LAURA PATTERSON | GUEST

I still remember the way I looked at her Barbie Jeep car. My friend Camille lived around the corner from my house and, as a four-year-old, I dreamed of steering my own. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed riding around in the pink motorized vehicle with her—but it wasn’t mine.

Tragically, another birthday and Christmas came and went with no box big enough to contain such a magical gift. Name-brand items were not a commodity in my family of origin, and my parents were big on “delayed gratification.” They clearly didn’t know that I’d be living my best life if I got to traverse Bideford Drive in my own Barbie-pink car.

Pride’s Baby

Envy is not something we have to learn, nor is it something we outgrow with age. We merely trade in its childhood objects for adult versions. Our bestie’s Barbie Dream House is replaced with the real-life “Dream Home” we eye on Insta each day.

Pride is the mother of envy and, once it is born, envy cries out for round-the-clock care. Sure, it may learn to sleep through the night, but it still awakens unexpectedly and is incessantly needy. Comparison is its fuel, and it speaks the language of the toddler: “Me! My! Mine!”

The Scriptures are not charitable when it comes to envy. Envy is idolatry (Col. 3:5) and the antithesis of love (1 Cor. 13:4). It makes the world go round (Eccl. 4:4)! We are born with a desire to ‘get ahead’, and not just in terms of physical possessions. We covet the giftings of the woman down the pew, the relationship we lack, a position of influence, radiant skin, recognition, well-behaved children, and a lower number on the scale (just to name a few)!

We all have covetous desires, and we can become masters at externally cheering others on in their joys and successes. We may be able fool others publicly, but envy leads us to resent those who have what we lack. Covetousness grows in the recesses of the heart, and we often choose to coddle it rather than to kill it.

Even (maybe especially!) at church.

Envy’s Bad Fruit

When it comes to ministry in the church, envy can produce two unhealthy fruits we could call ‘striving’ and ‘sitting’. Both are toxic to the peace and purity of the church and each of us likely has a quick sense of which we are more prone to bear.

Strivers never rest because their eyes are always on a ‘prize’. They are often perfectionistic and restless because there is always someone out there who is more gifted! There is always something bigger and better to go after! Strivers are prone to stampeding or sabotaging those they envy, though the tactics might be subtle and conniving. Gossip and slander are always in the back pocket of the striver—easily accessed when advantageous.

Sitters, on the other hand, take themselves out of the game and pretend not to care. If you’re off the field, you won’t have to be compared to the star player, right?! This is a more insidious manifestation of envy because on the surface it appears benign, and at worst it looks like apathy or laziness.

Striving and sitting may appear dichotomous, but envy’s insatiability and insecurity can drive both. How, then, do we starve the green-eyed monster?

Envy’s Nemesis

We naturally label contentment as the opposite of envy. We are called to be content, to be sure, but let’s press in further. To be content is to trustingly receive from the Lord’s hand whatever He sees fit to give. But a steward takes a step beyond that—strategically and generously giving, investing, and sharing what God has placed in her hands. Let’s consider what this might look like in practice in three ways:

Stewards Have Open Hands. The hands of envy grasp and grip because they are ruled by a self-focused heart. A steward’s hands are open—both to receiving what God places in them and to giving back all that is asked. Stewards view whatever they have—tangibly and circumstantially—as God’s assets.

Stewards Celebrate Kingdom Advancement. While envy makes the bones rot, a steward has a tranquil heart that gives life to the flesh (Prov. 14:30). A steward is a true friend, beaming even when her sister in Christ outshines her. She can rejoice that God has given such a gift to His bride.

Stewards Give Generously. Envy’s album is titled “Mine!” and its hit songs are ‘That’s not fair!’ and ‘She got more than me!’ The steward knows all she has been entrusted with is for God’s glory, and her album is titled, ‘His!’. She humbly gives whatever God asks: quietly serving in ways she wouldn’t prefer, meeting unglamorous needs, and doing thankless jobs. The King chooses how to employ His servants, and the steward is glad.

Jesus had every reason to fall into prideful envy. No one else had to bear the penalty of sin and be forsaken by the Father. And yet, He opened His hands. He joyfully submitted Himself to however the Father would use Him. And His generosity was unmatched. ‘My life for yours!’ was His cry.

Sisters, His Spirit lives in us. What more could we want?

Photo by Sam Chang on Unsplash