relationships

Nothing to Hide: Encouraging Transparency in our Relationships

AMY SANTARELLI |GUEST Nothing to fear. Nothing to prove. Nothing to hide. Nothing to fear. Nothing to prove. Nothing to hide. I kept repeating the words to myself as I sat down to lead our women’s Bible study. I had determined that night to share some things on my heart that were not easy to share. They were revealing. We were studying the process of biblical change using a booklet1 I often use as a biblical counselor. I was excited about sharing this great little treasure with my fellow women. But then came the conviction. In preparation, I was scanning the booklet’s section on repentance and when I read, not for the first time, that true repentance means actual turning from former ways, that is when the conviction struck. I recalled that many times lately, I had confessed to God and asked forgiveness for habitually staying up too late and then sleeping in too long. I complained in my heart about not having enough time to do things, and yet I was on my phone so much. And then there was the control that food often had over me. I was running to things other than Christ. This was not the first time I had felt this conviction...

Nothing to Hide: Encouraging Transparency in our RelationshipsChristina Fox2026-04-12T18:04:16+00:00

The Challenge and Hope of Love

BETHANY BELUE | CONTRIBUTOR My children and I have been working our way through a Scripture memory book this school year. Each week, we focus on a different verse, learning it together, memorizing it, playing a song related to it, and weaving it into our week. It’s been a sweet way for us to hide God’s Word in our hearts together. Last week, the passage was short and simple: “Love is patient. Love is kind” (1 Cor. 13:4). Although it was a simpler verse to memorize, it brought so much depth of conversation and meditation. As my husband and I parent our children, we often talk about loving others. What does it mean to put our siblings before ourselves? How can we show kindness to our friends? How can we be patient when we have to wait for things? It’s woven into our parenting and our family values, but in my own heart, memorizing this passage with my children provoked some deeper feelings and struggles. First Corinthians 13:4-7 says, “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” It’s easy to love my children when they are obeying me, to love my husband when he is serving me, to love my friends when they are treating me kindly, but what about all the times when it’s hard to love others?...

The Challenge and Hope of LoveChristina Fox2026-02-09T20:53:45+00:00

Scheduling Hospitality: Making Space for Others in Our Calendars

AMY SANTARELLI |GUEST It was a Saturday, and I was tired and not feeling up to my to-do list. In a more energetic moment earlier in the week, my husband and I had invited some people to come over for lunch after church on Sunday. But suddenly it was the day before and I was second-guessing our decision because now I needed to go to the store, make food, and clean. I just wanted to take a nap and do whatever I liked. “What were we thinking?” I asked him, as I lugged out the vacuum. Flash forward to Sunday evening, the guests just left, and we plopped down on the couch, happy smiles on our faces. Did we regret scheduling them to come over? Not one bit. Whatever work we went through was worth it for the connection we felt and the joy of serving others, knowing we were helping them feel part of a family. We were already planning who we would invite next as we discovered joy in obeying I Peter 4:9: “Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.” Okay, well, I still needed to do some internal work on the Saturday afternoon grumbling part! Don’t Wait Until You Feel Like It...

Scheduling Hospitality: Making Space for Others in Our CalendarsChristina Fox2026-01-24T17:16:10+00:00

Three Questions to Ask When Using AI

AMANDA DUVALL | GUEST Artificial Intelligence (AI) is everywhere—in the news, in my internet searches and online shopping, and even my personal conversations. The advances and changes are coming so fast, I teeter between growing excited about how this tool will help me get more done and spiraling down a rabbit hole over all the ways technology is changing the world as we know it. In my limited usage, I’ve already found AI powerful and useful for a variety of tasks. AI has helped me get my one-year-old to sleep better, research for and edit work quicker, gain ideas to treat odd health symptoms, plan travel, and more. AI can do it all—in mere seconds! Still, there are so many moral and ethical concerns surrounding AI, regarding privacy and data, content and regulation, intellectual property rights, threats to creative work, relational confusion, and massive disruptions in education, the economy, and health care. It is easy to give in to fear and frankly, I prefer to delegate these concerns as “out there,” for someone else to unravel. I am just a normal nobody trying to keep up and figure out how to use AI to make life a little bit more manageable. Then, I remember the day I got my Facebook account. As a college freshman sitting in my dorm room, suddenly I was connected to college students across my campus and the country. Social media opened a world of possibilities, what could go wrong? We know so much more now than we did then about how social media affects our brains, our ability to focus, and our mental health, to name a few issues. Haven’t we learned our lesson, then? I’m not sure. Too often, we are so desperate to adopt a new technology with the promise of optimizing our lives without considering, “just because I can use it for all these things, should I? We need to be discerning, not just about how AI is changing our world, but also how it is changing us. With all this change spinning out of our control, we cling to the promise, “the Word of the Lord remains forever” (1 Peter 1:25). We can turn to Him in this, and in every situation. Here are three questions, grounded in what God tells us is good and true, to ask when using AI...

Three Questions to Ask When Using AIChristina Fox2025-11-13T21:20:17+00:00

Making Space for Others in Our Conversations

AMY SANTARELLI |GUEST I walk into church and spot a new person. I know I should go over and engage her, but such actions often end in stilted exchanges or awkward pauses. Making conversational space for people I don’t know well takes much more effort than the comfort of finding my seat or chatting easily with friends. Do I take the path of least resistance and avoid eye contact? Maybe I offer an acknowledging smile, but continue to my familiar chair? Or do I practice Christ-like hospitality and in love, make my way over to her? The Importance of Questions Proverbs 20:5 says, “The purpose in a man's heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.” Practicing hospitality in our conversations and becoming a person of understanding takes… practice. Each person we come across is a unique individual made in God’s image with varying interests, experiences, knowledge, and giftings. With the right question, we can tap into that well and the responses will begin to leak out. Even just a little response gives us more direction to continue the questions and soon that well can become a flow of water. Good conversation creates a connection, resulting in feeling seen and heard. It can make all the difference between being included or left on the outside. Why is that important? Because asking questions is a means to demonstrate Christ-like love. Ephesians 2:12 reminds us that we were separated, foreigners and strangers; we were outsiders until Christ initiated with us. The Importance of Good Questions...

Making Space for Others in Our ConversationsChristina Fox2025-11-11T16:43:52+00:00

Redeeming the Time This New School Year

KRISTEN HATTON | GUEST With two children married and one entering his final year of college, I know how fast the years go by. And while we love the empty nester stage we are now in, I miss the activities that characterized our lives during my children’s growing up years. The school and sports-related activities, yes, but also the sitting down at the dinner table together, playing games, watching a TV series, relaxing by the pool, the laughter and noise. Worshipping together and discussing the sermon over Sunday lunch. The everyday conversations that come through normal family life together. Looking back, I see that the seemingly insignificant moments were actually the most important. These weren’t Instagrammable so the magnitude could easily be missed. But it was also not happenstance that the regular routines of daily life far exceeded any fleeting post as a shaping influence on our kids. Above everything, my husband and I wanted our kids to know their need for Jesus and his love for them. We wanted our family to be closely connected, to feel safe to be vulnerable and known by each other. To this end, even when we couldn’t see the forest for the trees, we endeavored to be intentional according to what we valued most. Our kids didn’t always like the decisions we made. I felt lonely at times swimming upstream against the culture. But by God’s grace we persevered, looking not to their temporal happiness (or ours), but toward a hope that they would root their lives in Christ. Certainly, there is no formula for ensuring a life of faith for our kids and the relationships we desire to cultivate. It is by the grace of God, and yet as parents we are called to diligently shepherd their hearts (Deut. 6:7). But it starts with us—with our hearts. Scripture tells us, “For where our treasure is there our heart will be also (Matt. 6:21).” Where our treasure is. Therefore, I encourage you to evaluate if and how your family rhythms point to and flow from your greatest treasure. And if not, how you might reorient those rhythms this school year. I’ve outlined below five considerations....

Redeeming the Time This New School YearChristina Fox2026-04-03T15:45:49+00:00

Colossians 3 and Lessons Learned from My Wedding Day

BETHANY BELUE | CONTRIBUTOR It was a beautiful fall day when my husband and I stood in front of a sanctuary, with family and friends gathered around, and entered into a covenant of marriage. As our nerves jittered and our hearts pounded, our pastor pointed out words from four verses that the Apostle Paul wrote to the church in Colossae. Almost nine years later, these words continue to remain in my heart and have overflowed into my marriage and family. Colossians 3:12-15: Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Our pastor encouraged us with four truths from this passage as we entered into this binding covenant. Love as you have been loved, forgive as you have been forgiven, encourage as you have been encouraged, and serve as you have been served. Love, forgive, encourage, and serve. These are words I’ve always wanted to offer in my relationships, but the Lord has specifically used the way they were taught from this passage to show me more of my need for Jesus and how it is only through Him that we can offer these things to others. Love as you have been loved It’s hard to love others. Over the last nine years of marriage, I’ve realized how much I really don’t have what it takes to love another person without the help of Jesus...

Colossians 3 and Lessons Learned from My Wedding DayChristina Fox2025-07-04T19:05:42+00:00

Sanctifying Relationships

KRISTI MCCOWN | GUEST My personal struggle is, most of the time, “between my ears,” as Susan Tyner would say. My mind is a battlefield—a place where intrusive thoughts, fears, and sinful desires battle for control. Relationships are at the top of the list of the daily battles that I struggle with. This is why I am grateful for gospel friends. “Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself…” This C.S. Lewis quote from the book The Four Loves came to mind when I listened to the podcast “Risky Obedience” by Karen Hodge and Susan Tyner. Their conversation has been a breath of fresh air for my soul. The vulnerability they share is life-giving to me. One of Karen's questions in the first episode that struck me was, “Why is it risky? What do we risk when we enter relationships with other people?” Relationships, for me, are equal parts messy and wonderful. Much of the pain throughout my life has come from the way I respond to conflicts with others. I have a strong desire to be liked. My love language is words of encouragement, but the flip side of that is that I fear criticism. I fear what others think of me. So, when someone criticizes me or points out an error, I tend to fall apart. My reaction is to cover, hide, or blame. I believe the childhood saying, "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words can never hurt me," is incorrect because words do hurt. There is another childhood rhythm that says, "I'm rubber, and you're glue; what bounces off me sticks to you.” Both statements make it sound as though the words people say to us have no effect. But they do. In fact, they often have a lasting impact, leaving scars that last far longer than any schoolyard fight or tumble. Even more, if others hit us with hurtful words, our sinful desire will be to hurt them back. Karen Hodge reminded me so sweetly in this podcast that “we speak out of the overflow of our hearts.” We see this in our cutting and sarcastic jabs, in the ways we place blame on others, or in our defensive responses. Whatever is in our hearts will come out when we have a conflict with another person. I know that all too well. As I continue to think about how I respond to the messiness of interpersonal relationships, the podcast left me with two encouragements...

Sanctifying RelationshipsChristina Fox2025-03-10T18:03:29+00:00

Don’t Hoard Peace

SUSAN BENNETT|GUEST "You can't keep this" are the last words someone who struggles with hoarding ever wants to hear. If you ever watched one of those reality shows about hoarding, you know that hoarders surround themselves with items, so much so, that they can’t maneuver around their homes. I once knew someone who tried to take control of their life with this activity to her own demise. It caused great ruin to both her physical home and her familial relationships. When God blesses us with material or spiritual gifts, it is always for the benefit of sharing them with others. God never intends for His children to hoard the blessings they receive, especially the gift of His peace. Biblical Peace Peace in Scripture, both Old and New Testaments, carries several ideas. Most importantly, completeness and wholeness are related to love and loyalty to God and others, which are at the core of the Gospel of Peace. The Hebrew word for Peace is shalom, which holds this same beautiful idea. This gift of peace comes to us per God's counsel from before the foundation of the world. (Eph. 1:11-12) As with all the good gifts God gives His children (James 1:17), they are as unchanging as He is. His peace is perfect and, therefore, constant and reliable even when our lives are anything but. We can trust God's peace when war rages out in the world or even at our front door! Perfect Peace "You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee because he trusts in You" (Is. 26:3). Can you hear the hope in this verse? Notice the two actions of God in exchange for the two by man. First, God keeps him, and second, He provides for his peace. And not just any peace but "perfect peace." I like the ring of perfect peace, don't you? In this instance, to keep means to guard as with a garrison. God's keeping of us is serious business. God's perfect peace is His provision of protection, like a defensive weapon. Wow, a peace that guards like an army of soldiers!...

Don’t Hoard PeaceChristina Fox2024-12-26T19:38:33+00:00

The Assumptions We Make

LISA UPDIKE | GUEST We were getting pedicures—a splurge! Two women sat at our feet, trimming our nails, and chatting. One of them said something and they both began giggling. My daughter and I exchanged glances. We couldn’t speak their language and the first thing we assumed was that they were laughing at one of our feet. Haven’t you made those types of assumptions? Conversation is flowing, you hear it down the hall…you walk in…things fall silent. “Were they talking about me?” Someone looks up and then away. “Are they trying to avoid me?” You send a text with cute emojis, get a one-word response, and immediately think, “Is she mad at me?” The Danger with Assumptions Ugh! Soon we’re enslaved by our assumptions. Our concern over what someone might be thinking robs us of freedom while our inner middle-school girl begins to run our life. We avoid relationships, assuming that others will judge us for our struggles. We might dodge the put-together woman at church because, juice on our blouse, we’re worried she’ll critique our disheveled appearance. Meanwhile, she is desperately lonely, and misses being with children. We move through our lives, thinking we know the hearts and minds of others, behaving as if our assumptions are actually facts. How careful we must be, for it is from the well of such assumptions that we are prone to draw insecurity—a poisonous drink...

The Assumptions We MakeChristina Fox2024-10-19T12:45:43+00:00