SUSAN BENNETT|GUEST

Our words can either wound or bless, but Scripture shows us a better way. God calls us to speak truth with beauty, grace, and wisdom—and to cultivate ears that truly hear.

We have all been guilty of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. My mother-in-law used to say in one of those moments, “Open mouth, insert foot!” When that happens, it can range anywhere from a simple embarrassment to the wounding of a relationship. Have you noticed how Christian women are often made examples in comedy routines to promote laughter about this very thing? The problem is, it really is no laughing matter at all—especially if you are on the receiving end of a word that is not fitly spoken.

What We Say Matters

I want us, however, to focus on the positive: God’s truth spoken rightly and at just the right time. Proverbs 25:11–13 says:

“A word fitly spoken
is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.
Like a gold ring or an ornament of gold
is a wise reprover to a listening ear.
Like the cold of snow in the time of harvest
is a faithful messenger to those who send him;
he refreshes the soul of his masters.”

The imagery of this biblical proverb may feel far from our modern preference for simplicity, but its meaning is rich. A word spoken at just the right moment and fitted to the hearer’s need is described as ornate and beautiful—so exquisitely crafted that it could be counted among the work of a master artisan. It is both beautiful and valuable. It is one thing to admire beauty from afar, but quite another to desire it, treasure it, and make it one’s own. A word fitly spoken has that kind of value; the hearer treasures its truth and pursues its ownership.

“Truth becomes mine when it becomes me.” As my Spiritual mother, Joan Skinner used to say.

How We Say It Matters Too

Our proverb also points out that the “setting” matters. Just as a precious stone’s beauty is enhanced by the setting in which it rests, so the beauty of truth is shaped by the manner in which it is spoken. You have likely heard, “It’s not what you said, but how you said it that hurt.” There is real wisdom in that. How we speak the truth matters.

“When truth is spoken in love and received with humility, Christ is seen” (based on Ephesians 4:15).

God commands us to speak truth to one another, but He also calls us to consider how we speak it. Paul exhorts us to “speak the truth in love” (Eph. 4:15), and to let our speech “always be with grace, seasoned with salt” (Col. 4:6). An old proverb asks, “Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?” These questions help us speak truth in a way that preserves relationships—much like salt preserves what is good. This blesses both the one who hears and the one who brings the message of truth.

Receiving Words Spoken

Our proverb also shows that it “takes two.” A word fitly spoken is only a blessing to a listening ear (Prov. 25:12). Just as God’s discipline “yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it” (Heb. 12:11), so the beauty of truth becomes a blessing only when the hearer receives it with humility. The Lord said to Ezekiel, “All my words that I shall speak to you receive in your heart and hear with your ears” (Ezek. 3:10).

Perhaps you wonder, how can I become a woman who speaks words of beauty—words others want to receive? It begins with truth. Fitly spoken words must be rooted in God’s Word. Jesus prayed, “Your word is truth” (John 17:17). Knowing God’s truth is the starting point. Are Christ’s words dwelling in us richly? (Col. 3:16) The next step is to become a listener yourself. Do we receive God’s Word as nourishment for our souls? Do we welcome reproof as something that refreshes and strengthens us to serve the Lord with a whole heart? Again, Proverbs echoes this: “The ear that listens to life-giving reproof will dwell among the wise” (Prov. 15:31).

When we speak words shaped by Scripture, offered in love, and seasoned with grace, we participate in the very work God uses to build up His people. And when we receive truth with humility, we reveal that His Spirit is at work in us. May the Lord make us women who treasure His Word so deeply that what flows from our mouths is beautiful, valuable, and refreshing—apples of gold in settings of silver.

May our homes, our friendships, and our churches be blessed because we have learned both to speak words of beauty and to cultivate ears that hear.

Photo by Christina @ wocintechchat.com on Unsplash