LISA UPDIKE | GUEST
Parenting is hard. I mean really hard. I know. Of course, parenting is rewarding, wonderful, and awe inspiring. I’m not denying any of that. In parenting, we experience a depth of love that we never knew we could fathom. In parenting, we catch a glimpse of our Heavenly Father’s great love for us. In parenting, we begin to understand just a wee bit of why Jesus laid down his life for us, his beloved children. Still. Parenting is hard. Some days more than others. I’m right, and you know it. It’s important on those difficult days to remember that hard isn’t bad; it’s just hard. In fact, hard might even be good.
It’s funny. We think if God calls us to do something then He will make the path clear, straight, navigable. Somehow, we actually believe that if God calls us to something, and we obey, then it should be easy. But somehow life just doesn’t work that way, does it? You see, God calls us to the hard. Jesus promised that we would have tribulation in this world (John 16:33). Paul even said that Christians rejoice in their sufferings! (Rom. 5:3) And sometimes, parenting is definitely full of both tribulation and suffering. I wonder if, when God told Eve there would be pain in childbearing (Gen. 3:16) if He meant the whole experience of raising children would increase in pain.
We parents are so vulnerable. After all, we love these children of ours and want to protect them from all the difficult things that can happen: rejection, failure, sickness, disability, temptation…on and on the list goes. When our children suffer, we suffer. But our job isn’t to protect them from suffering, is it? After all, God loves us far more than we love our children, and He actually brings suffering to us for our good. Our job is to point our children to Jesus in the midst of it all. Still, it hurts. We can know that losing the big game is character building, but it’s painful to watch our child give his or her best and still not get the win. Not only do we love and want to protect our children, we also want to protect ourselves! So much of our identity gets tied up in our children. It can become downright idolatrous! Successful children? Then we are happy. Kids in trouble? Then we feel shame. Children following the Lord and raising their own godly family? Then we are pleased to take the credit for such great kids. Children rejecting the faith and walking in the ways of the world? Then we wonder why God has abandoned us.
Yes, parenting is hard. I think parenting is supposed to be. Being an excellent parent, the kind we always thought we would be, is just…beyond…reach. Just…past…our outstretched finger tips. Oh, how this impossible task shows us our need for a Savior like nothing else we are called to do! God knows we cannot do this thing on our own, and I believe it’s by design. It’s in this vulnerability, weakness, and desperation in raising these little people that the Lord reminds us, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” In realizing this, our response is to “boast all the more gladly of our weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon us.” (2 Cor. 12:9) It’s in these moments of being confronted by our inability to make perfect adults out of imperfect children that we boast in the work of Christ!
Have I mentioned that parenting is hard? Yes, it’s one of the means by which we are sanctified, made more and more holy in our hearts and in our conduct. So today, no matter what stage of parenting you find yourself, do not despair! God is at work! Mommies of toddlers, take courage, you are not alone. Mothers of a silent teen, the Holy Spirit is at work. Parents of a rebel, God is not finished. This task of raising children into adults is too big. It’s too much. It’s just plain too hard. Why? Because it is in the impossible where God meets us. So, dear one, drink deeply of grace today. Rely on your Heavenly Father. He wants to meet you and work through you in this hard thing. He wants to make Himself known to you in this hard thing. Hard isn’t bad. It’s just hard. And it turns out, hard is for our good!
Photo by Bethany Beck on Unsplash

Lisa Updike
Lisa Updike is the Director of Children’s Ministries at Covenant in Harrisonburg, VA and doesn’t remember a day when she didn’t love Jesus. Her ministry experience includes teaching, special education, leading children’s choirs, and writing. Several of her books and curriculum are available through the PCA bookstore. She and her husband, Kevin, have been married since 1989 and are blessed with 4 adult children, 3 of whom joined their family through adoption. Lisa and Kevin stay busy with church activities, creating art, and best of all, doting on their two grandsons.