ELLEN DYKAS | CONTRIBUTOR

Are you a journaler? I’ve been one since age thirteen and now, ninety-two journals later, my story is there with all its dreams, foolishness, heartbreak, life-in-Christ surprises, and…HOPES! As a teen, I dreamed of writing books and traveling the world to help people. Little did I know how God’s amazing plans for me would unfold!

For starters, the first two books I wrote both had some form of the word “sex” in the title…I mean, I seriously did NOT see that coming when I was thirteen years old! When my first discipleship workbook, Sexual Sanity for Women: Healing from Sexual and Relational Brokenness, was published in January 2013, I was thankful and expectant. Thankful because producing this resource had been a long, somewhat challenging process and finally, after more than three years of book “pregnancy,” the workbook was born. I waited expectantly to see the response and impact on women’s lives.

One message came in on publishing day from a woman: “You do know, right, that 99% of women in the church will never engage [with] this? Most churches won’t even consider this!”

Initially, I felt frustrated and angry. I didn’t want balloons and accolades—but perhaps a little encouragement and thankfulness!

But GOD.

Yes, but God rescued me from myself and I sensed his gentle, truthful wisdom. “Ellen, is the one percent worth it? Maybe she’s right. But that still leaves many hurting, gospel-desperate women who have expressed the need for this resource.” My heart changed at that moment. YES! Yes Lord, the one percent are more than worth it…let’s go!

Milestones can provide an unexpected map for what’s next

Sexual Sanity for Women was a milestone for me in so many ways: as a woman in ministry, a teacher-trainer, and as an author. It was a deep encouragement to be associated with a resource that provided Christ-centered, biblical help for women wrestling with the pain, shame, and hopelessness so many experience regarding sexual sin. And in some ways, that workbook opened the door for me to teach and train many others through seminars and webinars. Yet, the milestone wasn’t that the book was published, but the Spirit’s whisper to my heart after receiving that email in response to it…

You see, after God settled my heart, I reached out to the woman who sent that email to me and heard her story, one of pain, shame, isolation, feeling ‘missed’, and being unhelped. No wonder she thought what she did about people not being interested in a book for women needing help with sexual integrity! I’ve had hundreds of conversations with women over the years and heard just as many tear-filled confessions—the majority of which contained things that had never been shared before.

The true milestone was God’s work in my heart to grow compassion for hurting women and zeal to provide Christ-fueled discipleship for them. Zeal led me to write more on the topic of sexual faithfulness for women, and God’s map for my ministry continued to “re-route” the steps I had anticipated in my life.

Milestones can be scary, vulnerable, and surprisingly fruitful all at once

Few people know the story of how my connection with Harvest USA began, in part, through sharing a part of my testimony with the audience at the 2006 CCEF conference, “Relationships: A Mess Worth Making.” When invited to share how I learned about CCEF, I knew I needed to open up about something that had brought much shame to my heart: relational brokenness and unhealthy patterns of dependency on people. I’d never spoken of this publicly and I’d absolutely never spoken in front of a 1000+ person crowd.

But God.

In the audience that day was John Freeman, the Harvest USA president at the time. Long story short, they offered me the Director of Women’s Ministry position eight months later! Little did CCEF-counseling-intern me know in 2006 that I’d  write a book in 2021 to help others who struggled with relationships the way I did. The milestone of sharing my brokenness rerouted my path as I had planned on going back overseas to serve in a cross-cultural context. I had anticipated writing books related to missions, not codependency and relationships.

Sisters, my point in all of this isn’t to say, “Hey, look at what I’ve written!” but to encourage you to trust God, the Author of life to not only write your story, but to map out what he wants you to write about. There is only one you in all of history and God has plans, good ones, that are unexpected and may feel initially like a detour. But trust him, follow him, and let his love and wisdom in you be poured out through pen and keyboard, through teaching and serving, or through whatever means for the glory of Christ among the nations.

What milestones might God use to reroute your life’s map?

When you scan your life, what milestones come to mind? Those that have led you to burst out with laughter or tears? The painful disappointments or lavish gifts of grace that made your head shake, or your heart quake? Might God be wanting to pour something through you as a writer, speaker, teacher, or discipler that isn’t currently on your radar screen? Ask the Father to guide you and to give you zeal for what he reveals and faith for how leads.

Photo by Nick Seagrave on Unsplash