HANNAH HAGARTY | GUEST

My husband and I have two failed adoptions, chronic illness, and an unexpected mission field exodus to our names. Things not going as planned? I may be an unwilling expert on the subject. But it turns out, being an expert on disappointment can mean possessing a deep appreciation for the goodness of God’s sovereignty. 

We readily said yes when asked to adopt the two little sisters in our home. As foster parents for nearly half of our married lives, Mali had come to us at eighteen months old. When her sister Ziva was born, we picked her up from the hospital. Birthdays and holidays flew by with our biological children and the little girls until they had been with us nearly two years. And then, with one phone call, we were told the case plan had changed from adoption to reunification. The girls were to be handed over to a biological relative investigated for crimes against a child. It didn’t matter which way anyone turned that fact about, sense was found nowhere in it.

Years later, my husband and I and seven of our children were living in West Asia, sent out by the church to do mission work, never intending to live in the States again. For thirteen months, we worked our assigned jobs, learned the culture, and did the difficult work of progressing in the local language. Our kids flourished. And then, with another phone call, devastating news from the States immediately put me on the thirty-one hour flight back. Flying over the burning oil fields of the Middle East, the plane silent with sleeping passengers and my life feeling very much like the chaotic scene below, I wondered, “God, how can you possibly be glorified in this?”

God’s Presence in the Unknown

As Tim Keller said, “You don’t really know Jesus is all you need, until Jesus is all you have.” In the dark days following the girls’ absence and in the days when our family sat stunned and still, whiplashed by the life upheaval of being back in the States, one constant truth was evident: Jesus was what we most needed. We clung to Him and we knew we were held. Whatever God was doing, He was with us and was not mindlessly flinging us around like expendable pawns.

The Westminster Confession of Faith defines God’s sovereignty this way: “God, the great Creator of all things, doth uphold, direct, dispose, and govern all creatures, actions, and things, from the greatest even to the least, by His most wise and holy providence, according to His infallible foreknowledge and the free and immutable counsel of His own will, to the praise of the glory of His wisdom, power, justice, goodness, and mercy.” 

Sometimes His sovereignty is visible: job offers appeared for my husband without him searching, we had housing, and a vehicle was given to us. Sometimes His sovereignty is more difficult to point to. We ached for life overseas. Yet, His sovereign goodness exists whether we sense it or not. It is as constant and steady as His unchanging character.

Christ’s Sovereign Intention and Affection

Our teenage son wields his chess pieces over the board strategically. I am terrible at chess. I can watch one of his matches and not comprehend what is going on but there, suddenly, the match is over and he has accomplished his goal. The game is won. Our lives belong to Christ. But unlike a chess player who holds no relationship with his pieces, Christ moves us at will with sovereign intention and affection. He has a covenantal commitment to His people. There are times we get to glimpse the divine game in play, “through a glass darkly.” My husband now uses his overseas business experience to help other missionaries stay in closed places. I began a ministry to spread God’s heart for the nations among children.

“Cheer up, Christian! Things are not left to chance: no blind fate rules the world. God hath purposes, and those purposes are fulfilled. God hath plans, and those plans are wise, and never can be dislocated.” Charles Spurgeon

When things do not go as planned, it is not because God’s sovereignty has slipped. It is because He has higher thoughts and higher ways (Isaiah 55:8-9) that we are not comprehending. The tragedy that brought us back to the States was actively used by a Sovereign God. I love Joseph’s words in Genesis 50:20 which follow his years of suffering. We can be encouraged in them when we face the unexpected. “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.” One man’s evil plans are masterfully beautiful in the hands of a Sovereign God.

The answer to the question I asked on the plane, “God, how can You be glorified in even this?” has an answer. I’ve come to know the comforting answer is confident acknowledgement that He will be glorified in the lives of His children, whether or not we perceive it. His sovereign glory is not contingent on our comprehension; it is the radiance of who He is.

Photo by Judy Beth Morris on Unsplash