KC JONES|GUEST

About two years ago I went through a season of spiritual depression. Even though I was raised in a Christian home with parents who taught me the Scriptures and encouraged me to pursue God and although I knew I was following His lead, I felt low, like something big was missing. I was imbued with a sense of discouragement so palpable that at times I felt like I could not breathe. 

That is when the Spirit of God reignited my sense of wonder, instilled in me a longing for deep, enriching prayer, and ultimately brought me to my knees in awe of Him. For that is where it always begins, you see… with a hunger for God Himself. 

The Difficulties of Prayer 

Flannery O’ Connor felt a similar tug, as did I, to grow in her own prayer life. She confessed, “Dear God, I cannot love Thee the way I want to. You are the slim crescent of a moon that I see and my self is the earth’s shadow that keeps me from seeing all. What I am afraid of dear God, is that my self-shadow will grow so large that it blocks the whole moon, and that I will judge myself by the shadow that is nothing. I do not know You, God, because I am in the way.” 1  

O’Connor’s confession seems to capture the difficulty we feel when approaching prayer. First, in order to emerge victorious in this practice, regardless of the snares that threaten to entice us away and destroy us is this: We must simply do it. We must practice prayer as a discipline until we grow from duty to delight. 

Prayer is Powerful 

We need to understand why we pray. Because this is true: Prayer is powerful. It changes everything. And no, sadly, C.S. Lewis portrayed in the film, Shadowlands did not make the memorable statement, “I pray because I can’t help myself. I pray because I am helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time, waking and sleeping. It doesn’t change God, it changes me,” but what a great sentiment! 2 We do not pray to change God. The Bible says God is immutable, unchangeable, and everlasting (Mal. 3:6), but that is why it is why prayer is such a gift. God is the only one who has control over our lives, and He willingly bends His ear to listen to us, unworthy though we be.  

Thus, secondly, we must believe that prayer is powerful. There are many instances throughout Scripture where God not only hears from His people, but answers their prayers specifically. In James, we read that the prayers of a righteous person are powerful. (5:16). God grants offspring to barren women, controls weather patterns according to the petitions of prophets, frees thousands of people from pagan overlords, and so much more. We must remind ourselves that, “[we] do not have because [we] do not ask” (James 4:2b). We make so little of God, but when we align ourselves with Him, our prayers affect change. 

Finally, we must remember that just because prayer is a spiritual discipline, it does not mean that we do not wage war against adversarial powers. In fact, prayer is often” where we meet them head on. The weapons for warfare are spiritual because they are rooted in prayer. Consider Paul’s message to the Ephesians, “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places” (Eph. 6:12). This charge should cause us to consider what happens during prayer. 

As women, this may not be language with which we typically associate ourselves. Historically, when men went off to battle women were at home. Even so, we must shift our perspective about what prayer is and does because it is more significant than we realize. Let us imagine ourselves preparing for battle by painting up, strapping on armor, and taking up sword and shield in defense. The enemy hates it when we commune with the Lord and threatens to destroy us when we do. Therefore, we must realize the weight of what we do when we pray.  

Indeed, it is difficult for us to practice prayer, yet it is one of the worthiest pursuits we can make because it offers us access to the Holy of Holies, modeled for us in the incarnated Jesus who came to earth as a baby, lived a sinless life, and offered Himself up as a sacrifice for the same people who betrayed Him. We look to His example in how to grow in prayer so that we too can die to live. 

I still have dark days. I still doubt. I still tend to turn inward instead of lift my eyes upward, but I am getting better at reminding myself to pray. In so doing, I can sense the light of the Lord growing within me, causing warmth to radiate through my soul and set me ablaze for His glory. 

 

[1] Flannery O’Conner, A Prayer Journal, 3.

[2] Shadowlands film from 1993

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