KENDRA KAMMER|GUEST

My mother was a treasure. She was fun-loving and unapologetically loud. She was God’s gift to me. Her delight in others, her embracing of her calling, and her faithful submission to God’s will taught me the character of God.

God, in His goodness, places people in our lives who unlock His character for us. This is one of the unexpected graces of being human when our lives and legacy are temporary, fleeting, like “a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes” (James 4:14). But some individuals, even for the little time they spend on Earth, are a reflecting mirror of aspects of God’s goodness to the rest of us. My mom was one of them.

But I have to say “was” when I talk about my mom, because that’s how we talk about people who aren’t with us anymore. Three and a half years ago, my mom lost her battle with cancer, and now Mother’s Day is an exercise of joy in the mourning.

“Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning.” Psalm 30:5

When my mom passed away I felt breathless with grief, but I also felt the joy of one grieving with hope. The pain of loss was real, but the hope of seeing her again— free from pain and regret—that hope bolstered me, even as the tears kept coming. During that season, God walked with me through the bittersweet duality of weeping and joy, loss and love, brokenness and comfort.

My mom lived her life as an exercise in joy, so as the Holy Spirit works in me to remember her life on Mother’s Day, I shouldn’t be surprised to find that he is preparing the soil of my heart to grow the fruit of joy in the Lord, even in mourning. 

Joy in God’s Delight

My mom enjoyed things enthusiastically. She never kept her delight to herself; it was always shared. What a gift when the delight she expressed was a delight in me! I wasn’t always worthy of it— I was a typical teenager with sullen moods and bad attitudes—but my mom delighted in me because it was in her nature to find joy. 

Our God is like that. Isaiah 62:4 says, “You shall be called My Delight Is in Her… for the Lord delights in you.” Even when we’re distant or difficult, God draws near. In Christ, we are His beloved children. He looks past our rebellious inclinations and delights in us, even on our worst day!

Joy in God’s Calling

My mom lived her life on mission as an ambassador for Christ, but she wasn’t concerned about her name or her fame. She saw the beauty of the Gospel and felt compassion for the world that didn’t know that peace. She took the opportunities she was given to shine God’s light into people’s hard places.

Ephesians 2:10 says that we are God’s “workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” In an act of God’s great kindness, He lets us experience the joy of serving in His kingdom, based on the unique knots and threads of the personality He’s knitted into us (Psalm 119:13). I am thankful for the privilege of living out His calling among this world that needs to know Him.

Joy in God’s Will

So often we find ourselves asking, “What is God’s will?” We need to remember that God’s will may be the hard thing right in front of us. It might even be the very thing we are asking God to take away from us. Consider Jesus’ words before He went to the cross: “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done” (Luke 22:42). Are we willing to find joy in God’s will when His will is the hard thing?

My mom faced cancer with supernatural peace. I often heard her say that she trusted her good God. She accepted God’s will for her story to end that way. She believed in His goodness, His power, and His comfort, and she knew that one day her suffering would end and she would rest in His arms.

So I hope I’ll lean hard on God when my story doesn’t go the way I imagined. Whether it’s the everyday chaos that wears me down or the deeper ache of sorrow and loss, I want to be the kind of woman who doesn’t try to hold it all together, but instead rests—genuinely, even joyfully—in the steady goodness of God.

Mother’s Day is different now that mom celebrates it in Heaven. Now I’m the mother being celebrated. My husband and teenage sons will take me out to dinner and probably a movie— one I get to choose! But I’m going to pause this year and ask myself an important question, one I hope you’ll join me in asking: What are my kids learning about God from me? 

Mother’s Day may be difficult for you. In this broken world, there are so many reasons why that might be true—a complicated relationship with your mother, the ache of motherhood unfulfilled, or the loss of someone you love. If today feels more like mourning than celebration, I hope you’ll lean on God. Let yourself weep. Let yourself hope. There is joy, even here, in the mourning.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash