BETHANY BELUE | CONTRIBUTOR

Eight months after getting married, my husband and I packed up a U-Haul and moved to Atlanta. He was excited about the move, as it would mean following a call the Lord had given him. I was following in my body, but my heart was kicking and screaming. It was the beginning of a new and exciting season for my husband, but for me, it was the death of so much that was familiar to me: living close to family, a job that I loved, and the fulfillment of buying our first home.

After arriving at an apartment complex I had not seen before, walking through church doors where I knew no one, and learning a city that was completely new territory, I wondered what the Lord had in store for us in this new place.

There was little about our years in Atlanta that was easy. My husband worked a full-time ministry job while also enrolled in seminary full-time. We longed for a baby who was not yet a part of our story. Finances were tight, our apartment felt small, and traffic was stressful. Yet when my husband and I look back on that season of early marriage, we talk about it with fondness because of the people the Lord put into our lives.

One year after making Atlanta our home, I sat down with a new friend who invited me to join a small group she and a few other women were starting at church. I was desperate for community and yet was fearful of opening myself up to others. The first time I sat in a circle with these five other women, I felt physically and emotionally raw. I didn’t feel like I fit in with them. I didn’t know them and they didn’t know me.  Everything in me wanted to run out of the room and not look back. Thankfully, I knew the Holy Spirit was telling me to stay. I’m so glad for the Spirit’s leading as that group became one of the sweetest gifts the Lord has ever given me.

The Gift of Intergenerational Relationships 

For two years we met on Fridays over lunch. Our ages and stages all looked drastically different. We each had different stories and struggles. Yet each week, as we sat in a circle and opened God’s Word, the Lord wove our hearts together. I remember one rainy Friday when we were talking about the Lord’s faithful pursuit of us. We read in Deuteronomy about the Israelites wanderings in the wilderness and how time and time again the Lord saw them there and provided for them. One after another we opened up about areas in our lives that felt like a wilderness. As we looked at God’s Word and each shared honest thoughts from our lives, I looked around the room with tears in my eyes. Each story was different, and yet we longed for the same thing: to be seen and pursued by the Lord. It was one application of Scripture, but it was a reminder to me how God’s Word shows us how similar our hearts’ desires are, despite our difference stories and experiences.

The Beauty of Intergenerational Relationships 

In women’s ministry, it is often easy to remain in circles with other women who are in our same age group or season of life. It can be uncomfortable to step outside of this and to be in community with others whose lives look different than ours. I love living life with women whose lives overlap, and yet my small group taught me the depth and beauty that comes when we cross generations and seasons. We have celebrated and grieved so many life events together, from eight babies being born into our group, children graduating school and getting married, new grandchildren, the death of parents, and so much more. I’ve learned from women who are a season ahead of me and also walked shoulder to shoulder with women beside me.

The Call to Intergenerational Relationships 

Eventually my husband took a new call, and we moved to a new city. I now have the privilege of being on our women’s ministry team at our church. Each time I stand in front of women, I remind them that although we may look around and see women whose lives and ages are completely different from ours, we have the unique privilege to be connected as one. It not only is a privilege, but it is also a responsibility. Because we are united to Christ, we are also united with one another. And we share in the same love (John 13:34-35). When we live our lives out of the covenant of Jesus’s relationship with us, we are also connected with others through that covenant (John 13:34-35). The beauty of covenantal relationships is that they are not about us. We can walk courageously towards others, be honest with our sin and struggles, and live in unity with others, because as children of God, our identity is in Him and not in ourselves (Eph. 2:1-10). Our lives may be in different, yet in Christ we are the same (1 Cor. 12:12-13).

Perspective for Intergenerational Relationships

My small group in Atlanta taught me many things, but more than anything it gave me a perspective for intergenerational relationships among women that is valuable for sanctification. I watched other women live out their faith in different seasons of life, and it reminded me that following Jesus through all the joys and sorrows that life brings us is worth it. Life looks different for each of us now, but they are still part of my life. We grieve and celebrate with one another. We pray for one another. And we continue to point one another to the Lord.

As I continue to lead and participate in small groups in the local church, I am consistently reminded that it is good to be connected to women who are different from me—different ages, different seasons, different stories. Covenantal relationships are powerful and good, not just for women, but also for the church as a whole.

My husband and I often say we wouldn’t necessarily want to live that season of life in Atlanta again, but the relationships that came from it continue to remind me that God sees so much more than we see. Even in a wilderness, God provides for His children. I’m so thankful for how He provided for me and how that season was used to teach me the beautiful gift of intergenerational relationships.

Photo by Jametlene Reskp on Unsplash