T15:32:17+00:00

How Do We Pray When Prayer is Hard

ELIZABETH TURNAGE | CONTRIBUTOR “Father, please send your angels to protect my mom.” I spoke this prayer on night ten of my mom’s fierce battle with Covid. Five hours later, she was dead. Have you ever received a resounding “no” to heartfelt prayers? Have you prayed prayers for days, months, and years and seen no evidence of change at all? Prayers for the return of a wayward child, prayers for freedom from deeply rooted sin patterns, prayers for relief from chronic pain? Perhaps with David, you have cried day and night but heard no answer and found no rest (See Psalm 22:2). In such seasons, bitterness or cynicism threatens to mute our tongues. How do we pray when prayer is hard? Three Crucial Practices Three crucial practices help us to pray when prayer is hard: learning the language of lament, which deepens faith; leaning into community, which grows hope; and listening for God’s declaration of his unfailing love, which expands love for God and for others. Learning the Language of Lament When prayer is hard, learning the language of lament can help us to emerge with a stronger faith. As Pastor Mark Vroegop explains, “Lament is a prayer in pain that leads to trust.”[i] Lament not only expresses our faith in the goodness of God, it also strengthens our faith in its expression. Prayers of lament often process through four categories: turning to God, naming the grief, asking persistently and boldly for help, and expressing restored confidence. Lamentations, Jeremiah’s lament over the fall of Jerusalem, illustrates each of these categories. Rather than turning away from God when relief from suffering doesn’t come, lamenters turn toward God. Jeremiah addresses his complaints to God in raw words few of us would dare to utter aloud: “You have wrapped yourself with a cloud so that no prayer can pass through” (Lam. 3:44 ESV). Lamenters name their grief, refusing to minimize their suffering: “I am the one who has seen the affliction under the rod of his wrath; he has driven me and brought me into darkness without any light” (Lam. 3:1). Arguing that their current experience doesn’t seem to match their understanding of God’s goodness and mercy, lamenters ask persistently and boldly for help. Jeremiah keeps crying for help, “Remember, O Lord, what has befallen us; look, and see our disgrace!” (Lam. 5:1). In doing so, he expresses his firm conviction that “no one is abandoned by the Lord forever” (Lam. 3:31). Not always, but often, lamenters turn from complaint, expressing restored confidence that the Lord will redeem and restore again. Jeremiah’s turn comes in the familiar assurance: “But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness” (Lam. 3:21-22). As Vroegop asserts, lament “stands in the gap between pain and promise.”[ii] Learning to lament helps when prayer is hard...

How Do We Pray When Prayer is HardChristina Fox2024-06-23T18:49:09+00:00

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