SUE HARRIS | CONTRIBUTOR

The problem we have today is that we have taken a good gift and made it a terrible master. We have accumulated stress beyond our ability to bear them, plunging ourselves into constant anxiety.” – Kelly Kapic, You’re Only Human (p. 131).

A few years ago, I was given a sabbatical. I know. What a gift. Weeks on end with nothing to do but rest. That’s where the word ‘sabbatical’ comes from, anyway. But as I approached this time, I was a ball of stress and anxiety. I was afraid of what it would look like. I was afraid that at the end of it I wouldn’t accomplish what was intended. I was afraid that the minutes, hours, and days would crawl and it might be impossible to return to the high-energy life and ministry I loved. What I didn’t know was that I was afraid of what I would discover when I could no longer hide behind my accomplishments.

A Personal Revelation

After about a week of solitude, spending time away during my sabbatical, a friend called me and asked me about my day. On a non-sabbatical day, I would respond with a list of my achievements. I would start out saying how busy and full my day was and provide some highlights of what I produced. But during my sabbatical, I wasn’t supposed to achieve anything except rest. So, when this friend called, I began to describe what I had done that day.

At that point, I was spending two weeks at a lake house owned by my parents. I would typically exercise, drink coffee, and spend relaxed, uninterrupted, time with the Lord. Then I would read my book, take a trip on a kayak and engage in the quiet beauty that surrounded me. Maybe more reading in the afternoon, taking a walk, going into a town where no one knew me and return to listen to a baseball game while watching the sun go down behind the trees.

That particular day involved much rest and relaxation while watching turtles on a log. For a few of my days at the lake, I would hop on my kayak early in the morning and quietly and gently approach turtles sunbathing on a log. My humble goal was to count them. From afar, it looked to be about 20 turtles, but I could never get close enough to the log to count their exact number because they would tumble into the water when they heard my kayak paddle stir the water. That was my favorite accomplishment that day: approaching the turtles and counting them. As I described how amazing turtles can be and how calming and wonderful my day was, the words out of my mouth began to slow. I could hear how I sounded and I began to cry tears of embarrassment. I felt unworthy because I wasn’t producing or achieving anything seemingly worthwhile. I made an excuse to hang up quickly and tried to ascertain why I was so embarrassed. What was behind my tears?

I know that my sabbatical schedule isn’t the norm for anyone. But why was I so ashamed to report on that kind of day? When did rest become so embarrassing to me?

A Loss in Busyness

Now don’t get me wrong, people need to be picked up, eat meals, produce at work, keep a schedule, weed flower beds, mow the lawn, pay bills, whatever. But how much of my busyness comes from my desire to accomplish things so that I feel accomplished?

Rest sounds great, but often it’s only reserved for vacations and sabbaticals, not the real world. I think everyone reading this would agree that more rest would be ideal, but it’s just not feasible with our busy lives and responsibilities. But I think there is more to consider.

There is loss associated with busyness. For me, that loss results in truncated time with the Lord and mimicked intimacy with others because my time set aside for personal connection is so limited that I rarely finish a conversation. I’m often just going to the next thing. Quickly.

And I think this is an appropriate question for us all: what are we losing as we fill our days with stressful and measured production rather than presence? What would it look like to work at resting? Are we truly resting on our weekly Sabbath day or is it just another “off day” where we can accomplish more things?

Look, this kind of conversation stresses me out, but I think it could be an area of sin for me and maybe it is for you, too. Why else would I cry while talking about turtles?

What would it look like for me to trade some of my self-induced stress for deep breaths, connecting presence with the Lord and others, and finding true sabbath rest? We are made to find our rest in Jesus, the One who created us both to work and to rest. I certainly am better at the work part. But we can find our rest in Him because He doesn’t slumber nor sleep (Psalm 121:4).

I have a desire to bring every aspect of my life under the lordship of Christ Jesus, and I’m sure you do, too. For me, I think it starts with my Sabbath day, but I’m asking the Lord to give me wisdom on how I spend all my days. I’m hopeful for rest, presence, and peace in the midst of a busy, stressful world around me.

“So then, there remains a Sabbath rest for the people of God for whoever has entered God’s rest has also rested from his works as God did from his.” – Hebrews 4:9-10

Photo by Aaron Doucett on Unsplash