LINDSAY FUNCHES | GUEST

Apart from the two times when I actually forgot my children, the worst episode of mother forgetfulness in my life occurred in Atlanta, Georgia, when I had four children under the age of six. Having just moved to the area, we had been attending our new church for two months. Mary Boyde was five, Sam was three, Steele was nineteen months old, and Hayley was two months old. Steele had Crouzon Syndrome, a craniofacial syndrome like the boy in the movie Wonder, serious medical issues, and literally a dozen doctors. He wasn’t sleeping at night because of severe sleep apnea.

Needless to say, I was exhausted as Christmas approached. As is often the case, our new church performed a magnificent Christmas pageant every year with the Sunday School children. Oddly enough, they held this Christmas pageant during the Sunday School hour.

The Pageant Fail

So, there we were—the new family with a passel of children, and the pageant organizers announced their selection of our Mary Boyde and Sam for the coveted roles of Mary and Joseph. I received the costumes with very strict ironing instructions; I completed the strict ironing instructions to the very best of my ability. I dutifully took my children to all the practices and helped them practice their lines. Finally, we were ready for the big day. My fatal error was that I had forgotten to communicate with my innocent husband, Mike, that the special pageant was during the Sunday School hour. Knowing his wife was rapidly approaching rock bottom, Mike turned off my alarm, scooped up the kids for a fun breakfast with Dad, and decided that mom needed sleep more than Sunday School.

When the church called that morning, for some reason, they failed to specifically mention the pageant to Mike. Being a man of few words, Mike told them the unvarnished truth: I was asleep. We were skipping Sunday School.

Ahem. So, to be completely clear, the Christmas pageant was missing both Mary and Joseph because Lindsay needed sleep. My children were crushed. I was in tears. A dear friend encouraged me through my tears: “Lindsay, if anybody in that church knew half of what is on your plate, they would forgive you in an instant, provide meals and babysit your children to boot. Besides, you have given them the opportunity to love the weaker brother. You are helping them grow!” As mortifying as it is, our failures give others the opportunity to give grace, grow in love, and be blessed in the process.

Forgetting Faith

There is, however, a “forgetting” that is much worse than a missing Mary or Joseph. This is a forgetting to have faith in God and His provision for every minute detail of our lives. Hebrews 11: 6 reads, “And without faith, it is impossible to please God, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that He exists and that he rewards those who seek him.”

I am not talking about forgetting doctrine (though good doctrine is, of course, important and informs real faith). Instead, I am referring to active faith, the faith parents have when they cling to Galatians 6:9: “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” When the toddler colors on the wall for the fiftieth time or uses a marker on the leather couch or even monograms the minivan with a rock, this faith propels parents to keep doing what is right, even when it is not their first instinct or emotion. When our older children go to places on the internet where they should not go, or rebel in school, or exhibit deep patterns of deception…faith holds fast to the promise that God disciplines those He loves. When our child is diagnosed with an incurable disease or challenging medical issue, this faith guides us to trust God and persevere. We have hope, even in the darkest circumstances.

Remember

Scripture commands us to remember—to have faith—in times of want and in times of plenty. We are to bind the commands and love of God on our hearts, on our hands, between our eyes, on our doorposts, and on our gates. In the Presbyterian Church, we take communion often. Why? “Do this, in remembrance of me…” Communion gives us a tangible way to remember Christ’s sacrifice for us.

Scripture repeatedly tells us to “Remember” because we don’t just forget our children at soccer or forget where we put our reading glasses; we forget God. When darkness starts to take over the light, remember Jesus’ words in Luke 12:32: “Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.” Remember!

Three Cheers for Mary and Joseph

When you watch a Christmas pageant or other performance, give a cheer for the children on stage. They showed up! And maybe, just maybe, there is a young mother, or older widow, or single member of your congregation that could use a helping hand. Perhaps your congregation is home to a family struggling with chronic illness who you can bless. And maybe, just maybe, in the next few weeks someone else’s total failure will be your moment for lavishing love on a fellow believer.

Let Mary and Joseph remind you to ask God for more faith, even faith as small as a mustard seed. We need the boots on the ground, fight it out in the trenches kind of faith. Remember: God is our Maker, He is Good, and He rewards those who seek Him.

Photo by Rob Laughter on Unsplash

Lindsay Funches

After graduating from Davidson College (BA Political Science) and Reformed Theological Seminary (MA Biblical Studies), Lindsay married Mike Funches, an Army officer. They were blessed with four children, one of whom was born with a rare craniofacial syndrome. Passionate about education and parenting, Lindsay homeschooled for over a decade through multiple military moves, medical challenges and deployments. Originally from the great state of Florida, Lindsay and her family settled in Washington State where Lindsay taught English and History in local Christian schools. Lindsay enjoys reading, traveling, mentoring teens and spending time with family.