AMY SHORE | GUEST

She grew up in a small West Virginia town near the Mason-Dixon that changed hands between the North and the South 56 times during the Civil War. Her family reflected that instability. It wasn’t until college that I started to see and understand the evil and dysfunction that my mother survived as a child. It wasn’t until early adulthood that I saw it as evil and dysfunctional. And it wasn’t until recently that I comprehended the notion that she survived childhood.

But if I’m being honest, she did more than survive. The very fact that I had clothes on my back, grew up in church, and was loved bears testimony to that redemptive fact. She showed me a kind of love and affection that shouldn’t have been possible for a woman with her past. I didn’t understand it. I couldn’t relate to her in so many ways—and still can’t. But I’m beginning to see the grace that was poured out by a benevolent Father in both our lives reflected in that love that was never modeled to her.

Her love is imperfect. And that’s probably the part I wrestled with the most once I left home. An 18-year-old has grand visions of how she will rise above her parents and be better, be different, be free. 18-year-old me grew to 20-something me who came to resent all the ways my mother did not meet my needs.

So, I decided to have no needs. I would rise above. I would pull myself up by my proverbial bootstraps and make my own way. I decided the best way to keep my heart intact would be to need no one.

I excelled at my new-found independence. I soared, really! I quickly rose from the ranks of the needy, to the self-sufficient, and then graduated to White Horse Specialist First Class. I became the one who met other’s needs. I became all things to all people. To my siblings—I was their stand-in mama. To my students—I was the teacher who made learning fun. To my best friends—I was the ever-present pillar of strength. To my church—I was the tireless volunteer. Until I began to encounter circumstances that were larger than the persona I had mustered.

Lessons from My Spiritual Mamas

“Amy, I’m concerned,” she started our Chick-fil-A lunch conversation. I sneered internally in one last ditch effort to convince myself I didn’t need her concern. But truth be told, those three words were a soft warm breeze that began to melt a frosty heart.

In hindsight, Carol Ann was not the first, nor was she the last of the women God has brought into my life over the years to remind me of my need. These ladies I would come to call “Spiritual Mothers” have all played a part in reminding me of my own insufficiency. My own dependence.

The average married couple realizes at some point in their marriage that their spouse will not meet all their needs. As a single woman, I have learned in a different school. God has used Spiritual Mothers to teach me this lesson. Spiritual Mothers are a gracious provision in our lives given by God to both meet needs and to point us to Christ.

I spent many years disengaged, questioning, or bitter because I didn’t have the kind of relationship with my mama that others around me enjoyed. I still don’t. And maybe I never will. But what a sweet lesson my Beloved gave me when He showed me that there is no man, woman, or child on Earth who can meet all my needs. He created me for Himself. And I had to face it…

My mama ain’t Jesus!

None of our mamas are. Husbands aren’t. Children aren’t. Pastors aren’t. Pastor’s wives aren’t. Even Spiritual Mamas aren’t.

Spiritual Mamas Point Us to Christ

“Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’ So we can confidently say, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?’ Remember your leaders, those who spoke to you the word of God. Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Hebrews 13:5-8

Christ is the only One who can perfectly meet all our needs. We are to trust in His promised provision—His Presence. He will never leave us or forsake us. He knows us and every facet of our longings and passions. He is our Helper, the Quieter of our fears and insecurities. He is also the One who brings leaders and Spiritual Mamas into our lives to tangibly reflect His character and to speak His Word of restoration and redemption into our sin-sick souls. He charges us to watch these ladies, to be mindful of the very practical ways they apply their faith, and then He calls us to go and do likewise. Why? Because we are to model for future generations this Jesus who is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

We all have needs and a deep longing to share the joys and sorrows of life with another. Along your journey, who has God placed in your life to fill gaps and shoulder burdens? More importantly, has He placed mamas or Spiritual Mamas there to point you to Him?

Whether we have a present, godly, discerning mother or not, no one person will ever meet all our needs except for Christ.

I wanted my mama to be perfect…but she’s not.

And that’s OK. Because I know the One who is. WE know the One who is! That is knowledge worth sharing! Acknowledging that our only hope of completeness is Jesus, will we pass on that glorious hope to other women? Will we listen to God’s call to be a gracious provision and a tangible reflection of Christ in someone else’s life?

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash