KATIE POLSKI | CONTRIBUTOR

I was a few minutes early to our weekly Bible study when a fellow mom came and sat next to me, letting out a defeated sigh. Noticing her exhaustion, I gently asked if everything was alright. “Yes,” she answered apathetically. “I just don’t think I can keep coming to this study, though. We are just so super busy right now.”

I felt frustration surface, and not because she might not return, but because I was overwhelmed as well, and she beat me to the complaining. I showed up that morning feeling utterly depleted, running on fumes myself. But I also lamented that returning the sentiment would only turn into what has become a “typical” suburban exchange:

“How are you?”

“Great; just super busy.”

But I told her anyway, admittedly with an edge to my voice: “Yeah, I’m super busy right now too.”

The Hidden Barrier to Church Connection

Busyness. Everyone experiences it, in some season or another, because it is inevitable. There is work to be done, deadlines to meet, people to connect with, children and grandchildren with activities and responsibilities, and then… there is our church.

During busy seasons, it’s easy to let church and community take a backseat. But it’s in these very moments of overwhelm that we need the church the most. As I sat in that Bible study with my friend, I was reminded of the power of consistent involvement—not just for spiritual nourishment, but for the encouragement and strength we draw from one another. I needed to be there amid the busyness. The church is God’s provision for our spiritual growth and need for community. As Hebrews 10:24-25 reminds us, we are called to “stir up one another to love and good works” and not neglect meeting together, especially as the days grow darker. The strength we need for the day-to-day grind comes from the body of Christ.

One of the primary reasons people leave a church is because they do not feel connected to the body of believers. During our 25 years in ministry, if a family has not relocated, feeling disconnected is the main reason families give for leaving the church or looking elsewhere. If this has been the case for you, it may certainly be due to an unwelcoming community or because of leaders who do not set the precedent for a hospitable environment. But often, disconnectedness comes from a lack of involvement, and lack of involvement is blamed on a full schedule.

You see, our expectation is connectedness. We all long for connection in church, but often we hope it will happen naturally, without intentional effort. However, togetherness in a church family doesn’t work this way; it does take effort and commitment. Because of this, we must find places outside of regular Sunday morning worship in which to invest, while also managing the ongoing demands of a super busy schedule.

Easy, right? Not at all. But let me suggest the first step.

Building Deeper Connections Amid the Busyness: The “Plus One” Approach

Pastor and author Kevin DeYoung talks about the “Plus One” approach to the church.[1] The idea is simple: make Sunday morning worship a priority and then think of one more ministry to commit to within your local church setting.

And committing means investing. Investing is not merely showing up when you feel like it or giving an hour of your time once a semester. Investing means attending regularly, serving faithfully, and sacrificing other activities to remain faithful to it.

Serving in the church doesn’t just nurture our spiritual growth—it also keeps us connected to the body of believers in meaningful ways. In God’s providence, working alongside others often fosters friendships and strengthens bonds within the church family. For parents with kids, this might mean serving together. Perhaps you commit to volunteering in children’s ministry or serving at a local food pantry together. Or you might consider serving in your church’s youth ministry while encouraging your teen to invest in it for the purpose of connection and practiced commitment to your local church.

These “Plus One” opportunities make the church more than just a Sunday experience; they help in connecting us to the body and they aide in spiritual growth through the shared experience of serving. Additionally, investing in ministries of the local church shows the next generation both the value of serving alongside their spiritual family, and the blessing of feeling connected.

Of course, the “Plus One” approach is meant to get us to the point of feeling connected during spiritually dry seasons or seasons filled with an abundance of other responsibilities. The hope is that, over time, we will continue answering God’s call to serve and engage in the life of the church as both our time and desire for deeper connection grow.

Navigating Busyness: A Call to Stay Rooted

Psalm 92:13 says, “[The righteous] are planted in the house of the Lord; they flourish in the courts of our God.” Those who are faithful in the house of God will not only feel more connected but will flourish like a mighty tree planted in the temple whose roots have grown into the sanctuary. But the rootedness – true flourishing – won’t happen if attendance is only occasional.

This might feel contrary to the culture we live in, where weekend vacations, family trips, and sports games on Sundays are all too common. But, as with anything, we choose what we prioritize. Prioritizing Sunday worship is the first step toward both connectedness and spiritual flourishing. While attending church doesn’t save you, it nourishes your soul and reorients your heart toward Jesus.

As you reflect on your own busyness, consider the role the church plays in this season. Are you allowing the busyness of life to dictate your involvement in the body of Christ? While it’s true that life often feels overwhelming, the call to be planted in the house of the Lord is one that leads to flourishing, even in chaos.

In the whirlwind of life, don’t let the community that can sustain you take a backseat. The church isn’t just a place to attend; it’s where we are nourished, supported, and reminded of God’s call on our lives. Make the choice to stay rooted in the church, and watch as God works in and through you, bringing peace, purpose, and a deeper connection to Him and His people.

Editor’s Note: This piece is inspired by Katie’s new book, Beyond the Back Row: Rediscovering the Beauty of the Local Church for Your Family. You can learn more about her book here.

[1] https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/kevin-deyoung/the-plus-oneapproach-to-church/

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash