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Taking our Stress to the Lord

MEGAN JUNG|GUEST Take breaks…Be present…You can’t be all things to all people. Meet others where they are. Eliminate hurry. Don’t delay. Know your limits. Start exercising. Strength, not cardio. Stress makes you sick. Drink more water. Strive for connection. Make time for yourself. Get enough sleep to prevent “X.” Wake up early to do “X.” Good enough is good enough. Do your best. Take media breaks. Stay up to date. Say “no.” Do more. How did you feel as you read that list? I don’t know about you, but I felt stressed! A Stress-filled World The world invites us into its fear and its solutions to that fear constantly. We live in a particularly tense and defensive time. Fried nervous systems and dialed up threat responses crowd our communities, near and far. Well-meaning tips about stress management often invite more stress with additional tasks to incorporate into our packed lives. And if we’re honest, unhelpful messages about stress are not exclusively external. Most of us could single-handedly fill a small pond (or larger) with our own internal narratives, to-do lists, and strategies. We don’t need help from outside sources to react to stress with stress. It’s in us. Stress is a product of brokenness, many parts of it will remain until Jesus returns, and we all have it in common. And we all want relief, peace, and help. It's National Stress Awareness month, and I want to encourage you, not with psychoeducation about causes and symptoms of stress (which are beneficial!), but with what we can do with the reality of stress. Like our brother Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, we have thorns in our flesh...

Taking our Stress to the Lord2025-03-26T14:20:02+00:00

Silencing the Inner Critic

KRISTINE SUNG As I stare at the computer screen, writing this blog, I hear the thoughts scroll through my brain. “What are you doing? You’re not a writer. Do you really have anything worthwhile to say? Wouldn’t it be better just to play on your phone?” This, my friends, is a glimpse of my inner critic. It can be so bossy. Critical. Impatient. It’s like a toddler. Perhaps you can relate. Scientists estimate humans have 6,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Many thoughts go unnoticed. Yet others we hyperfocus on. When we stop to listen to our thoughts, we don’t tend to hear a ton of ‘atta girl’ thoughts, nor do they naturally conform to truth of the gospel. Sadly, more often than we realize, our behavior marches to the beat of their drum. A Look at Psalm 103 Thankfully, this is not a modern problem. In the Psalms, David often reveals how he deals with his own inner critic. Take a look at Psalm 103. As you begin to read the psalm, you see right away David giving instruction to his own inner critic, which he refers to as “his soul.” He tells himself to “Bless the Lord, O my soul” and “not to forget all his benefits.” We don’t know what David was struggling with when he wrote these words. But when he tells himself not to forget, it is likely he is doing just that, forgetting. I know my toddler-like inner critic is often forgetful. While I know that I am not and will never be perfect, nor is there any hope in me to save myself, my inner thoughts easily forget that. And it doesn’t want to think about God and His benefits; rather, it often focuses on unrealistic expectations of myself. And it is quick to point out how often I don’t meet those expectations...

Silencing the Inner Critic2025-03-26T14:15:22+00:00

Cherish: Encouragement and Equipping for Ministry

HANNAH STARNES|GUEST Not quite two years into full time ministry, I attended my first WE (Wives of Elders) event at Women’s Leadership Training in Atlanta. WE was just getting off the ground and as a young pastor’s wife, I was thrilled there was a ministry specifically for the wives of elders. Though my husband had not been a TE (Teaching Elder) for long, we were already weary, and I found myself continuing to take on more than I should because I believed that was expected of me. A joke had been made more than once that when my husband was hired, they had gotten “two for the price of one” because I had a hard time saying no. Without a mentor to guide me, I burned out quickly. But at the WE meeting, I felt relief for the first time. I was pregnant and therefore already emotional, but as I left the room I cried as I recapped the experience to my mom, telling her that I had met and connected with women who understood what I was going through. I was no longer alone! It was a special time of sharing one another’s burdens as well as rejoicing with one another through the cheerful parts of ministry. I saw 1 Corinthians 12:26 working out before my eyes, “If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.” I came away feeling refreshed. In early 2024, I joined the WE team to be a liaison for the new WE cohorts. I wanted others to feel the way I did after that first WE meeting—connected, cared for, understood. It is a privilege to be a part of a group that seeks to connect elders’ wives to one another to fight against the feelings of isolation, bitterness, and misunderstanding. These cohorts have changed and altered over time but still maintain the purpose of connecting both teaching and ruling elders’ wives together for the purpose of encouragement and glorifying God together...

Cherish: Encouragement and Equipping for Ministry2025-03-12T14:52:54+00:00

Cherish: A Safe Place for Growth

KIM BARNES | CONTRIBUTOR A few years ago, my husband, a pastor, and I experienced a significant crisis in our ministry life. We were crushed. I went from being a pastor’s wife who loved the church and could imagine no better life, to being a pastor’s wife who thought it would be great if her husband found a different line of work. I went from viewing gathered worship as a place of ministry, hospitality, and joy to a place that my head knew was necessary and good, but that my heart struggled to be present for. I couldn’t imagine ever being able to truly love and trust a local church again. I’m thankful that during that season, I had access to counseling for pastor’s wives through Cherish. Connecting with Cherish I have a vivid memory from the summer of 2019. My husband had gone ahead of me to his new pastoral call while I stayed behind to finish the packing, house-selling, and other necessities. As I sat amongst boxes, I took a break and scrolled on my phone and saw a post on social media about a new program from the PCA: Cherish. It offered free and discounted professional counseling for PCA pastor’s wives. I’d seen this promoted online before, but it didn’t seem like the right time for me to pursue counseling. We were in the middle of a big move that was stressful; adding something else to my life seemed like a bad idea. Yet, in that moment, nudged by the Holy Spirit, I thought I should check it out...

Cherish: A Safe Place for Growth2025-02-24T16:05:10+00:00

Light and Life for Caregivers

GINNY VROBLESKY|GUEST When I was in graduate school, I remember listening in wonder as the professor described plants as photoautotrophs—eaters of light. They take the energy from the sun, combining it with water and minerals to make the oxygen and food that enables the rest of us to live. Through them, light becomes life to us.   This image of trees absorbing light and giving off life came to me recently as I thought of caregiving for my dad. Usually, I dwell on the challenges I face, my inadequacy and fears, not on the privilege of sharing light and life with him. But he depends on me, in the same way young children depend on their parents. We become life sustainers or life givers, and who of us is adequate for this? As Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 3:5, “Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God.” What do we feed on to sustain us so that we may give to the ones under our care? Feast on His Faithfulness Psalm 37:3b says that we are to dwell in the land (where God has placed us) and to feed on His faithfulness. We are to nourish our spirits on His care for us right, even in the midst of the trials of the day. The verse also refers to Isaiah 40:11, a passage where God reminds His people that He cares for them as a shepherd cares for His sheep. Making a list, even if only in our minds, of ways God has cared for us during the day reassures our hearts that He is present with us. The verse also refers to Isaiah 40:11, a passage where God reminds His people that He is caring for them as a shepherd. In our culture, shepherds walk behind the sheep, often pushing them forward with sheepdogs. But in the Middle East, a shepherd walks before the sheep, calling them by name, leading them forward. They follow him because they know his voice and trust him. Jesus uses this picture to describe Himself in John 10. As we think of how He has shepherded us in the past we can have more courage to follow Him into the often-difficult future of caregiving. He understands how the threats and challenges of life shake us. But He assures us that He is with us, goes before us, and calls us to come with Him into that future. David also encourages us to taste and see that the Lord is good (Ps. 34:8). He ponders this goodness in Psalm 31 as he remembers that his times are in God’s hands, and that God had wondrously shown His steadfast love (or faithfulness) to David when David was in a besieged city. As caregivers, we often feel we are in a confined, tough place, but that is where God can show us His steadfast love. The reality of His faithfulness is definitely food for our souls...

Light and Life for Caregivers2025-02-24T15:48:37+00:00

What Does God’s Protection Entail?

AMY SANTARELLI |GUEST I pushed my 4-year-old granddaughter on the swing while she chatted away. My attention was suddenly piqued as she ended her ramblings with the words, “But I know that God will keep me safe.” I was happy to hear her talking about God, but I also found myself pondering the accuracy of her theology. Is it true that God will keep us safe? What does God’s protection entail and not entail? How do we properly understand this ourselves, as well as teach it to our children? We don’t want to tell them God will keep them safe and then when difficulty strikes, they feel God abandoned them, think He doesn’t care about them, or that He couldn’t or wouldn’t come through for them. The Importance of Biblical Context In the Bible we find many wonderful passages describing God’s care and protection of His people. But it is crucial that we practice good hermeneutics as we interpret those passages. We need to look at the context of the verses, who they were originally written to, and for what purpose. Here’s an example from Deuteronomy 28:7:  The LORD will cause your enemies who rise against you to be defeated before you. They shall come out against you one way and flee before you seven ways. To discern the context here, is it helpful to understand biblical covenants...

What Does God’s Protection Entail?2025-01-20T18:59:38+00:00

Parenting is Hard

LISA UPDIKE | GUEST Parenting is hard. I mean really hard. I know. Of course, parenting is rewarding, wonderful, and awe inspiring. I’m not denying any of that. In parenting, we experience a depth of love that we never knew we could fathom. In parenting, we catch a glimpse of our Heavenly Father’s great love for us. In parenting, we begin to understand just a wee bit of why Jesus laid down his life for us, his beloved children. Still. Parenting is hard. Some days more than others. I’m right, and you know it. It’s important on those difficult days to remember that hard isn’t bad; it’s just hard. In fact, hard might even be good. It’s funny. We think if God calls us to do something then He will make the path clear, straight, navigable. Somehow, we actually believe that if God calls us to something, and we obey, then it should be easy. But somehow life just doesn’t work that way, does it? You see, God calls us to the hard. Jesus promised that we would have tribulation in this world (John 16:33). Paul even said that Christians rejoice in their sufferings! (Rom. 5:3) And sometimes, parenting is definitely full of both tribulation and suffering. I wonder if, when God told Eve there would be pain in childbearing (Gen. 3:16) if He meant the whole experience of raising children would increase in pain. We parents are so vulnerable. After all, we love these children of ours and want to protect them from all the difficult things that can happen: rejection, failure, sickness, disability, temptation…on and on the list goes. When our children suffer, we suffer. But our job isn’t to protect them from suffering, is it? After all, God loves us far more than we love our children, and He actually brings suffering to us for our good. Our job is to point our children to Jesus in the midst of it all...

Parenting is Hard2025-01-18T15:06:55+00:00

Wrestling With God in Our Suffering

JULIANNE ATKINSON |GUEST As soon as I saw the area code of the phone call my husband was receiving, I knew something was off. I was pregnant with our first child and set to move for his job to Nashville, TN at the beginning of my third trimester. This was a city I had friends in, I knew there were good churches there, and it was a city we both liked. After a short conversation, my husband conveyed the news that there was a post they hadn’t accounted for in rural, northern New York state and he was now at the top of the list to take it. I was disappointed, but it wasn’t my first move and I hoped that God would have a good church and community there waiting when we arrived. Instead, I found a desolate place I never grew to love. I had left a large church in San Antonio where I was on staff and knew and loved each family and their kids by name. In New York, there were a  handful of families hoping for a PCA pastor to come and pastor them. Church members brought meals when I had my son, but it felt more like they were checking off a box than done so out of friendship. I gathered the women of the church and started a Bible study in hopes of fostering fellowship as we studied God’s Word together. I ended up spending the study time preventing my son from climbing sky high, getting into people’s desks, and drinking bathroom chemicals. My husband worked long hours, weekends, and sometimes over an hour away. I was more lonely than I was during the Covid lockdown. It seemed like every hope I had for our move was dashed. The depths of disappointment I felt contrasted with the hope of change and led me to wrestle with God through it. Here my head-knowledge intersected with my very real and difficult circumstances. Were my toes digging into a sandy beach as the storm swirled around me or were they resting on the solid rock of the foundation of God’s promises? If everything around me fell down, I knew He would not.  As believers, sometimes we suffer pain and loss so deep that we come to a crossroads in our relationship with God and who he is. Some might respond to that pain as though with a finger in his face saying, “How could GOD do this to ME?” Our hearts are hardened. We feel bitter. We struggle to forgive God. And we turn and run FROM him. Others might ask the same question, but with trust in God’s faithfulness to his promises—that he really is who he says he is. “How COULD God do this to me?” In that moment, we run TO Him and His Word. As we wrestle with his Word, we will find rest in the midst of our pain and rock under our feet...

Wrestling With God in Our Suffering2025-01-08T18:35:45+00:00

Celebrating Christmas with Hope

BETHANY BELUE | CONTRIBUTOR Christmas is my favorite season with children, with all the lights, decorated yards, Christmas festivities, and the awe they experience as they soak in each fun holiday activity.  It’s a sweet time of joy and celebration and I make every effort to enjoy each moment with them and let go of my stress and anxiety that sits just below the surface. That’s because, in the midst of all the celebrations and joy, the hard parts of this life still exist. In my community, there are broken relationships, marriage hardships, the first Christmas without a parent, another Christmas with empty arms, and the longing to celebrate this holiday with a spouse. The pain I see all around me is real and deep, and yet Christmas is coming. All those sorrows will not disappear in the middle of feasts and festivities. I often wonder what it looks like to hold both joy and sorrow as we approach this special holiday.  During a recent conversation with a friend, I was reminded of something Tim Keller said while I sat under his teaching, “Christmas means that you will never be alone.” I remember that season of life when I heard those words and how they filled my heart with peace. No matter what my life may look like, no matter what sorrows I’m sitting in, or unmet desires I’m waiting for, I am not alone. Jesus was born so that I may never be alone...  

Celebrating Christmas with Hope2024-12-05T15:02:53+00:00

The Good Portion of Christmas

MEAGHAN MAY | CONTRIBUTOR As a child, I was fascinated by the tiny nativity set at my grandmother’s home. These little figures told me a big story. But as an adult, I ponder if these sets are realistic.  Mary is fresh-faced, neatly pressed, and beautifully dressed. She doesn’t seem uncomfortable with her flapping stomach after her recent labor. The baby Jesus is giggling while placed in the animals’ snack bowl and dear Joseph doesn’t seem overwhelmed by the task of caring for his betrothed and new child. Does the pristine nativity scene set unrealistic expectations for our own celebrations? I have found that some of my own Christmases have been more of a mess than they have been merry. Each Christmas I have a list of key elements that I think, if I can just pull all this together, we will have a Merry Christmas. But I can tell a lot about what I long for at Christmas when I start to name what I am worried about. I am tempted to think that because things have gone awry, God is holding out on me. I fail to consider that God is offering me something more than what I am requesting....

The Good Portion of Christmas2024-11-22T16:44:40+00:00
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